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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog sitting, is she a CF?

204 replies

Fucketbucket13 · 13/08/2018 18:46

My cousin asked me to dog sit months ago. I said I guess I would but I'm fairly busy. She said her mum would help out walking the dog so I agreed.
I live with my mum while I save for a deposit on a house so I thought it'd be a chance to have a break from each other even though we get on well. I'll still pay her rent as it is cheap and she still has all the bills to pay.

I've just turned up at my cousin's and she's left me a loaf of bread, a pint of milk and a bloody box of chocolates to eat. Nothing else no cheese, ham, salad stuff, potatoes nothing. The fridge is empty as is the freezer. I'm bloody annoyed I'm going to have to go out and buy a weeks worth of food so while saving my cousin over a £100 it's going to cost me at least £50!

Àibu to expect if you're dog sitting for free they should at least leave you food? She's even told me where the vac is so I'll clean for her!

OP posts:
buttybuttybutthole · 13/08/2018 20:40

On second thoughts ,aunt she IS doing OP a favour by letting her stay in her house, to get space from her Mum? A house, space and freedom. But OP is used to being looked after by Mum and is slightly entitled?

mydogisthebest · 13/08/2018 20:42

Fireworks, yes and saving the dog owners a lot of money!

Petalflowers · 13/08/2018 20:42

I think that’s cheeky. I would leave basics such as bread, milk, eggs, cheese, ham etc as well as food such as pizza etc, and a general,invite to help yourself to,food.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/08/2018 20:42

I can’t believe the amount of posters, who think you’re being unreasonable. You’re actually out of pocket for doing your cousin a favour. How can that be fair?

huggybear · 13/08/2018 20:43

@throwawayagain

I can understand that must have been good for you. But everyone is different, I'd hate to be away from my own (crappy) bed 😂

throwawayagain · 13/08/2018 20:43

@KittyHawke80 - I have sat on a jury, and I am a taxpayer. I probably paid for my own food!
Regardless, they wouldn't let me out for a pizza during deliberations. The arses! The food wasn't exactly to my specifications (curling sandwiches), but the cases were very interesting nonetheless.

I would have loved an a adjournment for some nice Vietnamese food though! Grin

IceCreamFace · 13/08/2018 20:44

Assuming you live in the same neighbourhood she may have thought it wouldn't be a big deal for you to dog sit, just sleep at hers rather than your mum's and take the dog for a walk a few times. I don't think I'd get a full food shop in - how would I know what you want to eat (or whether you've got plans to eat out). I would however make sure you had a bottle of wine, box of chocolates and some cash to get a nice take away in at the very least.

throwawayagain · 13/08/2018 20:47

@huggybear - the bed was LOVELY because:
A) it smelled of Lenor.
B) my ex couldn't run into the bedroom at 2am, threatening to cut up my shoes!

Seriously. I had 12 months of that shit. He did NOT cut up the shoes, but neither did he smell of Lenor!

OP's Mum probably doesn't do that, but who knows? GrinGrin

LeeRoar · 13/08/2018 20:50

I would say it's unreasonable to expect it if your cousin hasn't said, "I'll make sure the kitchen is full!" when asking you to dog sit.

However, this thread has definitely made me think. Whenever I get in a cat sitter (usually a mate or my brother) I have a fully stocked fridge and a bottle of wine on top of payment. Perhaps I'm being too nice? Blush

BoomBoomsCousin · 13/08/2018 21:02

"Any of you ever sat on a jury? Why should the taxpayer pay for your lunch?"

Because you are required to be away from cooking and food prep facilities. If you are on a jury over several days and go home at night the taxpayer does not pay for your dinner because you are able to make it at the cost you normally would. Though I have to say, jury food is atrocious and I'd rather be able to go out and buy my own.

Original poster
Fucketbucket13 · 13/08/2018 21:02

Just a few points. I am looking after the dog and walking her morning, lunch & t'time /evening. I'll have to get up an hour earlier to walk her and don't I'll have to come back some lunchtimes too.

Yes I have a house to myself for a week with a gorgeous dog who never stops fussing.

I will offer her money for her bills as now I realise I am the CF after all.
I also miss my mummykins Grin

I think I am just way too generous a person. I will always leave my sitter food, although they are staying in my house that is my choice to save me a fortune on a cattery and the stress that it causes my cats.

OP posts:
TotHappy · 13/08/2018 21:04

Wouldn't occur to me to either stock up or offer to pay a family member for this tbh. The reason I would ask then is because I can't afford cattery fees. So I would ask then if they fancied staying in the house for a week and of course help themselves to anything (I wouldn't empty the fridge on purpose!). And if they didn't want to, they could say no. I never understand posters on mumsnet who sat things like 'you're doing her a favour, she should xyz!' It's not a favour if you have to give them some compensation. What you do is just do similar favours for them when occasion demands.

FishingIsNotASport · 13/08/2018 21:05

I would be so grateful if someone came and dog sat for me while we're away, that I would stock up on lovely food and booze to show my gratitude. YANBU. People saying they don't leave stuff for their house/dog sitter - BUT YOU'RE PAYNG THEM!!

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/08/2018 21:06

Why on earth would you leave her money for bills? Do you want to pay her to go away?

Petalflowers · 13/08/2018 21:08

I’m a bit puzzled by leaving money for bills. You don’t need to do,that.

userofthiswebsite · 13/08/2018 21:08

I can't believe how many ill-mannered posters there are on this thread, who'd happily leave an empty fridge for someone who is doing them a favour and looking after their house/dog for them for a week for free.

SevernWye · 13/08/2018 21:08

I got the impression from your original post that her mum would be doing most of the dog walking and you were quite happy to be chilling out on your own for a change.

If you are actually having to walk the dog 3 times a day and it is inconveniencing you, that is unreasonable.

Original poster
Fucketbucket13 · 13/08/2018 21:16

Mummyoflittledragon A pp mentioned she was doing me a favour and I should be paying her. Unless I got it wrong. I've only quickly read the replies as I've just got in

OP posts:
KittyHawke80 · 13/08/2018 21:16

Courts have canteens. Nothing to stop jurors ordering from those. And paying.

KittyHawke80 · 13/08/2018 21:18

Some wag said ‘I wouldn’t give her a penny for bills’ implying that the OP should be grateful that a deduction wasn’t made from her non-existent fee, to keep the lights on.

runbeerrunbeer · 13/08/2018 21:22

I think these sort of threads will always draw a complete difference of opinion dependant on experiences. I used to cat sit for a woman I worked with when I was late teens early 20s for a couple of weeks whilst she was away. It meant I had some space away from my parents in a lovely house and her cats didn't need the stress of boarding.

I think she'd usually leave a bottle of wine/ chocs out but I don't recall the fridge and cupboards being stacked. I always cleaned up after myself and left it as spotless as she left it. Maybe cousin just thought it'd be a win win for you both. I doubt she realised you'd already paid for food at your mums. Most adults living at home buy their own.

TheMonkeyMummy · 13/08/2018 21:36

I don't get why anyone would expect to not have to buy their own food?

Original poster
Fucketbucket13 · 13/08/2018 21:36

Cat sitting is completely different to dog sitting. cats are very Independant whereas dogs need walking three to four times a day it's very tying.

OP posts:
TheMonkeyMummy · 13/08/2018 21:46

Well, it wouldn't occur to me to ask for money for bills in this instance, but equally it wouldn't occur to me to leave money for a weekly food shop. If you didn't want to do it, you could have just said no, equally you could have discussed terms and conditions in the lead up to her holiday. I have done this before for friends and been delighted to receive a bottle of wine.

You did lose me at the Hoover comment. Surely everyone would want to know where that was to clean up after themselves, not as a cleaning hint. Did she ask you to do a full clean? I can't quite understand how you have made this leap, it does make you come across as entitled.

Booboostwo · 13/08/2018 21:50

Professional pet sitters and doing family a favour are not comparable though

Why not? If the cousin had had to employ a pet sitter she would have had to pay a fee plus a food allowance. The OP is helping out so doesn’t expect to be paid but why shouldnt she expect to eat? The pet sitter doesn’t have to own utilities either, so would you expect the OP to pay a week’s share of the cousin’s utilities as well?