Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Claire's should not be piercing the ears of a hysterical 13 month old whilst she is held down?

201 replies

ScottishG · 14/08/2018 00:56

I was in Claire's Accessories with dd today. A small child was crying hysterically. I looked around to see what was going on and was horrified to see a baby being forced to have her ears pierced. She was being firmly held on an adult 's knee (? mum) surrounded by 3 or 4 men who seemed to be with her and the assistant doing the piercing. Her ears were held by the adults whilst they were pierced. It was horrible. She was so upset it was distressing to see.
I have no clue why anyone would put their baby through this and think it is wrong to hurt your child in this way. However, I also felt Claire's were wrong to go ahead with the piercing when the child was so very distressed. Surely they could have refused to continue? I can't get the scene out of my head and Dr(13) was upset too.

OP posts:
MyDirtyLittleSecret · 14/08/2018 16:33

tulipbee - why did you have your child's ears pierced at 2? I'm genuinely curious. What pressing need was there to have it done at 2 that wasn't there when she was a newborn (as is the norm for those who do it for cultural reasons) or wouldn't have waited until she was old enough to express a desire to have it done?

ManicUnicorn · 14/08/2018 16:34

Piercing should only be done by a professional piercer in a proper studio and with a needle. I had my ears done with a gun in a hairdressers when I was about eight and they are wonky and don't match. I had the second holes done in Claire's, and guess what they're not wonky as well. I had my nose and belly button done by proper piercers with needles, and OMG the difference! Actually what the girl who did my nose thinks of Claire's accessories is unrepeatable.

havingabadhairday · 14/08/2018 16:35

@Littledidsheknow

"And I do judge when I see babies and under 6's with pierced ears; it's not the child asking for it at that age"

I asked at four, and asked often enough that my parents decided I did really want my ears pierced. As I said before though, it was done with a needle not a gun and I was very pleased with it, which is my main memory of it. That and the cold numbing spray they used first.

LillyLollyLoLo · 14/08/2018 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

crazycatgal · 14/08/2018 16:40

Nobody should be getting piercings done at Claire's.

I stupidly got a 3rd lobe piercing done there last year, both ears became infected and the jewellery migrated into my ears. I went to a tattoo & piercing shop and got longer jewellery put in. I've still had problems.

Piercing a baby is ridiculous and wrong no matter where you go.

bonquiqui · 14/08/2018 16:44

@chipmunkcalling I had my upper ear pierced with a gun about 20 years ago. From memory, it cost about £6 and was done perched on a stool in the middle of a very unsterile busy market hall! Ah, the 90s...

Would be horrified by that now. Apparently gun piercings are very risky for upper ear especially with all the cartilage and the risk of it being damaged and misshapen. Sounds like me and your sister had a lucky escape!

ManicUnicorn · 14/08/2018 16:46

I was also asking for it done at about four or five , but my parents stood firm and eventually at eight they gave in. Even this would be too young for a professional piercer now, I think they insist on a mimimum age of about twelve. Tattoo studios are spotlessly clean and are inspected reguarly by the local council, it's also done privately and not in full view of the whole street. Why on earth would anyone choose Claire's over that?

Also I bet Claire's done offer the aftercare that a proper piercer does?

tulipbee · 14/08/2018 16:47

Mydirtylittlesecret - the reason I did her ears at 2 and not newborn was because I could t find anywhere in our town that would do it (proper piercer)
But yes I wanted them done after her vaccinations just as every women in my family had had them done.

And lilyloo no she didn't cry - why would she ? It doesn't hurt that young

LillyLollyLoLo · 14/08/2018 16:49

Tulipbee Of course it hurts that young! Do you genuinely believe that the under 2s can’t feel pain? Presume she didn’t cry at her vaccinations or when she falls over then? Jesus Christ I do despair.

SusannahL · 14/08/2018 16:50

'It doesn't hurt that young'

Really?????

Nicknacky · 14/08/2018 16:50

tulipOf course it hurt! Do you think young kids don’t feel pain?!

JacquesHammer · 14/08/2018 16:52

It doesn't hurt that young

That’s utter bullshit.

But keep telling yourself that to justify the fact you’ve hurt your kid for your own pleasure.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 14/08/2018 16:53

It doesn't hurt that young

I cannot believe anyone actually listens to, believes and repeats this mindless rubbish and uses it as an excuse to punch holes in their 2 year old.

I have zero tolerance when it comes to piercing babies' ears - it's absolutely appalling.

Littledidsheknow · 14/08/2018 16:56

havingabadhairday

You conveniently left off the second part of what I said:

...and even if it were, they're not old enough to understand or appreciate the possible problems

So yes, I do realise that 4 year olds can ask, but they'll be unaware of the pain, possible infections, or the possibility of wonky earlobes or scarring in the future.
They may also play with them, which may also present a danger of infection or damage.

Eliza9917 · 14/08/2018 16:59

MrsMaryMooFace Tue 14-Aug-18 08:02:01
I do not agree with piercing a babies ears AT ALL but I'm just wondering, if the Claire's staff member felt very under pressure/threatened if there were "3 or 4 men" holding the baby down?

OP, were these people a particular 'race'?

RomanyRoots · 14/08/2018 17:05

if parents are stupid enough to pin down their own child, you can't blame the staff.
They are doing what they are told to, it's their job.
if you think it's cruel, have a go at the parents, not some poor sod doing their min wage paid job.
What if the parents complained that the assistant wouldn't do it, they could be out of a job.

Menopawsal · 14/08/2018 17:06

Culture or not, if the child's a) not able to understand what's going on and consent, and b) not able to take care of the wound themselves (ie salt water soaks and cleaning), then maybe it's not a good idea to purposely injure them because of parental vanity?

tulipbee · 14/08/2018 17:07

No she didn't cry ! I explained it would be a little prick and she was fine. Not a single tear.
And no she didn't cry when she had her vaccinations.

On the other hand she's cried hysterically because she lost her star sticker from nursery today

And actually I am not justifying my actions to anyone. I'm 100% happy with my decision and I don't care what anyone thinks.

And for the record I am not a certain class as another poster said. I am a different culture but that doesn't make me another class

RomanyRoots · 14/08/2018 17:09

What culture is it that pierces babies ears?
A lot of people think that it's following some culture but it's just the mum (usually) that insists it's done.

JacquesHammer · 14/08/2018 17:13

I am a different culture but that doesn't make me another class

Just because a practice is cultural doesn’t mean it isn’t abusive.

tulipbee · 14/08/2018 17:14

I'm from a South American country and is our custom. All the women in my family were done as babies and it's part of our custom to have gifts of earings for new borns and when they are baptised

chipmunkcalling · 14/08/2018 17:15

@imnotreally and @bonquiqui I told her that, but it was after the fact, she had it done in May and its still tender. I don't k ow how much she paid, but I've said that the next time she wants a piercing to go to one of the 5 tattoo/piercing shops in town.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 14/08/2018 17:18

tulipbee

Do you genuinely believe that 2 year old don't feel pain? Or do you choose to believe that they conveniently don't feel it in the part of the body you fancy piercing?

I'm 100% happy with my decision and I don't care what anyone thinks

And that includes your daughter. You didn't give her a choice did you? You don't care what she thinks either.

I think it's absolutely disgraceful to treat children like this - in any circumstances.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 14/08/2018 17:24

I'm from a South American country and is our custom. All the women in my family were done as babies and it's part of our custom to have gifts of earings for new borns and when they are baptised

I have friends in the UK from Panama, Nicaragua, Ecuador and Argentina. Each of them have families with DDs of different ages from a few months to teenagers now.

They have enough sense to realise that whatever their grandmother's did, it IS abuse to punch holes in a baby for no reason whatsoever.

'My family have always done it' is a crap excuse. It's YOUR child and YOUR responsibility to treat her with respect.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 14/08/2018 17:27

I'm hiding this thread for now as it makes me so angry that people treat babies like this and reel off the lamest excuses for it.

'Doesn't hurt at that age.' Give me strength.

Swipe left for the next trending thread