More is DD BU? A flipping tote bag??? For School???

[thatcoldfeeling]

DD is starting year 9. She has just showed me the bag she wants for next year. A flipping leather look tote bag.

Apparently "everyone has them in year 9".

Seriously, what the actual fuck is this nonsense?

Her school does not have lockers and she walks to after school sports several days a week. She really wants to carry all her books and sports stuff in a tote bag!? AIBU to be entirely baffled, generally wtf, and completely reluctant to go along with this!?

*Note - Have just had a flashback to the fashion at school when I was a teen for wearing a rucksack on one shoulder only. That was shit. Maybe I am BU and carrying your stuff around with self induced difficulty is a feature of being a teen!?!?

LaBelleSausage

I still have mine

Yes - the leather look totes are what everyone has at DD's school too. They don't last too well, so just buy from New Look or Primark and replace termly.

Feeling nostalgic reading this thread.

It was Jane Norman shoulder bags when I was that age

When I was at school I was desperate for a gondola basket instead of the leather briefcase I actually had. Fashion has a lot to answer for!

Think it's school related. 5 nearest secondaries to me - 3 the kids tend to have tote bags and uniform is enforced strictly in 1 and 2 seem to have an issue with it.

The other 2 the kids all tend to wear brownie type shoes and carry backpacks (properly!). Both have better reputations re kids adhering to uniform and can certainly say from observation I can see why.

2 are exceeding in progress and results, 2 have dropped significantly in the past 2-3 years and 1 has always been 'acceptable'. 2 are Academy and 3 are state.

I do think a general child ethos towards what school is about can help and can produce better results. However interestingly the strictest school re uniform and refusal to allow make up, fake tan or any type of dye colour unless it looks entirely natural and unnoticeable - has the biggest issues around bullying over things like the type of bag carried. I think it's because it's the only expression of individuality they are allowed.

Personally I think backpacks are far more practical.

I've gone more down the "I'm willing to spend this much" route and they had to either top it up or suck it up!

We've had a few mistakes but they've mostly stuck to rucksacks. For themes part though, none of mine have been remotely bothered what was 'cool' or 'in' and haven't been in those friendship groups. Thankfully.

I used one of those (ok, not a leather look one) back when I was in senior school, some 35 years ago.
Mine was hessian though.
Others used vinyl totes.
It was normal for us!

To give you hope, OP, my going-into-year-11 DD has been through that phase and is now back to a Kanken (Fjallraven).

Oh just had a flashback! I remember the coloured head bag with the removable pocket 😂😂

All the girls have them and they are ridiculously impractical.
Speaking as a teacher in an all girls comp, they stuff them so full of make up (inc. bloody hair straighteners!) then whinge because I make them take their books home rather than just dumping them in my classroom.

Ha. This thread takes me back! Too many books to fit into the Morgan bag so I carried more bags 🤷🏻‍♀️

In my day it was the canvas Body Shop bags. It started with the plain one with the logo, then graduated to the ones with either a 'save the world' or feminist slogan on.

Mine said "Don't go around thinking the world owes you a living, the world owes you nothing, it was here first!' I had no idea what it meant, but they were the thing back then. They held next to fuck all and the straps hurts like hell when stuffed with books. I'll try and attach a pic.

Then the body shop bags were relegated to PE kit bags when record bags came into fashion. Another bag that was absolutely useless for carrying school stuff. Books ok, lunch box? Not a chance you're getting that in there. Far too narrow. Useless.

But teens will be teens and they've just GOT to have what their peers have.

This stuff drives me nuts and DD is only year 4! Fecking smiggle pencil case, I'm looking at you. They desperately want stuff and then it's impractical and frustrating, and you have a battle on your hands because you're not prepared to just replace it 2 months later. I keep the old bags/pencil cases, so if DD actually needs something useful, she can revert to the old one, until a birthday or christmas comes round and she can ask for something fancy then.

Vique rock buns are so last century aren't they. They were swept away by a tide of sugar-encrusted cupcakes. They should really revive them on bake-off.

Still their name doesn't really help their image.

Ooh who remembers the one shoulder backpacks? How uncool it was to have one with two straps (AND wear it on two shoulders!!!)

Also think you should let your DD get on with it and have a laugh when she realises how silly it is.

Thanks for the lovely bag memories!

And the strap always used to break, cos all the weight was on it- cue desperately try I g to force a needle through tough canvas to see it up.

DS going into year 10 has had no such bag traumas - boys do seem easier in this respect
Probably just as well you don't have a dd if you would view this as a "trauma"

It was flowery Dorothy Perkins rucksacks when I was a teenager. Straps so thin but both worn on one shoulder. So bad for posture.

DD has an Animal rucksack as do most of her friends (well similar size, different brands) - going into year 10. She also still uses a Sistema lunchbox and water bottle and has never had the mick taken. She's confident and shrugs off any negativity which is lucky although is sensitive in other ways.

My DD is going into year 10. Since year7 she has had a tote and also a superdry backpack for PE days. Accessorize totes last the whole year as does the backpack. Reasonable at around £40 for each.

"replace termly."

I had boys so it seemed easier, although a rucksack from the market didn’t appeal from about 13 onwards, so upgraded to same rucksack but with Nike or Adidas on it.
When I went to secondary school in 1968 we had to have a leather satchel, totally impractical for sandwiches, books, PE kit etc. When we went comprehensive rules relaxed and we went through different fashions of bags, even big paper carriers at one time. Plastic lined crochet hand made bags also were very in one year.
When I was about 14 I clearly remember that on Thursdays I had to carry to school on the bus, my school bag, violin, PE kit including hockey stick and my wicker cookery basket!
In hindsight I would say pick your battles! Wish someone had said that to me when mine were teenagers!

I had a Head bag in sixth form. You had to carry it with one hand strap over your shoulder - that was the law.

I remember kids using boot bags for all their kit - that was a mare as they couldn't fit anything in

Lots of totes now, and very few older girls with rucksacks. I have bought myself a Kanken though.

We had canvas body shop bags - all went well for mine, until I washed it as a pen leaked and it shrunk!

The school I work in has a choice of three bags - backpack , record bag or a tote style canvas bag - all with school logo on - always felt that it took away some individuality but actually probably makes things so much easier for parents !

Our Y5 girls all have pleather handbags over the crook of their arm and rose gold phones attached to their ear. Thank God for a son lol
Wow, they must grow up fast where you are to all have that in year 5. One or two might have that in year 5/6. Most start year 7 with backpacks. From then some start to have the totes but a sizeable group of girls still have backpacks throughout the school. Different colours of phone. Sounds very clone like and grown up in your year 5!

Yep, I remember the horror of seeing someone wearing a rucksack on both shoulders, it just wasn't the done thing! Now I don't give a stuff and I`ll wear one on both shoulders no problem. It's funny looking back on these things though and it's all part of growing up.

I drive past a high school sometimes to get to work and did notice most of the girls had tote bags with them. Some of their bags looked a lot nicer than anything I own but it seems to the be trend now. Let her have one and suffer with it but also feel like she's one of the crowd. I just remember how horrible it was being a teen and trying to fit in like everyone else.

You can get some really nice ones from Primark that won't cost a fortune if it doesn't work out.