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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that preteens ruin your evenings?

100 replies

BathmatOfDoom · 09/08/2018 20:34

DS is 11 and brilliant company. I love him to bits. But in the evening after a long day I maybe want to chill out and watch something on TV or Netflix, and there's loads I'd like to watch but which I don't want him to see. Once he goes to bed (9-10pm depending on holidays/school etc) it's too late for me to start watching anything, I need my bed! I'm sure I should relish every moment but tbh sometimes it was nice when they went to bed at 7.30pm although the little buggers never stayed there for more than a couple of hours

OP posts:

Singlenotsingle · 09/08/2018 20:35

Life's never easy is it?

Cherubfish · 09/08/2018 20:37

I know what you mean, OP. My DS is 12 and is on the sofa with me and DH until 9.30 (10pm in the holidays). We can't send him up to his room as he shares with a younger sibling. I love him to bits but it does mean that DH and I get very little time together. No solution, just empathy!

Original poster

BathmatOfDoom · 09/08/2018 20:50

I know, I mean I'm not planning to watch porn or Tarantino, but my guilty pleasures like First Dates aren't really anything I want to encourage

I guess I'll have to wait for him to leave home then instead I'll be sobbing all evening because he's left me.

OP posts:

Ivorbig1 · 09/08/2018 20:57

Enjoy his company whilst you can, in no time he will be watching tv in his room that he doesn’t want to watch with you. (Been there) time will fly and you will miss him sat next to you .

AlonsoTigerHeart · 09/08/2018 20:58

Yeah wait till they are 15/16 and go to bed after you, locking up on the way.

greenlanes · 09/08/2018 21:10

I thought it was just me!! Can't really watch CSI or NCIS with a 12 year old sitting there, and as you say 10 pm is too late to start watching. But pps are right I will so miss him when he leaves home! So that's me stuck watching car shows for the next few years!!

CurrentlyAwayFromTheCompuer · 09/08/2018 21:11

I currently have one on their phone, one playing toblox and one playing Xbox.

Strangely the tv has peppa pig on

CurrentlyAwayFromTheCompuer · 09/08/2018 21:11

Roblox

Anonnymouse54321 · 09/08/2018 21:13

I send mine upstairs to play and mess about in his room. He's 10. I need quiet in the evenings and he talks at me none stop, usually about sodding football. I know I'll miss it when he's gone but I need downtime and I can't get it with any children around.

Lindalee3 · 09/08/2018 21:13

The curse of having children!

Hopefully he leaves home soon so you can get your life back.

MorningsEleven · 09/08/2018 21:20

My 11 year old has just come into the room, announced a fart and run off to get a bra to cover her face with. Can I divorce my kids?

Jules439 · 09/08/2018 21:27

My 11 year old goes up at 8 but can read for up to an hour so she gets quiet settling down time as do we! Is that excessively mean?

MaryH90 · 09/08/2018 21:27

We’ve got a 10yo and he still goes to bed at 8, mostly because if he didn’t me and DH would have no ‘child free’ time in the day at all. Could you not send him up at an earlier time on the understanding he can read/watch tv etc until his bed time? Therefore giving him his extra time but providing you with your own space and time to do what you enjoy. This is what we’ll be doing when DS finally starts arguing with his ‘early’ bed time

Cismyass · 09/08/2018 21:27

Binge watch everything in your nursing home? Gives you something to look forwards to?

ILoveDolly · 09/08/2018 21:29

My oldest is 12 and we have a rule that she goes to her room at 8pm. This avoids the favouritism complaint levelled at us from the younger ones who want to stay up. She is, of course, not obliged to sleep at that time.

HollowTalk · 09/08/2018 21:29

First Dates is hardly going to harm him, though!

Do you have a TV in your room that he could watch?

sexnotgender · 09/08/2018 21:30

I used to send mine to their room at 8/8.30 to read for an hour before bed.

Original poster

BathmatOfDoom · 09/08/2018 21:30

To be honest he's great company, I'm happy to be with him (his little sister is another level with the incessant chattering though, my goodness it's quiet once she's gone to bed!) but just don't necessarily want him to watch violent, gory, or "adult" stuff before bed. And I don't particularly feel like relentless You've Been Framed episodes every evening

OP posts:

SurfnTerfFantasticmissfoxy · 09/08/2018 21:32

We've got a 10 year old and a 7 year old - they both go up to their rooms at 8.00pm, the 7 year old goes straight to sleep and the 10 year old gets to read or listen to audio books until 9.00pm on a school night. At the weekend he might be allowed to watch a movie on his iPad until 10.00 or maybe come back down once the younger one is asleep and watch something with us.

I love my evenings and reclaiming the weekday ones has really helped my stress levels....

Original poster

BathmatOfDoom · 09/08/2018 21:33

Cismyass

He hasn't got a TV in his room. I don't entirely trust him with screens in there to be honest. Hmmmm maybe it's time though - good to hear what other folk do (and not be 100% slated for not wanting to spend every single waking hour in thrall to them!).

OP posts:

whiskeysourpuss · 09/08/2018 21:34

It's not the tv for me it's that I used to wash all the floors once they were in bed because at least they'd stay clean for 10 hours & now I get DD coming out of her room at 9pm looking for a snack/the toilet/to irritate me for no apparent reason

Tinkobell · 09/08/2018 21:38

Oh dear OP. The bad news is that it gets worse. Once they're teens proper, parties kick in the you're up all hours inc weekends and holidays shuttling too and from houses and clubs etc.!!!!

ohtheholidays · 09/08/2018 21:40

It's that in between age OP it's hard isn't it.

I found that as well it's changed again for us now because our 10 year old DD is in bed and asleep by 9.30 our 15 year old DD and 16 year old DS will watch tv with us for a while and then go on they're phones the computers ect before bed which just leave us with DS22 and DS20 they're out alot come the evenings but when they are in we all like the same programmes and every once in a while me,DH and our oldest 2 will order a take away and watch tv together once the 3 youngest are in bed asleep.

So it comes in swings and round abouts so enjoy this age for now and then once he's older you'll be able to watch the same things and you'll get to know him as a young man and a friend.

ineedaholidaynow · 09/08/2018 21:42

We have DS(13). So for the last few years we have had to change our viewing schedule as his bedtime has got later. Does mean I have been weaned off the soaps. Like another PP I have been subjected to many car shows (which makes DH happy too), but does mean I can MN in peace. He also had to put up with my property programmes!

We have started to let him watch slightly more adult programmes, he loves HIGNFY and QI for example, and it is fun watching them with him (unless there is a particularly risqué joke!) There are still many things we don't let him watch.

It does mean DH and I have lost our evenings, but DS will go to his room or watch our spare TV in the dining room if there is something he doesn't want/not allowed to watch.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/08/2018 21:45

I take my iPad upstairs now. It’s reversed. Dd downstairs. But I’m chronically ill and bed is the most comfortable place of all.

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