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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tipping is not the done thing.

546 replies

Lyndaishistory · 10/08/2018 20:01

You are not expected to tip in the UK! I'm not sure why some people think otherwise.
I would only tip if service was above and beyond but it is not an expectation and I wouldn't "cave" if it was crap service.

Husband and I had a rubbish meal at a well known resturant chain for our anniversary. I complained at the time but nothing was done about it.
Left husband to pay the bill and he tipped them. Bloody hell, I want my fiver back!
Seriously considering LTB over this.

OP posts:
yorkshireyummymummy · 10/08/2018 21:23

This reply has been deleted

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sweetsomethings · 10/08/2018 21:23

Thanks lemmmomade glad you and Lydia agree . I have helped dress and undress customers put shoes on able bodied customers feet honestly the things people expect you to do . Yet putting food down in front of someone is deemed worthy of a tip. In this climate we are all just grateful to have jobs tips are not needed in the UK.

GunpowderGelatine · 10/08/2018 21:24

YADNBU. I don't want more Americanised crap here and I hate this new wave I being expected to tip. Our waiters and waitresses don't depend on tips to get a wage, it's very different from tipping in the US where you should even if you get a bad service

CardinalCat · 10/08/2018 21:24

Goodness, rainbow, that's a bit much a more than a little defensive.

I've been in the position before of being mortally embarrassed by the people I'm sharing a meal with splitting the bill without taking into account service, and feeling like I have to leave extra to compensate. I don't feel superior, but I do wonder how on earth they can enjoy a lovely meal and fail to leave a token of that for the people who made it happen (which IS the expectation in virtually every place I've ever eaten in, in the UK). Can't you even consider for one moment that when you leave without giving a tip, you are offending the staff and embarrassing the people you dined with (if you're in a group?)

CherryPavlova · 10/08/2018 21:25

Of course tipping is usual unless a service charge has been added.
Lots of waiting and bar staff are students working long hours to support their studies by earning through the holidays. Tips make a huge difference. My daughter works with an events staff agency and the pay is ok but not amazing. However, she gets incredibly generous tips so although it’s not every day employment, she is managing to save.
I don’t think you can go to a chain restaurant and expect an amazing meal.
Tipping is the norm for restaurant staff, bar staff, hairdressers, taxi drivers and others providing a one off service. People like bin men and the postman get a Christmas envelope, traditionally.

rainbowsandsmiles · 10/08/2018 21:26

Thanks for the biscuit, tokyo Confused
You were the one who started flinging insults to others, just returning the favour.

CardinalCat · 10/08/2018 21:27

sweetsomethings maybe as part of that saving, save up an extra five quid then and leave some small token before showing yourselves to be the type of customers that establishments balk at serving. Or go to somewhere self-service.

rainbowsandsmiles · 10/08/2018 21:28

Goodness, rainbow, that's a bit much a more than a little defensive.

Sorry, cardinalcat, wasn't aimed at the rest of the thread, just wondered how tokyo would like it if the other side of the debate started being nasty for the sake of it.
Peace out to all whatever we decide to do with tipping in the UK Smile

sweetsomethings · 10/08/2018 21:29

Oh cardinal that ignorance is amazing . People don’t have £5 to give away so poor people don’t deserve to dine out . JESUS WEPT

LoveIsNotInTheAir · 10/08/2018 21:30

@Seniorcitizen1 Your comment is quite possibly one of the stupidest I’ve heard on mumsnet yet

CardinalCat · 10/08/2018 21:30

I think the vast majority of the UK has been tipping restaurant tip for as long as I can remember, certainly since the 70s or so! There may be some regional variances, though, which would explain the strong views on either side! Smile

LoveInTokyo · 10/08/2018 21:31

Not flinging insults, just telling you how it is.

Having worked in four or five different restaurants, including a chain restaurant, I can tell you with absolute certainty that almost everyone tips their waiter or waitress as standard.

If you're the one percent that doesn't, I can guarantee that both the staff and your fellow diners (if you're out in a group) think you're being tighter than a nun's minge.

It's really not a good look.

sweetsomethings · 10/08/2018 21:34

Loveintokyo when people tip me for my job I will gladly tip waiting staff. Until then I could not care what strangers think of me.

CardinalCat · 10/08/2018 21:34

sweet I completely disagree. Make no mistake, when your family walk away with full bellies after a meal, leaving the waiting staff to clear away your mess and discover that you have left no tip, it is you that will be getting called ignorant (to put it extremely mildly). It's part of being a decent and honest consumer, unless service has been bad.

Notasunnybunny · 10/08/2018 21:34

I tip 20% if service has been good, never less than 10% unless I felt the wait staff had been appalling. Kitchen errors don’t count, the waiter/ess May have been trying hard even if the kitchen had cocked up. Obviously I use my discretion, I wouldn’t tip in Nando’s for example.

birthdaygirls · 10/08/2018 21:34

CardinalCat Is it regional? Maybe it’s economics? Or class?

Boysnme · 10/08/2018 21:34

I tip in restaurants if I’ve had good service and don’t generally take any change from taxi drivers however more recently have found that I haven’t been able to tip in a restaurant as the card machines don’t seem to have the option to tip on it as readily available as they used to. The last 3 restaurants I’ve been to have been like this and I never have cash on me (I know I should take cash if I know I’m going out for a meal but that’s too much forward planning)

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/08/2018 21:35

In view of the UK's NMW/NLW I do tip, but perhaps less than I would in the US ... unless there's a service charge already added, when the service would have to be exceptional for me to add to it

As a slight aside, though, has anyone else had the experience of being told "they don't share the service charge with us" in order to get more?

CardinalCat · 10/08/2018 21:35

I could not care what strangers think of me.

AH, there it is!
Ok, makes sense now. Hmm

morningtoncrescent62 · 10/08/2018 21:36

I'm not sure how anyone thinks it's not usual to tip in the UK. It has been for as long as I can remember (and my memory stretches back to the 1960s). In restaurants I usually tip even if the service is slow - because slow service is usually because the owners aren't paying for enough staff, the ones that are there are run off their feet and shouldn't be penalised. I only refrain from tipping if the staff are surly and rude.

While I'm here, could someone tell me how much is considered appropriate at the end of a hotel stay? I always leave something in my room for the cleaners, but I realise I have no idea at all whether I'm leaving the right amount. Is there a recognised amount, or percentage of the room cost? (I tend to leave £5 per day, don't know if this is generous or mean.)

LifeImplosionImminent · 10/08/2018 21:36

I tip a standard 10% for standard service - as much as I can spare for exceptional service, Ex H and I chased a waiter through a restaurant once to give him a tip because he was brilliant and his shift ended before our meal did. But if I get terrible service they get nothing.

Janni01 · 10/08/2018 21:36

My friend works as a carer in a minimum wage place.
She dresses people, feeds them, bathes them and helps them for 8 gruelling hours a day five days a week.

So how fucking dare you look down on her because she won't tip you. She rarely goes out but when she does go out she pays the money for the meal and doesn't tip. And why should she? She works for the same wage as you and no one tips her

Tipping is not obligatory, we've something in the UK called minimum wage and as a server you're expected to provide a good service. Why should someone give you more money for doing your job when my friend doesn't get a tip for hers or the cleaner working in a hospice doenst get a tip, or the shop worker etc etc

sweetsomethings · 10/08/2018 21:37

Oh well cardinal maybe they should be grateful they have a job at all and maybe you will fall on hardtimes and realise that £5 is a lot of money to people and I couldn’t care less what people say about me when I walk away .

middleagedalready · 10/08/2018 21:38

People have always tipped, my grandmother who was born almost a hundred years ago always used to tip and she was as English as you could get.

birthdaygirls · 10/08/2018 21:39

sweetsomethings I’m an academic and I get “tips” as in taken to lunch to discuss papers, new publications given to me etc. DH works in media, he gets nights out, gifts, Christmas hampers, plane seat upgrades... those are tips.

Many people get tips.

Perhaps you are just not v good at your job!