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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Claire's should not be piercing the ears of a hysterical 13 month old whilst she is held down?

201 replies

ScottishG · 14/08/2018 00:56

I was in Claire's Accessories with dd today. A small child was crying hysterically. I looked around to see what was going on and was horrified to see a baby being forced to have her ears pierced. She was being firmly held on an adult 's knee (? mum) surrounded by 3 or 4 men who seemed to be with her and the assistant doing the piercing. Her ears were held by the adults whilst they were pierced. It was horrible. She was so upset it was distressing to see.
I have no clue why anyone would put their baby through this and think it is wrong to hurt your child in this way. However, I also felt Claire's were wrong to go ahead with the piercing when the child was so very distressed. Surely they could have refused to continue? I can't get the scene out of my head and Dr(13) was upset too.

OP posts:
wrenika · 14/08/2018 11:38

I think a baby would bawl when being restrained regardless of what you're doing to it. The piercing is over and done with pretty quickly - surely no worse than an injection or similar.

If we're going to say it's abuse, then surely circumcision is abuse? I don't think people should be allowed to have their child circumcised when there is no medical need, but that doesn't stop it happening and that has far more implications and pain associated with it than a little piercing!

RoseWhiteTips · 14/08/2018 11:41

I think piercing the ears of babies or very young children is awful. No nattter who does it.

Nicknacky · 14/08/2018 11:44

wrenika No child ever died from not getting their ears pierced.

SnuggyBuggy · 14/08/2018 11:45

It's not as though the baby is going to appreciate being able to wear earrings.

babycham75 · 14/08/2018 11:45

Should we post this thread on their twitter feed?

JynxaSmoochum · 14/08/2018 11:57

I had a Saturday job in Claire's many years ago. We were allowed to refuse if a young child was very distressed. Fortunately I was never put in that position. The youngest we used to get was from about 3 but that was rare.

I did refuse to re-pierce a lady's ears because she had a large amount of scar tissue from a torn ear lobe. The point at which I felt safe to pierce from was quite high around her ear and would have looked ridiculous. I called my manager over for a second opinion and she backed me up.

The shop was new and they were growing rapidly around the UK. I didn't realise that I would need to be trained to pierce ears until quite late in the interview so blithely carried on with a smile and got the job a minute later. I'd only had my ears pireced a few months earlier!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 14/08/2018 12:00

£50? Jesus, I'm old. I think I paid a fiver for mine. It was that or get them done with a needle and a fishfinger held to the ear as an ice pack...

Lynne1Cat · 14/08/2018 12:00

That's absolutely disgusting - both by the adults and by the one doing the piercing. It is tantamount to child abuse really.

runningkeenster · 14/08/2018 12:00

I know I’m being judgemental, but fuck it. If you feel the need to cause a baby pain and distress, you shouldn’t have one. Get a dress up doll instead

This.

And "it's a cultural thing" - yeah, so's FGM. We used to think it was ok to hit children. On the whole, we don't anymore.

I totally agree it should be illegal until a child is able to consent. 12? 14? No younger.

Smoothsailing9 · 14/08/2018 12:03

I was in a Claire’s Accessories a couple of years ago and saw a very young child - maybe about a year old - having her ears pierced. Now I am reasonably ambivalent about piercings on kids, but I did feel uncomfortable with the fact that it was being done in a messy, busy shop and I do remember the parents seemed to think it was quite funny when the baby screamed her head off afterwards. If you are going to do this to your child, at least have it done in a salon or somewhere cleaner and calmer.

I had my ears pierced at 13 at a friends’s house by her mum who was a nurse!

katielouise3 · 14/08/2018 12:04

@ScottishG FFS that is awful. Of course YANBU!

I think I would be reporting them to trading standards.

No child should have their ears pierced at that age. 7 should be the youngest IMO.

It's only chavs who get their kids ears pierced when they're a baby or toddler. And it sounds like a chav parent anyway, with the fact she let it go on, even though the baby was screaming. It should not have been allowed at ALL.

This needs reporting. I would slag them off on twitter too. Companies HATE that!

SandAndSea · 14/08/2018 12:08

How is this still allowed?

OP, please ring the NSPCC and report what you saw.

Hidingtonothing · 14/08/2018 12:10

I genuinely don’t understand parents who do this, how can they knowingly and deliberately inflict pain on their child when it’s totally unnecessary?

JacquesHammer · 14/08/2018 12:10

The piercing is over and done with pretty quickly - surely no worse than an injection or similar

Injections have value. Piercings do not.

How many times does it need to be said, do not get any piercings done at Claires, they are NOT trained adequately. Makes me feel ill whenever I walk past a Claires and see a "piercing station"

Yes this.

Tallzarathegreat · 14/08/2018 12:13

Piercings should be illegal AT LEAST until the child is old enough to ask and actually understand that it's going to hurt. Age 5 absolute minimum really but personally I think 8-10. Better still never.

Why do people spout bollox about it being cultural? Just because something is cultural doesn't make it any less cruel.

I feel the same about circumcision too.

It's all just unnecessary mutilation and nobody should be allowed to chop bits off/stick bits into their child unless there's a medical reason.

ScattyCharly · 14/08/2018 12:20

It is cultural, in our own culture actually. Because if you think about it logically, it’s pretty odd to puncture permanent holes in children for the sake of sticking some metal through them to “improve” their appearance. We get cross about other things in other cultures but are totally unable to see it objectively when it’s our culture.

No child needs any kind of piercing and all piercings should be illegal on under 16s.

KnockMeDown · 14/08/2018 12:22

This is slightly different, but last time I took DD to have her hair trimmed at a hair salon specifically for kids, there was a little boy having his hair cut. He was about 2. He was hysterical about it, crying, wriggling, very unhappy. He was held on his mum's lap and they just carried on, totally ignoring his distress. I felt very uncomfortable about it. All for a hair cut. Sad

Tillytrotter123 · 14/08/2018 12:23

It's absolutely vile and cruel. It broke my heart watching my DD have her vaccinations! If I ware to pierce my rabbits ears it's a crime under the Animal Welface Act (rightly so) so why on earth can we do it to babies. This really annoys and upsets me, poor baby.

Tillytrotter123 · 14/08/2018 12:24

*were to

imnotreally · 14/08/2018 12:25

@KnockMeDown that's completely different. A lot of sen kids have issues around getting their hair cut and find it very distressing. However you can either have half an hour very distressing every couple of months or an hour every day trying to get their hair brushed or they go around looking like hobos. A very real choice sen parents make on a daily basis.

imnotreally · 14/08/2018 12:33

@Horrordoeurvres I recently faced this dilemma. 7yo wanted her ears pierced. She'd watched youtubers get it done and wanted the whole Claire's experience, tho personally I'd get pierced at a tattoo parlour. Unfortunately I've yet to find a tattoo parlour that wouldn't be absolutely terrifying to a 7yo - recently had a piercing changed and the piercer had her eyeballs tattooed and studs below each eye. Like in the lower eyelid. I don't have enough experience of tattoo parlours and piercing studios, I've been to two and wouldn't take my 7yo to either. I have poor health and two kids with SN so I couldn't go and do a tour of all the piercing studios in the area. Everyone I asked who's had their kids ears pierced said Claire's. So we went to Claire's. If I could have found a different way to do it I would but tbh I was swayed a lot by dd desperately wanting the Claire's experience and I didn't have a better alternative to offer.

Tbf I was very impressed with the Claire's we went to. Everything was fully disinfected between clients including the chair, and it was a woman doing it not a teenager. We've had no problems with aftercare etc so I'm happy in this instance we made the right choice.

WillowRose79 · 14/08/2018 12:35

I hate seeing babies with their ears pierced it just looks awful. I don't think they should be allowed until old enough to ask- would they be able to get a tattoo? Think it's barbaric that it's still allowed tbh

JacquesHammer · 14/08/2018 12:35

Unfortunately I've yet to find a tattoo parlour that wouldn't be absolutely terrifying to a 7yo - recently had a piercing changed and the piercer had her eyeballs tattooed and studs below each eye. Like in the lower eyelid. I don't have enough experience of tattoo parlours and piercing studios, I've been to two and wouldn't take my 7yo to either. I have poor health and two kids with SN so I couldn't go and do a tour of all the piercing studios in the area. Everyone I asked who's had their kids ears pierced said Claire's. So we went to Claire's. If I could have found a different way to do it I would but tbh I was swayed a lot by dd desperately wanting the Claire's experience and I didn't have a better alternative to offer

With respect you had an alternative. You chose an option that has severe risks over "big nasty piercers look scary"

You also had the option of "no".

NameChangedNow · 14/08/2018 12:37

Meh. I can't get that worked up about it to be honest.

Nicknacky · 14/08/2018 12:38

imnotreally I think in that circumstance I would tell my daughter no if she is so scared of how people look. Then when she was older I would take her to a reputable place, which wouldn’t be Claire’s.