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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Claire's should not be piercing the ears of a hysterical 13 month old whilst she is held down?

201 replies

ScottishG · 14/08/2018 00:56

I was in Claire's Accessories with dd today. A small child was crying hysterically. I looked around to see what was going on and was horrified to see a baby being forced to have her ears pierced. She was being firmly held on an adult 's knee (? mum) surrounded by 3 or 4 men who seemed to be with her and the assistant doing the piercing. Her ears were held by the adults whilst they were pierced. It was horrible. She was so upset it was distressing to see.
I have no clue why anyone would put their baby through this and think it is wrong to hurt your child in this way. However, I also felt Claire's were wrong to go ahead with the piercing when the child was so very distressed. Surely they could have refused to continue? I can't get the scene out of my head and Dr(13) was upset too.

OP posts:
imnotreally · 14/08/2018 01:02

That sounds wrong. Proper piercers usually won't do it until the child can ask.

Thing is with Claire's, once they've put the earrings in the gun you have to pay cos they're no longer sterile. Parents probably didnt want to lose out on their £50.

Shop assistant should have refused to do it tho.

Coodla · 14/08/2018 01:10

Witnessed something similar a few months ago and complained to them, was basically fobbed off and told their piercers are highly trained and it’s perfectly legal so 🤷‍♀️ My baby girl is absolutely perfect to me and she doesn’t need pierced ears to make her prettier, there’s no way I’d put her through that, it’s totally unnecessary. I think it should be done when they are AT LEAST old enough to ask.

Xxalisoncxx · 14/08/2018 01:16

My daughter had her ears pierced there for her 4th birthday, I know I know- wouldn’t go there again, she still at 9 loves her ear piercings. We were told that store policy is -that as soon as the child shows any distress, crying etc the piercing is stopped and basically- tough luck if you’ve paid. Policy has changed or there not following it.

Rebecca36 · 14/08/2018 01:19

It sounds like appalling abuse. No child should have piercings forced on them. Honestly, I despair of some people.

What next? Tattoos on two year olds?

Pissedoffneigh · 14/08/2018 01:20

Was told the same as above. If a child is nervous that is fine. If a child is hysterical and in distress they are meant to stop. For one it's not exactly safe to pierce a screaming moving child.

violets17 · 14/08/2018 01:24

Awful, DS1 asked when he was 9 for a pierced ear and I set a diktat no piercings or tattoos whilst under my roof. I'm reasonable in other areas Hmm

tworoundsofwaterplease · 14/08/2018 01:27

It's mad. Putting your child in pain, distress and fear for no reason other than you think they'd be improved by having shiny things stuck in them. I just can't get my head around it.

AjasLipstick · 14/08/2018 01:42

YANBU. I used to paint faces at a large attraction for my work and the AMOUNT of people who tried to make me paint screaming and frightened babies and toddlers was awful! They'd try to hold them down and beg me "PLEASE! Just do a nose and whiskers then??"

But I wouldn't. Not on a frightened child.

Showpony2 · 14/08/2018 01:52

Gawd, those parents were awful to hold her down like. Why?? That poor baby!

TillyTadpole · 14/08/2018 02:03

I have never understood why any parent would want to inflict pain on their baby. All babies are beautiful - no amount of shiny tat in their ears is going to make them any more beautiful.

Can someone explain why they have put their baby/toddler through this and for what benefit please? I truly don't understand the rationale behind it.

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 14/08/2018 02:04

It's fucking barbaric. Wtf does that these days to a screaming baby? I'd definitely complain to Claire's HO, OP. Maybe if enough people do so they'll rethink piercing children at all. You can't get a tattoo until you're 18 (I think, maybe it's 16?) so why the hell is it legal to punch holes in minors?

SleightOfMind · 14/08/2018 02:11

I’ve said this before on ear piercing threads but, just in case any one reading is thinking of doing it to their baby:
DM had mine done when I was 11months old and, as I’ve grown, the holes have gone lopsided.
I can’t wear anything dangly as it looks like my head is constantly on one side.

That’s apart from the obvious horror of piercing a small child unnecessarily.

dollybird76 · 14/08/2018 02:18

Ugh, that's awful! I'm with DirtyLittleSecret, you should have to be 16 or over to be allowed to punch holes in yourself. I got mine at Claires ages back and they got infected Sad...which would be really hard not to have happen on a toddler Confused...

ExploryRory · 14/08/2018 02:26

I know I’m being judgemental, but fuck it. If you feel the need to cause a baby pain and distress, you shouldn’t have one. Get a dress up doll instead.

IndominousRex · 14/08/2018 03:13

I think I would contact social services. Sounds horrendous.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 14/08/2018 03:41

I've witnessed this myself and found it very distressing, only because I was with my small child I didn't make a bugger fuss, really plays on my mind that I didn't intervern.
It's disgusting to do this to a child

Hundredacrewoods · 14/08/2018 03:45

How is it not assault? Surely parents are only allowed to consent to things that are in the child's interests, like medical treatment.

whywhywhywhywhyyy · 14/08/2018 03:46

Awful. For some bloody shiny bits in her ears. Stick some bloody stickers on if you must.

Claire's shouldn't really be piercing anybody full stop. Those guns can't be sterilised properly!

LeeValley2 · 14/08/2018 03:47

I don’t like it but sometimes it’s a cultural thing. What can you do about it? Parents make choices about bringing up their kids all the time, o

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 14/08/2018 03:55

YANBU. What where the parents and staff bloody thinking of. The poor child must have been absolutely terrified. Well we all know what the staff were thinking about, dont we. it starts with M and ends in Y
My DD got hers done when she was 7. She asked for them. However I did make her aware that it would hurt. Theyre putting a hole in both your ear lobes which is full of nerves of course it's going to hurt. She was happy to go a head. However forcing on a child sounds like abuse to me.
When they saw the child resisting they should have stopped. No one would have held down an adult.

Helloisitteaurlookingfor · 14/08/2018 04:00

I don’t like it but sometimes it’s a cultural thing

Cultural or not, a shop or anyone should not carry on when a child is this distressed. It's cosmetic, not medically required like pinning a child down for inoculations etc.

I mean, I'm extremely anti piercing babies ears anyway but excusing this level of distress as being cultural and so ok really takes the biscuit.

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 14/08/2018 04:34

My sister and I had it done aged about 8.
It was a cultural thing, but it was done in a hospital with local anaesthetic cream by a doctor. No traumatic memories and no pain.

SnuggyBuggy · 14/08/2018 04:43

I don't think it's right to do that to a 13 month old, it's not like vaccinations. I think I would ban it if it was up to me.

BrynhildurWhitemane · 14/08/2018 05:07

It's child abuse as far as I'm concerned. You wait until the child is old enough to ask, and be able to understand it hurts, and also how to care for the piercings.

DD was 10, well able to understand it.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 14/08/2018 05:23

How did you know that a random child who was a stranger to you was 13 months, not 12 or 14?! It doesn't make any difference - I agree that it was horrible and wrong - but it just stood out to me about this anecdote...

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