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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My in laws are tracking us

123 replies

cadburyegg · 12/08/2018 23:41

So the in laws have discovered the find a friend feature on iPhone and have set it up so they can track DH wherever he goes. God knows why he has accepted it.

We were on holiday last week and DH fired them a text to let them know we were home safely. Their response was “yeah we know”.

So AIBU to think this is odd??

OP posts:
Bluelady · 13/08/2018 11:01

My husband can see where all three of his kids are at any given time. I think it's bonkers and won't give him access on my phone.

ReservoirDogs · 13/08/2018 11:04

We have it because my DH had a mini-stroke recently and at the time didn't even know who I was let alone who he was. At least if he goes awol (because perhaps he had another) we'd be able to know his location.

(and for seeing what 16 year old is up to - but he does know its on there).

BertrandRussell · 13/08/2018 11:04

He accepted it. They can’t track you- just him. And that is up to him.

Dp and I track each other- it amuses us.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 13/08/2018 11:05

Has DH asked them why they're tracking him? Are they usually the nosey type?

Aprilshowersinaugust · 13/08/2018 11:05

Have you a cat? Strap the phone to its back.
Let them have fun with tracking it.
They obviously have far too much time on their hands.

FeckingFeckers · 13/08/2018 11:05

It's unfair to blame the in laws when your DH agreed to his phone being tracked. If he had an issue with it he wouldn't have let them track his phone.

Camomila · 13/08/2018 11:05

My DPs both track each others phones...I think they mainly find it cool and futuristic Grin It means they can meet for lunch if dad is working from the middle of town office and dms in town and also that dm doesnt fret he has fallen in a ditch somewhere on his bike.

I don't let dm track my phone though because I find it creepy.

FuckPants · 13/08/2018 11:07

Myself and my husband have never tracked each other, we both find it insane unless you live very rurally (we don't) and even if we did I still doubt we'd track each other.

ChoudeBruxelles · 13/08/2018 11:10

Change your settings so you’re not findable

tinstar · 13/08/2018 11:12

I don't really understand why people think it's always creepy. I've just discovered I can do this with my 21 year old ds. He's travelling abroad at the moment and I just find it interesting to see where he is. Not because I'm anxious about him or anything, it's just mildly entertaining. Maybe that's how your in laws view it?

BertrandRussell · 13/08/2018 11:14

"Change your settings so you’re not findable"

They can only track you if you accept the tracking request. My dp is in Monoprix in St Malo at risk very moment. I just looked. I am about to ask him to look at their cast iron skillets and buy me one if they look good.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 13/08/2018 11:19

Are they new to this sort of thing OP? It could be a bit of entertainment for them, they might be doing it with the rest of their family too? She accepted their request so he mustn't be bothered by it?

Blerg · 13/08/2018 11:25

Hoping my (lovely) mil doesn’t hear about this feature. She worries about DH and long journeys. Having said that, I can imagine wanting to know where my kids are when they out in the world.

ZanyMobster · 13/08/2018 11:28

There is another thread like this at the moment. Seriously weird

BertrandRussell · 13/08/2018 11:29

"Hoping my (lovely) mil doesn’t hear about this feature. She worries about DH and long journeys"

So tell her about it- it'll ease her mind and possibly make life easier for everyone!

diddl · 13/08/2018 11:37

If your husband is OK with it & wasn't bullied into accepting it-isn't that OK?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 13/08/2018 11:37

It could be worse. A friend at church was intending to show her daughter's wedding photos (DD is in Australia) - only to find that another "friend" had already shown everyone ("friend's" son was hired as a singer for the wedding, and put photos on his FB page, which his mother obviously accessed, and then showed everyone - -knowing that my friend would (obviously) want to share the pictures herself.)

BTW - this woman has form for "hijacking" other people's news if she finds anything out about anyone.

BertrandRussell · 13/08/2018 11:43

My dp is on one of these little pink boats - I was wrong about St Malo, it was a page that hadn’t updated!

My in laws are tracking us
DasPepe · 13/08/2018 11:49

They’re probably checking it a bit too much if it’s a new thing for them and they probably don’t have anyone else they are tracking :) maybe mention it back to them (for a laugh) “oh I see you ‘here’ - what are up to?” Maybe they realize that it sound a bit creepy to talk about it.

We have our small (but globe spread) family on FF. It’s nice to look at sometimes and also useful for OH, if we are running late, plans change or to know if he’s headed home from work etc. most times I forget its there though

Mrsjones17 · 13/08/2018 11:53

I have let my mum have access as o drive long journeys and she worries. I also forget to let her know I have arrived safely. It made life easier to just let her follow my phone when she wanted to! I’m 30! However if it means she sleeps more peacefully it’s fine by me I’ve got nothing to hide.

zerozerooneone · 13/08/2018 11:57

My family can all see where I am and vice versa. We live some distance from each other and it makes journeys so much easier. You can just look and see where they are and get an eta. Saves constant texts about leaving times and traffic jams.

ApolloandDaphne · 13/08/2018 12:23

I can see where my adult DDs and my DH are on the Find Friends app and they can see where i am. We have all mutually consented to this. Is one person didn't want to be visible they can change their settings. I pretty much never ask why they are in a certain place though.

confusedmomm · 13/08/2018 12:38

I would hate anyone tracking me. I don't have anything to hide obviously but you do need some privacy

Sparklynails7 · 13/08/2018 12:46

I think it is super creepy to track people and it's weird that your husband accepted the request. Have his parents always been strict and overprotective? Do they struggle to let go of their not so little boy?

I guess it would be useful if you went somewhere really remote and away from civilisation, but other than that it's an invasion of privacy.

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 13/08/2018 12:50

Maybe it's just a novelty thing for them, they'll get bored in time. Oh look he's at work. Oh look he's on the M1.
Only time DH and I use it is if one of us - usually him - is driving a long distance or going hunting/camping. We also live fairly rurally in the USA, he often has to travel through isolated desert and mountain areas, in winter especially, vehicles have been known to go off the road in accidents and haven't been found for weeks. Plus it means I get a heads up when he's heading home and I can figure out how long he's likely to be.

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