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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For reporting cousin for prostituting herself. Has two kids...

150 replies

cousinconfusion · 10/08/2018 12:18

I'm in need of some advice about my distant cousin who is prostituting herself online with her two young children in the house.
I found some accounts belonging to her on twitter and Instagram that contained explicit photos and videos of her, (these accounts are public for everyone to see).
She posts private videos too on a website that you can subscribe to for £10 a month.
She is also inviting strangers over to have sex with, I can only assume this is happening in her house and not in a hotel.

My concern here is for the children and their welfare at home, I worry for her safety too, these men know her address and could become dangerous.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
glintandglide · 10/08/2018 13:16

You’ve been searching around like a crazy person

ADastardlyThing · 10/08/2018 13:17

Yea, like I say, all sounds odd. I had no idea Facebook etc allow sex etc videos, I had a pic of me breastfeeding removed and all you could see was the very top of my boob!

53rdWay · 10/08/2018 13:17

I’m puzzled about what you do and don’t know here - she’s a distant cousin and you haven’t spoken for years, yet you know for sure what her partner feels about their relationship?

But anyway: if this is true, yes report to social services for the sake of the children. Just make sure that you’re clear to them about what you’ve heard/seen yourself vs what you’re just guessing (ie, that her partner isn’t involved in this himself).

Original poster
cousinconfusion · 10/08/2018 13:17

@glintandglide
Thanks, because that's what matters right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
cousinconfusion · 10/08/2018 13:20

@ADastardlyThing
Facebook is run by arseholes, sorry to hear about your experience being reported.
Although, I never mentioned Facebook in my previous posts.

OP posts:
Beaverhausen · 10/08/2018 13:23

The best thing for you to do OP is make a report to Social Services and get your other family members to do the same. The police unfortunately will not do anything unless SS requests them too.

Sounds dire and hope you get it sorted.

ADastardlyThing · 10/08/2018 13:23

No I know you didn't, I just lump them all into one for ease!

I'm not sure what I'd do, I find it weird your family are winding you up about it but don't seem to have reported themselves. For that reason alone I think I'd take it all with a large pinch of salt.

Beaverhausen · 10/08/2018 13:27

Can I ask OP how do you know the kids are suffering? If you have no contact with her at all. Also a mum who is a prostitute and works from her residence is not against the law but SS will investigate if there is any indication that the kids are in the premises when she is working. Unless you can prove that SS will not do anything.

Can I just say if she is such a shit mother why have the family not stepped in and removed the children from the environment, why are you all more than happy to sit there and gossip and try and gather ammunition against her rather than contact her and ask her if she needs help.

What is wrong with you. You said you do not like her or get on with her this is why people want to know what your real agenda is in all of this?

Bobbybear10 · 10/08/2018 13:31

Are you sure everything you have been told is true?

I would be questioning why the father was allowing the kids to rummage in the bin for food? Could he not make them breakfast? Did he not eat at all?

When is she actually doing these videos? Are the kids not in school/pre school etc? If it’s in the evenings why isn’t the father stopping the men coming into the house or taking the children elsewhere?

Why can the father not move out with the children?

Why can the father not ring SS himself?

You need to be very careful that people are not giving you an overinflated story that will come round to bite you in the arse. You need to be 100% sure this is actually happening.

You do realise it could be just as likely that the partner has put up private videos of her that she knows nothing about, everyone has got involved with Chinese whispers and now she is a prostitute as well as a cam girl when in all likelihood she could have an abusive partner that is posting videos she doesn’t know are being recorded and covering for himself by making out she is a sex worker.

ADastardlyThing · 10/08/2018 13:31

Makes you wonder if the family are just on a witch hunt and using a 'sucker' to make wild accusations to SS

Like, why go to all the trouble of telling you about the situation but not even tell you the name of her accounts or anything or even show you the videos themselves?

All very very odd.

HelpmeobiMN · 10/08/2018 13:34

It doesn’t sound like you have enough information to be sure that the kids are in danger, but there was no harm in reporting if you had concerns. It will be investigated and if the kids are safe you’ll know that you at least did your bit.

Original poster
cousinconfusion · 10/08/2018 13:36

@Bobbybear10
She's talking to the camera in her videos, she is also holding the camera. Her partner is not involved.

OP posts:
Underhisi · 10/08/2018 13:36

You are going to report it just bloody report it.

Original poster
cousinconfusion · 10/08/2018 13:37

@Bobbybear10
It's also the school holidays. So no, they're not at school right now when she's making the videos.

OP posts:
ADastardlyThing · 10/08/2018 13:40

That must be all the proof you need then op? If she's having sex in these videos or openly talking about 'clients' and making it clear she's a sex worker?

What are you waiting for?

Bobbybear10 · 10/08/2018 13:47

Ok OP but don’t just pick which questions you want to answer!

What about the other questions? Until you can answer those and have complete understanding of the situation preferably with evidence then you need to keep your nose out!

If you report her then remember SS will be asking questions of the children’s father and why he is incapable of feeding them breakfast or protecting them from her sex work which tbh you should be asking as well.

AcrossthePond55 · 10/08/2018 13:50

I'd think it would be a good idea, if what you say is true, for you and the rest of the family to devote your efforts to assisting her partner in getting himself and the DC out of the home. 'Complications' can be unraveled when there are people determined to help.

I don't approve of what she's doing IF the children are in the house whilst she's doing it. But there would be better things for me to do than waste my time spreading gossip (and video links!) around the family.

AcrossthePond55 · 10/08/2018 13:55

OP not accusing you of being the gossip spreader. You aren't close to this cousin so obvs you heard this from other family members. They are the ones who should be encouraging the partner to get out.

ShatnersWig · 10/08/2018 13:56

They used to rummage through the kitchen bin for food in the morning as she wouldn't wake up to give them breakfast.

Did you report your cousin for this? If not, why not?

FreshHerbs · 10/08/2018 13:58

So you report her and then what.....
Social services won't update you on what they will do regarding the children.
Will you still have sleepless nights worrying about the children once you report your concerns?
If there is concerns of neglect why haven't you or other family members reached out to her to offer support and if their are concerns how do you know that social services aren't already involved.

DelphiniumBlue · 10/08/2018 13:59

You seem very sure her partner is not involved. But you hardly know them, how can you be so sure?
Most sex workers are not in it voluntarily, they are either being forced to or doing it to fund an addiction.
I can tell you that if all this is true, he is involved, and he is responsible for any harm the children suffer. I mean what does he do, wave as he goes to work saying " have a nice day" knowing his children are unfed, neglected and at risk from random strangers shagging their mum? How long before some sicko makes the children join in?

Is your whole family sat around talking about this while those children are suffering, and while your cousin is in such a state? Show some gumption, get the children out, find out what support cousin needs and go to social services. Report in writing as well as verbally. Tell the safe guarding lead at school. Work out who in the family will step up and look after these kids. Do it now.

StopAndChat · 10/08/2018 14:00

I should've know people would comment trying to defend her actions
That's not at all what's happened. People are rightly pointing out that you know fuck all. You don't like her and you haven't spoken to her for years. People are feeding you information and you have latched on to it without actually KNOWING what is going on. You have a vendetta and I'd love to know what she did that pissed you off so much. If there was genuine concern for her children, someone would have done something before now and not just watched and gossiped about it. Love how you absolve the bf of ANY involvement or fault. You are way more transparent than you realise

It's one thing for a woman to become a sex worker, that's a their choice and I'm not here to judge that
LOL. No, no judging from you OP. LOL
The difference here is that the kids are involved and are suffering as a result
And you know this, how? From other people content to watch it happen. Sure.

Viviennemary · 10/08/2018 14:00

If you are truly concerned about the children's welfare then inform Social Services. I don't think that is a healthy environment for children to live in if what you say is true.

RomanyRoots · 10/08/2018 14:04

I knew a prostitute once whose kids would never have known in a million years.
It paid for their school fees and a good lifestyle to go with it.
are you sure mummy isn't just going out to work, or maybe working from home in a secure room away from the kids?

stevie69 · 10/08/2018 14:07

Other family members have told me she is having men over for sex

So you: Heard it from a friend; Who heard it from a friend: Who heard it from another .... Hmm