My in laws are tracking us

[cadburyegg]

So the in laws have discovered the find a friend feature on iPhone and have set it up so they can track DH wherever he goes. God knows why he has accepted it.

We were on holiday last week and DH fired them a text to let them know we were home safely. Their response was “yeah we know”.

So AIBU to think this is odd??

I can understand it with partners or younger children (we have it for 11yo DS) but not parents. I'd find it insulting, I'm a grown woman ffs and an invasion of my privacy.

I bet OP's DH didn't give it any thought though

@tinstar why do you need to know his location all the time if he's 21? Surely you're confident by this stage that he can get to and from the airport OK? It's hardly a big deal to send a text saying flight landed OK. It seems weird to be keeping track of someone's location - to know they spent 3 hours at a house on X street, and left at 2am, or that they went out to Y club. I would feel very uncomfortable about someone having that info. and I don't even do anything interesting. I have anxiety so I get it but I definitely think the healthy thing to do is tackle the anxiety not track your family members.

@IceCreamFace. Oh ffs!!!!!
Where did I say I need to know his location ALL the time?
I'm very confident in his ability to get to an airport but because I don't want to pester him for texts it's quite nice to glance at a map and see he's made it. I can do that without expecting him to remember to let me know.
Why on earth do you think I would be monitoring how long he's spent at a particular house????!!!!

Can't you tell the difference between a bit of fun/casual interest and unhealthy, obsessive stalking??!!!

Fun/casual interest/ Checking up a few times/ stalking/ - there a fine line between them.

Fun/casual interest/ Checking up a few times/ stalking/ - there a fine line between them.

I think some of the posters on here are displaying signs of paranoia.

Tinstar - much more paranoid to feel the need to track grown adults and see what they're doing.

Rainbow - erm, maybe check the definition of paranoia?

Why do you feel the need to track your grown children and see what they're up to?

Rainbow - perhaps read my post? I don't "feel the need" to "track" my grown children. It's a bit of harmless fun - like posting on Mumsnet perhaps?

Posting on MN v tracking your grown children... not even comparable.

I wouldn't like it, it's pretty weird, and quite sad really. Ask him to turn it off.

Rainbow - HOW MANY TIMES??!!! I don't 'track' my son!!!! I look occasionally to check he's arrived when he's travelling. Saves him the effort of exchanging texts. You make it sound like I'm following his every movement! Are you being deliberately obtuse?

You've gone from "fun, casual interest" and checking to "occasionally seeing if he gets to the airport." It's tracking however much you try to minimize it.

'Casual' / 'occasional' - scraping the barrel now aren't you?

It worres me The lack of privacy we have these days without even really being aware of it. One of colleagues is a terrible fb stalker they look everyone up customers, potential employees etc. I don’t have anything to hide but I am uncomfortable with some of it, I did a search on my name and my god so much stuff came up I was genuinely shocked! I am so careful now. Then today another thread said blooming google maps keeps tabs on you! That’s been fixed now too

Tinstar - YOUR words "fun, casual interest", not mine.

Tara - agree. Since when did it become seem as normal to track everyone's movement? There's no privacy or sense of just "being" anymore.

Tinstar - YOUR words "fun, casual interest", not mine. Exactly!! You seem to be implying that I've gone from one position to another when the words I'm using are so similar! Why do you insist on taking such an extreme view?

Minimising it. Fun, casual, implies checking out a few times. Now it's just to see if it got to airport travelling. Making out even less
It's still checking up on your grown children, it's weird, stalky.

Well Rainbow - I've only had the app for a few weeks since ds put it in my phone so difficult for me to have developed too many stalkerish tendencies in that time ...

My 78 year old Nana tracks my DF- she likes to see he is safe (he works in london)

I only see it as innocent when she checks on him- she says he is on the golf course a lot😄

If my parents had been able to track me between the ages of 17-25 they'd probably have had heart failure. & I'd probably have stuck tracker upside down in a bucket somewhere. Albeit they were big socialisers anyway. Just as well.

Both DD and DS went travelling last year, not together... both enabled me to be their Snapchat friend and I found it reassuring to know where they were.
DS disabled it or defriended me when he returned, where as I can still see DDs whereabouts 😊I am reassured this evening that she has left the festival she was attending over the weekend and has now arrived at her boyfriends house.
I have also installed Snapchat on my elderly mothers phone eith her permission and can see where she is too although I don't tell her... does this make me a stalker?
As your DH enabled his parents to see his whereabouts he obviously doesn't mind.

Okay this is getting weird with the two threads

Isn't it just. Completely different tone of replies on the other too. Sounds like one is a wind up, or overall a nice bit of journalistic (or bored/goady individual ) research.

@tinstar

Sorry I still find it bizarre! On the very few occasions you might be worried about your adult son surely you can wait until he has a moment to text you? (Why do you want to know when he arrives at the airport?).

icecreamface maybe he doesn't think to text tinstar though. My dh is like that. Rarely lets me know where he is even when I ask. He's getting better, but wouldn't think I'd worry if he, for example, was biking three hours up the motorway at night in bad weather to get to work (working away) and he hadn't told me he'd arrived at all.