Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Witnessed a car crash - should I have stopped?

96 replies

MrsMcW · 14/08/2018 18:53

More of a WWYD than AIBU, but...

I was on the motorway today and two cars just ahead of me crashed and went spinning into the barrier. I'm not sure what happened, but car 1 suddenly veered out of its lane and car 2 went into the back of him. The front of car 2 was pretty crumpled, but it looked like the passengers were OK.

I had my 4 month old baby in the car and needed to get home to feed him, so I kept driving. Another car did pull over to help. However, I've since seen on the local news that the motorway was closed for an hour and two people were blue lighted to hospital. I now have a terrible guilty conscience that I ought to have stopped, even with a hungry baby in the back seat.

What would you have done?

OP posts:

ExBbqQueen · 15/08/2018 06:35

I stopped a few weeks ago on the A1(m). Car hit by a lorry. There were 6 cars I think that stopped. Plenty drove past. I called the emergency services, another helped to talk to the trapped passenger (very seriously hurt), others helped get the car driver & passengers out. Others spoke to the lorry driver to keep him calm. He was very shaken. There was a nurse there who administered first aid till paramedics arrived. Fire brigade was in attending also as passenger had to be cut of vehicle & airlifted to hospital. Road was closed for almost 2 hours. We were there for that length of time. If I’d had a baby I’m not sure I’d have stopped. But for me it was instinct. I think what you did was the right thing for you. I’ve been traumatised since witnessing it.

SoupDragon · 15/08/2018 06:42

Would you like someone to stop if you're in an accident?

Someone did pull over to help. The OP wasn’t the only other person there.

You could have done so safely (using other cars as a barrier) and potentially saved a life. You child would have been fine in the car for a minute or two.

I disagree. No way is it safe to leave a baby in a car on a motorway.

strawberrypenguin · 15/08/2018 06:45

Not with a baby in the car, it wouldn't have been safe. Contact the police and offer a witness statement. Go easy on yourself you're probably a bit shocked too

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/08/2018 06:48

I would have pulled over to call the police. I would have helped if I safely could (I'm first aid trained), but on motorways it's very hard to safely do anything other than call the police if the cars aren't off the road on the hard shoulder.

If you see something like that I don't agree with driving on until you are sure help has arrived. A baby can go hungry for a short time to ensure other people's lives are saved. It probably didn't make any difference since the person you saw stop probably called the police. But you don't know. Some people do stop just to take advantage of a situation. Obviously driving on isn't evil like that, but it's pretty damn selfish and certainly not civil minded.

Violetroselily · 15/08/2018 06:55

Anyone who thinks that OP should have stopped and a) left her baby in the car or b) carried him out on to the motorway is an idiot.

THEsonofaBITCH · 15/08/2018 06:57

OP, for what its worth, IMHO you did the right thing in your circumstances (child with you, another car stopped) so don't let anyone get to you (20 years experience as Search and Rescue specialist so been there done that in pretty much every situation).

JimWilsonBell · 15/08/2018 07:04

You definitely did the right thing. More people are killed on motorways as pedestrians than as motorists, because the second you leave the car you become a pedestrian the second thing that puts you at risk is being in a stationary vehicle. But like everyone has said you need to call the police as a witness. Write down now what you saw and draw a picture. That way even if it's a week before anyone talks to you you'll have a clear memory of what happened.

feral · 15/08/2018 07:17

I don't blame you for not stopping but I'm shocked you didn't phone the police on 101 when you got back and offer yourself as a witness. You've thought about it enough to post on here but your couldn't be bothered to do that? Poor.

Dyrne · 15/08/2018 07:23

When I was young my brother was in a car accident - pretty nasty, the car rolled and one of the passengers ended up breaking her back. Despite it being on a busy road and then being there for quite a while, no one stopped to offer help.

My brother ended up having to crawl his way out the car to find a phone to call for help - he was only 16. I shudder to imagine what extra damage he could have caused himself if he’d Injured his spine as well.

Since then, I have learned first aid and ALWAYS stop when I see an incident, even if it’s just for a few seconds to make sure they’re already receiving aid.

OP, you had a young baby in the car and saw someone else stop so it’s different, but to others saying they wouldn’t stop even if they had no baby in the car - you realise that in a massive incident like a car going across the road, the traffic is going to slow to a standstill? Odds are, there would be no cars whizzing past you! To see something happen and not even consider stopping to help is gobsmacking - what if the first aid you could provide in those first few minutes could save their life?

frasersmummy · 15/08/2018 07:33

You didn't even call 999??? Let alone stop to see if you could help.

I hope it never happens to you.. Someone else's baby was in that car

twoheaped · 15/08/2018 07:37

I had an accident on the motorway.
I was in lane 2 of 4 and the most terrifying thing was the cars whizzing past at full speed both sides of the accident.
To be fair, it may have just looked like a HGV stopped in the lane but he had clipped me and I was sideways jammed up against his can.
Only one person stopped and she was a paramedic (In uniform on way home after shift). We could only exit the car once highways had turned up and stopped the motorway.
The lovely paramedic took my kids off and dropped them to school whilst I was delivered to work by the police.

To be honest, I was grateful she had stopped but it was bloody dangerous, rush hour on the m6. Not a place to be stood for sure!!
Yes to ringing 101 and telling them what you know.

SoupDragon · 15/08/2018 08:06

You didn't even call 999??? Let alone stop to see if you could help.

Someone had stopped.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 15/08/2018 08:27

You made a split second decision based on having your baby in the car. You saw that someone else had stopped who obviously witnessed the crash so all in all I don't think you were wrong.

woollyheart · 15/08/2018 09:04

Stopping on the hard shoulder may be safer in France and Germany. In the UK it is extremely hazardous and many people are killed on the hard shoulder every year. If you stop, you are advised to get everyone out of the car, and move them away from the road and the hard shoulder. You would have had to take your baby out of the car and keep them safe behind the barriers. I fail to see what help you could give holding a baby behind the barriers. You did the right thing, and would have potientially caused further accidents if you had stopped.

Eliza9917 · 15/08/2018 10:31

@frasersmummy Wed 15-Aug-18 07:33:47
*You didn't even call 999??? Let alone stop to see if you could help.

I hope it never happens to you.. Someone else's baby was in that car*

That's a bit out of fucking order.

Blobbyweeble · 15/08/2018 11:05

Please do not stop using the other cars to protect you, they will be shunted forward with considerable force if they are crashed into, it is also extremely dangerous to park in the fend off position unless you are trained. It takes a surprising amount of time for traffic to slow to a standstill and there are nearly always minor shunts in the aftermath of a serious accident. I do not want to turn up at an rtc and find I have more patients than necessary because people were trying to be helpful.
Also do not pay too much attention to reports of ‘blue lighting’ into hospital. Reporters frequently get that wrong and base it on seeing blue lights leaving the scene which may well just be used for safety.
You did exactly the right thing @MrsMcW

Babyroobs · 15/08/2018 11:10

I would have stopped ( in the safest place) but then I am a qualified Nurse and would have known how to give first aid. I could not have driven by knowing people may have been injured but may be different for someone else.

Themerrygoroundoflife · 15/08/2018 11:10

Please, please, please ring the police. My niece was seriously hurt in a hit and run accident and the police are so lacking in man power that we have had to ask the neighbourhood watch to put a sign up asking for any witnesses to the incident. The police were grateful for the help (we were careful not to put anything leading in the posters) as they didn’t even have the man power to go to the known address (caught on cctv) and breathalyse the driver within the 18 hours needed. It’s a dire situation.

GoatWithACoat · 15/08/2018 11:13

I don’t think it’s fair to call Join an idiot

I called him an idiot for calling the OP ‘selfish’ for putting her baby first. That’s idiotic.

JimWilsonBell · 15/08/2018 11:13

Babyroobs - me too but then we have a duty of care. However if we had a baby in the car it would be a very tough decision.

Ignoramusgiganticus · 15/08/2018 11:19

Please ring the police new and offer to be a witness. Do unto others as you would like done to you - or whatever that phrase is exactly.

bigsighall · 15/08/2018 11:22

If the traffic was still moving I wouldn’t stop (with or without baby). Motorways are very dangerous for stationary cars when still flowing. You did the right thing. For people saying op should have called 999, be assured when something like this happens, lots of people call 999! Do let the police know you were a witness tho.

RB68 · 15/08/2018 11:34

I would have taken the first opportunity to stop say at services and called through to 101 to say you had witnessed, make sure it had been reported and give the Police details.

Once home you should write up what you remember and if Police contact you you have it to hand - also its quite shocking to witness something like that so it is also a way of dealing with it.

WineAndTiramisu · 15/08/2018 11:49

You could have done so safely (using other cars as a barrier) and potentially saved a life. You child would have been fine in the car for a minute or two.

There's no such thing as safely getting out of a car on the motorway. Using other cars as a barrier? A magic barrier that stops a lorry at 60mph?! Her child wouldn't have been safe. Other people had stopped. She did the right thing

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 15/08/2018 11:52

Call the police; tell them you were a witness, see if they need you.

You can't change whether you stopped or not now.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread