More is DD BU? A flipping tote bag??? For School???

[thatcoldfeeling]

DD is starting year 9. She has just showed me the bag she wants for next year. A flipping leather look tote bag.

Apparently "everyone has them in year 9".

Seriously, what the actual fuck is this nonsense?

Her school does not have lockers and she walks to after school sports several days a week. She really wants to carry all her books and sports stuff in a tote bag!? AIBU to be entirely baffled, generally wtf, and completely reluctant to go along with this!?

*Note - Have just had a flashback to the fashion at school when I was a teen for wearing a rucksack on one shoulder only. That was shit. Maybe I am BU and carrying your stuff around with self induced difficulty is a feature of being a teen!?!?

Yes, it’s the in thing for this age. My DD and all her friends have the same.

My DD’s school does have lockers though so she can at least keep her PE kit there.

If that's what she wants and it fits the uniform policy let her have it, but make it clear you won't be buying a new bag after a fortnight because the tote isn't practical or is uncomfortable to carry

I've noticed this too with my ds's friendship group. The girls mainly have River Island bags for school, from year 8 upwards.

I think they start year 7 with a nice, practical and sturdy bag or back pack and then it becomes more of a fashion item.

My nieces are all the same.

Does the bag she want have the capacity for her books etc? If not then what's she going to use?

Back in the 90's we all loved the funny shaped Benetton bags in every colour under the sun but at least they did fit everything in.

She needs to discover its unsuitability for herself.

Meh, I did it and then went back to having a tiny Nike Just Do It rucksack eventually.

Leave her to it and she'll figure it out? Or try looking for a nice leather look rucksack?

Oh God yeah, all those years on one shoulder wearing ... it was so bad for our shoulders and backs! Why was walking with a hunch cool?

Yeah I had one of these. My sister just came out of school and she had one of these.
They’re impractical and fit no books inside but they’re “cool” and no one wants to be the odd one out

Yeah, it’s impractical but she’s 13, at that for a lot of kids fitting in is crucial. In a while she’ll work out for herself why a sturdy rucksack is much better, but I’d let her have her choice of bag for now, it’s not a hill worth dying on.

My daughter begged for the Ted Baker one, £45. It is like a thick plastic with rigid handles that dig in your arms.
She used it about 6 times, it's now on a shelf in her bedroom, neither use nor ornament.

She's having a rucksack this term!

Why are you reacting like this? It's a bit over the top.

When I was in secondary school it was those horrible Nike drawstring bags. We didn't have lockers.

Yeah, I remember being fucking crucified for wearing a bag on both shoulders in year 7

Just let her have it. Would she used a shopper cotton bag as an additional bag from a ‘cool’ shop?

Ah bollocks I am going to have to go with it!

The agreement will be if she realises it is uncomfortable and useless of tears down the seam at the weight of her school books, she will have to use my hiking rucksack :D

Good call op

As I always say to my dd ( who is only 7 )

"You know best"
Said in the most sarcastic tone I can muster.

Eurgh yes they all have these. Then they don't have what they need coz "it didn't fit in my bag miss". Get a proper bag then!

I carried all my school stuff in a Jane Norman carrier bag. If you didn't have one of those, you were shunned

And yep same @idonthaveatattoo - I remember walking home from school with my bag on two shoulders and two of the bitchy 'cool' kids laughing at me and skipping past with their bag on both shoulders laughing/mocking me - I was really upset though now it seems like the most ridiculous thing possible!

I guess he could take a cotton shopper for additional bag space, I have a stash of cotton tote Remain bags from the EU referendum, I would love her to use those!

*she not he!

We had these when I was 14

I remember loads of girls having tiny, impractical handbag style bags and then a Jane Norman or La Senza 🤢 bag to carry their books in when I was at school! Barely anyone had or used lockers so there was always some sweaty PE kit to be carted around too! I think it’s just one of those weird rights of passage!

@cheesymonster at my school besides the one shouldered rucksack, if your PE kit wasn't in a River Island bag you were basically not even a real person!

My DD is going into year 8. Currently has a rucksack for school. She said she was discussing with her friend when they would have the handbag style bags for school and thought some time in year 8 or year 9

Ahh Cheesy we must be about the same age 😂

DS going into year 10 has had no such bag traumas - boys do seem easier in this respect

Call me no-fun-mum if you will but I would, and have, refused to buy something for my children that is actively harmful to their health.