Butch as a Mum

[Dani010186]

I am a butch looking lesbian and my wife and I want to start a family, unfortunately so far my wife has it been sucesseful and I’m willing to try but am scared of the reactions I may get . What’s everyone’s view or have u yourself been in this position. Advice please x

Why does you being butch matter? You are a woman, so you have a womb and can carry a child if you want a baby then do it!

Not all women are girly girls are they regardless of if they are a lesbian or not and let’s face it someone is always going to judge you for something because some people have terribly boring sad little lives

Oh, and at the time I lived in Cambridge, which is one of the most overtly gay-friendly cities in the UK, so no, it wasn't the back of beyond.

To be perfectly honest with you this wouldn't have crossed my mind until you brought it up. I suppose some people connect motherhood with femininity and assume that butch women would want to distance the selves from that. I don't think it's unreasonable to feel uneasy about how people react. Pregnancy seem to give people a carte Blanche to say the most incredibly rude and insensitive things. Don't miss out on being mothers because if what other people may say though. Good luck

Such a load of bollocks on this thread.

OP if you're still listening then I hear your worries. I've butch lesbian friends who have been in this position and am also reasonably butch myself but not gay.

My experience is that you'll get looks regardless. People are interested in pregnancy and it will always garner attention. Some of the attention you'll get will be because you're a butch woman carrying a baby, especially if you're frequently misgendered currently. However, not all the attention will be, and it will be hard to figure out what is abd isn't because you're butch.

Maternity clothes imo are very femme. Much more femme than I'm comfortable with personally. Everything has a fucking bow on it, or some other cutesy design. Going up one or two sizes in your usual jeans/shirt/whatever combo can really help with this.

Body changes can be a challenge to get your head around, particularly with breastfeeding. Don't let this put you off. It's great for you and baby if you can manage it and you don't need special clothes for it beyond a good nursing bra (bravissimo do great non-fussy ones). By wearing a vest under your usual attire, you can pull your top up and your vest down to expose your breast to feed. No need for special nursing clothes at all, which again are all a bit...frilly shudders

Good luck OP

Erm ... good!

Come on, it's kinda the point of the thread, isn't it?! It is a bit odd to come on and do the whole 'we're so accepting here' and then totally miss the point that the OP is talking about being butch.

Either you don't realise not all lesbians are butch (and not all lesbian couples are butch/femme), or you just think her point is so unimportant, you'll conflate butchness with sexuality.

Either way, it tends to prove the point that MN (or parts of it) are hardly as liberal or broad-minded as posters might like to think.

I would think nothing at all except that you were a mum getting on with your every day mumming?

I seem to draw butch women to me, so we’d probably get on.