Only on MN ...

[cathf]

Not a TAAT as such, but inspired by a response on a thread running at the moment.
It got me thinking of the differences between MN and my RL friends and acquaintances, and things that are accepted wisdom on MN that no-one I know in real life cares about at all.
I will start off:

1. Little girls who wear pink clothing, and gendered clothing in general;
2. Scented sanitary towels;
3. Fruit Shoots
4. People cuddling/touching/talking to your child;

The amount of threads and angst over these topics is staggering, yet no-one I know would even think any of the above were worth discussing, never mind getting worked up about. Anymore?

The one that makes me laugh is when the husbands do something stupid like maybe being in a mood or not helping out around the house and mn be like leave him he’s abusive for the littlest things like day to day stuff mn expect men to be like the husband from this is us or else he’s abusive

Has anyone mentioned that there used to be a thing that was really only on mumsnet? If anyone mentioned the word ‘spider’ there used to immediately be several posters who came along and told them off and insisted they use the word ‘loofah’ instead
That’s something that I have never seen anywhere else, either on line, or irl.
(Not rtf, sorry if this has already been mentioned)

Agree about leaving dh, like it's the easiest thing in the world, for him daring to have faults.

Only on MN, casting your kids adrift at the stroke of midnight when they turn 18. In RL people still help and support their kids until they're 100.

Scented sanitary towels and panty-liners are completely unnecessary and, in my experience, cause irritation and itching. They're horrible! The so-called "perfume" smells like lavatory cleaner - and it's such a powerful smell, presumably intended to be strong enough to mask all other smells.

Thank god I no longer need to wear any kind of San-Pro! It was difficult enough a few years ago, trying to find non scented panty-liners in the supermarket; I gather that it's even worse now!

Towards the end of my liner-wearing days, I used to source them from Amazon, as most of the local shops only stocked the hideously smelly ones - and I had no wish to walk around wafting the aroma of public lavatories around wherever I went, not to mention also getting sore and itchy!

I really cannot see why anyone would actually choose the scented type over the non-scented.

^ "san pro" a term only found on MN!

Nobody in real life uses it, they just say towels or tampons or whatever.

The "cool wives" comment is just a way to try to shut down discussion. Here's my opinion, and if you dare to try to disagree with it, you're in the cool wives group, so don't bother.

The "only on Mumsnet" stuff I read is people sending their sons to school in princess dresses, and nobody apparently bats an eyelid. Also, the bizarre names suggested for babies. I'm looking for a name for a brother for Ptolemy - any ideas?

It doesn't happen that much, but sometimes you get bizarre suggestions that if someone is in a remotely fortunate position, they bring themselves back down to earth by donating the difference to a good cause. There was one thread where the OP was living with her parents to save up for a deposit for a house. She was soundly bollocked, and one person proposed that she give the equivalent of what her rent would be to a homeless charity.

You can get scented sanitary pads? I had a hysterectomy over a decade ago and I always sling the same ones in the trolley for my daughter so had no idea. What kind of moron invented them, that's just asking for itchy Fannys everywhere 😂

Anyway only on MN,
Does everyone had tens of millions in savings and people can't understand that some people actually can't save because they're being wasteful with their money, putting a roof over their heads and feeding themselves.
Agree on the ASD diagnosis from people. Sometimes it's more likely that the child is just a little shit because mummy and daddy have been freestyle parenting and the child has never been given boundaries. ITS FUCKING HARD GETTING AN ASD DIAGNOSIS 🤦🏻‍♀️

“Log it with the police"
I have said this sooooo many times, in my job, with the police!

Oh another one only on mn you’re really selfish for wanting people to remember your birthday, or to expect a present from your partner.

I have a relative who doesn’t buy presents and doesn’t expect any, but she still gives and receives presents from/to her husband.

I use scented panty liners in pregnancy because the smell of my excessive discharge makes me gip. I don’t have an infection and it probably smells how it usually does but my pregnancy nose can’t handle it. No itchy vag here .

Fruit shoots are no added sugar nowadays, pretty certain of it anyway...

LTB is the easiest thing in the world on MN and everyone has a cleaner... it’s always a viable financial option for everyone as well. If anyone says their house is untidy and asks for tips on how to keep on top of it it’s “get a cleaner”. Amazing, I know, but not everyone can afford a cleaner...

Parking and driveway threads always get me. There’s always someone really worried about something most people would forget after a minute or so.

Mooncups. I don’t know anyone that uses one irl.

Pinkvoid think about all of the women you know and meet in everyday life.

How the hell do you know what sanitary protection they all use?

Only on MN must you NEVER have direct contact with your in-laws - they are ‘his family’, even if you’ve been married 15 years.

IRL:

X: Would you and Bob like to come for dinner tomorrow?
Y: That would be lovely, thanks! Let me just ring my mother-in-law to see if she can babysit.
X: Okay, great!

On MN:

X: Would you and Bob like to come for dinner tomorrow?
Y: That would be lovely, thanks! Let me just ring my mother-in-law to see if she can babysit.
X: YOU’RE going to ring HIS mother?! Why do YOU have to do it - is he incapable of phoning his own mother?!
Y: Of course not; but I may as well just do it now.
X: Why is it your job to sort this out?! Why can’t he do it?
Y: He can - but I’d have to ring him to ask him to ring her. Why don’t I just ring her now?
X: Urgh, ‘wife work’! This makes me so mad!!!

On MN:

I’m giggling at this, but I do really hate scented pads - smells like an enthusiastically fabreezed abattoir; I’m sure they make the blood smell more bloody.

Laying out outfits the night before is another thing I see on here. Where?? The only space I have to lay out an outfit is my bed which obviously I'll be asleep in. I just open my wardrobe in the morning and put on the first thing I see. Surely this is normal. I don't have enough space or enough clothes for laying out outfits.

I have read unto page no 5...

What I think is important to remember here is on MN you will see people from many aspects of life and different social circles (yes we still have them even if people want to pretend we do not)

So personally I would say I go under white middleclass and within that I have

Discussed sanitary pads with several friends. I find it odd you wouldn't do this why not? Both scented and non scented.

Also discussed moon cup (I know 4 friends who have used or are using one - I Own one did not get on with it)

I AM the mother who does those lunch boxes that other posters go on about doesn't exist. I also think this has to do with why my children are not fussy eaters. I have never provided a lunchbox with a sandwich pack of crisps and biscuit. Fruit/wraps/houmous/dips/vegetables were the norm in my children's lunch boxes.. Also the norm in 3-6 of my friends when children were at primary (yes we discussed this) HT at the last primary we were at told me on more than one occasion she would happily eat the lunch boxes my children showed up with...

Little girls who wear pink clothing, and gendered clothing in general;

I had 1 friend who was hyper anti this and anti barbie.. When their dd1 was 4 they caved in and result was pink and barbie explosion. The friends who were not that bothered had far less ... Made me chuckle however when they were on their barbie/pink ban I accepted that and did not purchase this for their child..

Fruit Shoots:

meh I have bought them for my children they don't drink them so we stopped... I don't care what others make their child drink however I think we should teach our children to drink plain water above anything else...

People cuddling/touching/talking to your child;

I don't get this.. Nor do I get the whole "time for us as a family" One of my fondest memories of dd1's birth was handing FIL his first granddaughter to hold. The gentle manner he held her and the utter adoration that appeared on his face (and remained there when ever she was around for the rest of his life) is a priceless moment in time for me.. with dd2 sitting on the sofa 6 hours after her birth (homebirth) with MIL next to me cuddling her.. My closest friend cuddling her 3 hours old telling me with awe in her voice " this is only the 2nd time Ive held this new a baby" (she had 1 child then herself)

They to me were moments I would not want to be without. I will say that I have not suffered from people who overstayed their welcome. Also dh was well able to say " I think Enko is getting tired now" in the early days if needed (I don't recall him needing to but I know he would have)

However I am a firm believer in the " it takes a village to raise a child) I think this starts from word go. I have 4 well attached and balanced children so even though someone other bar dh and I held them in those early days they still managed to grow up ok...

However again if friends said this is what they wanted.. I would think them weird but still go along with it. Its not going to make a big deal for me really...

@SnugglySnerd
Laying out outfits the night before is another thing I see on here. Where??

I used to lay the uniforms out the day before around the dinner table. over their chairs.. I also used to set up breakfast this way so all the kids needed to get was milk/juice and it down to eat.

@ShotsFired
"san pro" a term only found on MN!

Nobody in real life uses it, they just say towels or tampons or whatever.

Sorry I use it in rl regularly I work in a supermarket its how we refer to that area. If you just said towels or tampons plenty of the young ones would ONLY get the towels or the tampons. So they get told " get the sanpro cage and work it." Heck some of them would go get actual fabric towels then come ask me where on the shelf I wanted them to put them as there is " no room"

I also ask my daughters " do we need any more San pro stuff?"

My daughter will be 47 next week. I have still not been forgiven for my no pink, no Barbies rule inthe 70s. She felt deprived.

I presume in real life you also don't refer to your family as DH, DC, MIL, SIL and probably use their actual names? 😂

Phoning your mil for an ordinary dinner invite isn't and has never been referred to as wifework.

It's stuff like remembering birthdays, doing tricky emotional labour, acting as a go between.

Only on MN:

‘I’ve just had a baby and ALL that comes with that and DH is wanking to porn... loads of it in his history and it makes me feel like shit.’

Herald the ‘Its cool and totally normal for your DH to wank to underage women being abused, regardless if it makes you feel like shit OP because poor DH has needs which need to be met AND (here’s the clincher) it’s only a screen! It’s not RL! What’s your problem???’

So, using the ‘I’m down with porn’ brigade’s logic, if your childminder is caught with loads of underage porn on their PC, you’d be cool with this because it’s ‘just a screen’... it’s not RL. If your neighbour had a history of viewing videos on ‘how to axe people to death in their sleep’, no problem there because it’s just a screen.

Phoning your mil for an ordinary dinner invite isn't and has never been referred to as wife work.

Oh thank you! As you've clearly read every single thread ever posted on MN you’ve saved me the bother!

The word "narcissist" used to describe someone who has been a bit of a pain in the arse. Also never heard someone use the phrase "he/she is entitled".

The polarised response to schools. It appears to me that the consensus is either call the police/headteacher/designated safeguarding lead/Ofsted/governors OR that teachers have enough to deal with, the child has probably lied, that the MNetter shouldn't be "that parent" and that they just need to teach their child some resilience.

I know my latter point probably more accurately reflects the wide opinion of real life, but I don't often see the more moderate advice of just calling a child's head of year, class teacher or form tutor if in any doubt.

Blimey. What weirdo berated you for ringing your mil? Has it happened more than once?