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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think his behaviour was pretentious/ toffy??

252 replies

Summerdays011 · 12/08/2018 00:29

I've been on a few dates with a guy who ordered a bottle of wine at a restaurant and accepted waiters offer to try it, he swirled it on the glass then smelt it... then .. finally tasted it!! (I know this is the correct way to order /taste wine lol but it made me cringe??)

When I then picked up my glass and went to drink it he said "smell it first"... I wanted to throw it at him lol!!
.. am I over reacting???

OP posts:
MeltingSnowflake · 13/08/2018 23:41

I'd smell the wine first if I was in a really nice restaurant or bar and I was paying a lot for the wine, but if I was in, say, Pizza Express or something, I'd be a bit [hmmm] if someone did that.

I think what's REALLY pretentious is telling you to smell it. That's just incredibly impolite and shows he's not as well brought up as he clearly thinks he is! Grin

Madieracake · 13/08/2018 23:45

My hubby always does the sniff swish and taste. Been together 22 years and it still makes my cringe. Lol

DiegoMadonna · 13/08/2018 23:57

Isn't a £20 bottle in a restaurant basically the equivalent of a £5 bottle in a supermarket?

ConfusedWife1234 · 14/08/2018 00:05

I think men just like to show off a it when they are nervous. It is pretty normal... and I personally do think it is soooo cute.

ClaireAnne1976 · 14/08/2018 05:46

SheGotBetteDavisEyes

I can’t believe you quotes me for your rant about projection. Especially in that you’ve mentioned people using all sorts of insults and I most certainly didn’t say anything like that!

Ok perhaps he instructed her how to enjoy her wine rather than insisted. My point is he was rude and in any case they don’t sound like a match.

IJustLostTheGame · 14/08/2018 07:43

My fil puts on a show of tasting wine and always loudly comments on it. He's also a twat and doesn't expect me to taste it and just accept his yay or nay.
Once we were served wine that had corked and he hadn't noticed it. He was fuming when I asked the waiter for another bottle and didn't talk to me for the rest of the meal.
He would rather have drunk vinegar than admit he was wrong.

FabulousTomatoes · 14/08/2018 07:54

Well I do a quick swirl, sniff and taste but I’m aware I might look a twat so I do it quite quickly, and try not to make a show of it. After all, the waiter has asked you to check the wine, sobthatvis what you do! Having said that, I have had formal training in wine so to me it is a reflexive action to quickly swirl, sniff and taste a new bottle - even at home before supper! (I don’t at parties though, that would look a bit knobbish).

43percentburnt · 14/08/2018 08:01

Nothing wrong with what he did however telling you to smell it prior to drinking it would make me think he was a tosser.

Lozz22 · 14/08/2018 11:18

Why do I always manage to come on these threads when someone’s comment(s) have been deleted by MNHQ!! I then have to sit trying to guess what has been said!! Oh and imo wine regardless of whether or not it cost £3 a bottle or £300 a bottle still tastes shit and does not smell or taste anything like the strawberries and wooded blackberries with a subtle hint of vanilla to it that the label states!!

Racecardriver · 14/08/2018 11:32

I don't see anything wrong or unusual about it (clearly the dude likes his wine) but telling you to do it is incredibly rude. You should have just said that you can already smell it without drawing attention to it because you have to practically shove your nose into a wine glass in order to drink from it. Wine glasses are designed to allow you to experience the aroma of the wine while drinking it.

DagenhamRoundhouse · 14/08/2018 12:31

Spanishwife
Does it work for Lambrini?

BIWI · 14/08/2018 12:34

I doubt it. Lambrini isn't even wine!

TheLastNigel · 14/08/2018 13:32

Wine snobs are my least favourite kind of snob. I just find it so dull. Just drink it man.

VladmirsPoutine · 14/08/2018 13:34

@TheLastNigel That made me genuinely laugh out loud! Grin

TheLastNigel · 14/08/2018 13:36
Grin
ConfusedWife1234 · 14/08/2018 15:13

@TheLastNigel Which kind of Snob is your favourite kind of Snob then? ;)

TornFromTheInside · 14/08/2018 17:29

The best kind of snobs are those that shake their heads and look down at their own lack of couth, but never at others!

manicmij · 14/08/2018 18:21

A lot of folk expect to smell and taste a wine especially if expensive. Sounds as if your date did know what he was doing so why not!

MrsMcW · 14/08/2018 18:33

I used to work in the wine trade. You should always test a cork bottle by swirl and sniff, regardless of price. It's not to see if you like it, it's to check that the wine isn't corked. (An estimated one in twenty bottles is off).

And as for him telling you to smell the wine first, he was likely hoping you'd appreciate it. The nose of a good wine can be wonderful and going straight for the taste means you miss out. Try it and see - you'll get so much more out of the wine! Smile

In short, I don't think he's pretentious at all. Just into his wine.

TornFromTheInside · 14/08/2018 19:29

'corked' is not 'off'. You can drink corked wine, but it's not to many people's taste.
Modern synthetic corks are far better than traditional ones and screw caps are even better, but - the faults in old corks are also part of the wine process, especially in more expensive wines.

Corked does not mean it's let in air, it's a fungus that can reside in cork, but is 'triggered' by cleaning products or sterilisation kits found in some wineries. Chloride in those products can react with the fungus and 'cork' the wine. It's not a bad thing, it's not dangerous or anything, it's just not usually liked.

Some people can smell it more than others. It's not a measure of how sophisticated a wine drinker you are to be able to notice it or not.
A sommelier can check for you, but it's traditional for the purchaser to do it - it's more convention than anything else.
Wine that has been 'corked' can be de-corked. The chemical formed by the mixing of the fungus and the chloride can be taken out. Of course, nobody would do this in a restaurant, they'd just ask for another bottle.

A lot of people will say a wine is corked when it's not. Many do it for show because they are tossers. This happens mostly with businessmen showing off.

BIWI · 14/08/2018 19:37

... and many people think that wine is 'corked' when there are bits of cork floating in the bottle after it's been opened badly!

gandalf456 · 14/08/2018 19:42

I'm with you op. I'd rather eat 100 McDonalds than eat out with this prick again and I hate McDonalds

ImAIdoot · 14/08/2018 19:48

If you are offended by someone discernibly knowing stuff, you might not be a good match with someone who clearly wants to share the stuff they have learnt with you.

I once went out with someone who genuinely thought everything everyone did that involved tasting wine, speaking in words with multiple syllables, having read books and even just having a southern accent was all done for the purpose of showing off to them. Didn't last long, I wished them well and we both found more suitable partners 🙂

ImAIdoot · 14/08/2018 19:49

Forgot to say, YABU it wouldn't even occur to me that this person was trying yo impress anyone from what you've said.

ConfusedWife1234 · 14/08/2018 20:02

@Tornfromtheinside But this man wasn‘t really looking down on anybody, was he?