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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog sitting, is she a CF?

204 replies

Fucketbucket13 · 13/08/2018 18:46

My cousin asked me to dog sit months ago. I said I guess I would but I'm fairly busy. She said her mum would help out walking the dog so I agreed.
I live with my mum while I save for a deposit on a house so I thought it'd be a chance to have a break from each other even though we get on well. I'll still pay her rent as it is cheap and she still has all the bills to pay.

I've just turned up at my cousin's and she's left me a loaf of bread, a pint of milk and a bloody box of chocolates to eat. Nothing else no cheese, ham, salad stuff, potatoes nothing. The fridge is empty as is the freezer. I'm bloody annoyed I'm going to have to go out and buy a weeks worth of food so while saving my cousin over a £100 it's going to cost me at least £50!

Àibu to expect if you're dog sitting for free they should at least leave you food? She's even told me where the vac is so I'll clean for her!

OP posts:
HotblackDesiatoto · 13/08/2018 20:00

If you'll be out of pocket for one week buying your own food, you must let your ma buy all your food normally?

Hmm
buttybuttybutthole · 13/08/2018 20:01

I think she should pay you for looking after the dog and you buy your own food.

Allthewaves · 13/08/2018 20:02

I wouldn't have left food. I would have gave you money for dog sitting

Allyg1185 · 13/08/2018 20:05

Fair enough I don't have a dog but i didn't realise you had to feed the sitter at all!Shock

Tartyflette · 13/08/2018 20:07

It's not unreasonable to think that the house owner should leave the basics for, say, one evening meal and breakfast the next morning so the person who is doing you the favour doesn't have to go out and shop immediately.
I'd leave tea/coffee, milk, pkt biscuits, jam or marmalade, butter, bread, cheese and ham or bacon. There would be rice, pasta, tinned tomatoes, beans, tuna etc in the cupboard to which they could help themselves.
Neighbours who look after our four hens for us while we're away, (involves a 5 minute visit twice a day) collect and keep the eggs and can help themselves to any fruit or veg from the garden.

dudsville · 13/08/2018 20:09

We pay people to sit and we leave wine. I did at first but frozen pizzas, etc., but without asking you can't know what people will eat, and I was being generous providing alcohol when I was already paying. If I ever have someone sit for free, say a friend or family, I would go out of my way to provide food they like and/or leave money for food. To not do so is to act as if the sitter is benefiting by looking after my dog and home. Did she think you'd benefit similarly perhaps?

BuntyII · 13/08/2018 20:09

Maybe not a full shop but she could have left you a pizza and some bacon and £20 for a takeaway. But then you did say she's skint so maybe she couldn't. Anyway you're getting a free house for a week so just enjoy it.

TillyTadpole · 13/08/2018 20:11

How are you out of pocket? Wouldn't you have to buy your own food if you were staying at your mum's?

I would probably have left milk, bread, tea bags, coffee, ham (not sure about cheese tbh but if there was some left in the fridge I would probably have left it rather than throwing it). I'd have left some biscuits and a packet of small cakes that won't go off even if you didn't eat them. Your relative won't know what you like to eat.

If I was pet sitting, house sitting, childminding, granny watching... for a week I'd prefer to buy my own food.

Pengggwn · 13/08/2018 20:16

Huge difference between doing a special shop and leaving an empty fridge/cupboards. My house would always have pasta, chopped tomatoes, garlic, herbs etc. Yes, I would leave some vegetables and cheese. I would probably get in the basics like bread, milk, tea, coffee. I would also make sure there was salad and sandwich stuff.

BoomBoomsCousin · 13/08/2018 20:16

Dog sitting for free I would expect a somewhat generous pantry to be left, but more treats and convenience, not proper meals. I don’t think full board is an idea that would cross the minds of most people who aren’t/don’t have adult children living at home (and even then). Feeding yourself at someone else’s house wouldn’t be an additional expense for the vast majority of people who would probably be disappointed, one way or another, at whatever food their host had chosen for then.

Jenjenyeahyeah · 13/08/2018 20:20

Why are you offended that she showed you where the vacuum cleaner is? Aren’t you willing to clean up after yourself?....or are you so used to a cleaning fairy (ie your mom) that you don’t realise that living in a house for a week will create dust/crumbs etc that will need to be vacuumed up? She almost defo wasn’t hinting at expecting you to clean her house by showing you where the vacuum is kept, more just showing you where it is should you need it (and you should as a matter of courtesy give a vac around before she arrives home...as well as stripping the bedsheets you are sleeping in and washing up any plates you have used btw). I think you’re being unreasonable on all counts - she was thoughtful to leave you chocs and some basics and you said yourself that it was a mutually beneficial situation (she gets someone to look after the house for a week and you get a week of peace from the family home). YABU.

LittUp · 13/08/2018 20:21

YANBU. I had a very close friend of mine dog sit for us for 2 weeks while we were on holiday. I picked her up & took her to the supermarket for a full food shop & then paid her £100 for the two weeks. You are doing her a huge favour and saving her money. The least she could do is leave you enough for a meal a day.

mydogisthebest · 13/08/2018 20:21

Of course I would leave food. I have had friends dog sit and also my niece and have always checked with them what food they like and make sure I have it in the house plus bread, milk, pizza, fish fingers etc in the freezer.

If you use a dog sitting company that stay in your house you are expected to provide food

KittyHawke80 · 13/08/2018 20:21

OP - ‘I thought she could manage a bit more than bread and milk, considering I’m looking after her dog, unpaid, for a week . . . ‘

Other posters - ‘I can’t believe you expected a fridge bursting with individual beef wellingtons and Dom Perignon . . . ‘

Bunnyfuller · 13/08/2018 20:22

I’m paying a friend’s daughter £200 to house sit-ish for us for 10 days. 2 cats, one small dog, no food supplied (although I’ve pointed her towards the freezer full of ice cream).

I will be feeding/walking their dog for a week when we get back. This was agreed after the agreement on the house-sit.

I don’t think you should expect to eat for free, tbh. I plan to leave some nice biccies and chocs because this is so much better than putting them in kennels.

IamPickleRick · 13/08/2018 20:24

House and cat sat at my aunts many many times. Never had food bought for me because if I wasn’t in her house I’d still have to eat. YABU.

KittyHawke80 · 13/08/2018 20:26

OMG!

Other Posters: ‘I’m paying my dog sitter X pounds. I do not expect to have to feed them as well.’

OP: ‘But she’s not paying me anyth- . . . ‘

Other Posters: ‘I’M NOT FUCKING FEEDING THEM AS WELL!

TillyTadpole · 13/08/2018 20:27

Huge difference between doing a special shop and leaving an empty fridge/cupboards. My house would always have pasta, chopped tomatoes, garlic, herbs etc

Yes I agree. It's hard to think there was nothing at all left in the cupboards. That would be weird. Mind you if there's not much in the fridge my dd complains "There's nothing here to eat". By "nothing" I assume nothing she can throw in the microwave. It wouldn't occur to her to actually prepare something from the myriad of choice from the cupboard. I doubt she would even look to see if there was tuna that she could make a sandwich with her own fair little hands.. 🙄🤷‍♀️

KittyHawke80 · 13/08/2018 20:29

Any of you ever sat on a jury? Why should the taxpayer pay for your lunch? You’d have to eat, anyway . . . Ah - you’re doing your civic duty. Well, OP is doing a favour, and one which would ordinarily be remunerated. She’s not picking up a kid from footy; she’s not taking a parcel in. She’s taking care of a dog, for a week. She’d like something for it. Not U.

SirHubzALot · 13/08/2018 20:30

I don't think YABU at all! Your cousin will be saving loads in kennel fees and your are inconveniencing yourself to help her.

I would have left you food or money.

HollowTalk · 13/08/2018 20:31

I wouldn't give her a penny for bills.

mydogisthebest · 13/08/2018 20:33

If our 2 dogs go to our dog sitter she charges £35 a day. Kennels are a bit cheaper but not that much.

We looked into house/dog sitting services this year. it's about £80 a day!

OP is being paid nothing so the least the dog owner could do was leave some decent food for her.

OP you are certainly not being unfair but many posters are

Fireworks91 · 13/08/2018 20:36

A dog sitter is incomparable. They will be insured, walk the dog, be doing it as their paid job. The OP has a job elsewhere and is literally just sleeping there.

throwawayagain · 13/08/2018 20:37

@huggybear -
At the time I sat for friends, I was knee deep in a contentious separation. Shared residence, ex being a big tool.
When my close friends offered me a nice, empty house for a week - I was over the bloody moon! No drama for a week. Yay!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading in peace. Controlling the TV. Not having to deal with an imbecile!

When I read OPs post, and saw she was sharing a home with her Mum, I thought the benefits would be similar.
Note - not suggesting OP's Mum is an imbecile. Sorry! Grin

cheesefield · 13/08/2018 20:39

Hang on, what the hell?!

When our friend stays to cat sit for a week we get a food shop in and get her a bottle of her favourite spirits, she's saving us £95 cattery fee, plus petrol plus a weeks peace of mind that our cat is happy in his home and not in cat jail!

You'd all really expect someone to pet sit for free and wouldn't even feed them?

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