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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that preteens ruin your evenings?

100 replies

BathmatOfDoom · 09/08/2018 20:34

DS is 11 and brilliant company. I love him to bits. But in the evening after a long day I maybe want to chill out and watch something on TV or Netflix, and there's loads I'd like to watch but which I don't want him to see. Once he goes to bed (9-10pm depending on holidays/school etc) it's too late for me to start watching anything, I need my bed! I'm sure I should relish every moment but tbh sometimes it was nice when they went to bed at 7.30pm although the little buggers never stayed there for more than a couple of hours

OP posts:
speakout · 09/08/2018 21:46

It gets worse,
When they are 16 they will want lifts home at midnight from parties on a Saturday night, meaning no weekend wine time.

schoty77 · 09/08/2018 21:47

Maybe I'm a 'bad' parent, but I've always let my kids watch whatever I'm watching, it often leads to an open/analytical conversation about the content. Is there perhaps something on later that you could both enjoy if you loosened up the reigns a bit?

Ziggzagg · 09/08/2018 21:48

I watch everything with DD12 Confused that's when she hasn't binned me off for her mates on FaceTime Sad

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 09/08/2018 21:49

DH has his TV in the evenings, I MN and watch DD 10's YouTube videos. I wish she'd go to bed before 10 in the holidays though, as I also have a 6yo who wakes up at 6 if I'm lucky.

Passthecake30 · 09/08/2018 21:50

I'm with you on this one! I've resigned myself to the fact that we'll watch all the superhero type films again over the summer break.
Maybe as they get older and fester in their beds for longer at the weekend they'll be a chance to watch what we've missed Smile

RomanyRoots · 09/08/2018 21:58

I think I must be the only one who likes my kids, I'm a sahm too.
The thought of feeling like this and have been working all day is very Sad

jarhead123 · 09/08/2018 22:00

Same here.

They finally go to bed by 9/9.30 and I crawl into bed by 10pm! They're just still too young for some stuff I want to watch

NameChanger22 · 09/08/2018 22:02

We mostly do our own thing now between 7pm and 9pm. We have various devises for watching stuff in any room.

hungryhippo90 · 09/08/2018 22:07

Hahaha, I thought we were the only ones!!

RB68 · 09/08/2018 22:07

My very nearly 13 yr old loves NCIS and Bones thank God. But I always described them as scientifc programmes than murder etc etc

But then she is not squeamish at all nor does she now have nightmares etc or do I worry about it - I found she is more blood thirsty than me and actually laughs at it all!!!

speakout · 09/08/2018 22:08

RomanyRoots

"I think I must be the only one who likes my kids, I'm a sahm too."

None of us like our kids- you must be the only one.

Original poster
BathmatOfDoom · 09/08/2018 22:09

I overlooked the posts where people said they didn't like their kids, Romany Hmm Call me weird but I just prefer Walking Dead to Stampy.

OP posts:
thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 09/08/2018 22:10

Ha, sat here with DS watching and chatting to DH as DH is playing somesort of PlayStation game and discussing tactics. The cat, who usually sits in the seat DS is currently sat in, is sitting on the floor looking at him mournfully wondering when he’s going to bed Grin

Sometimes if we’re watching tv we’ll watch a history programme - Home Time For Tea was good and great for discussion and the Secret Life of The Zoo.

FabulousTomatoes · 09/08/2018 22:11

YANBU. We went through that too. But now they’re teens they lock themselves in their rooms every night (and we don’t need babysitters anymore so we can go out when we want Grin)

StereophonicallyChallenged · 09/08/2018 22:12

🥇for Romany Hmm

RomanyRoots · 09/08/2018 22:16

Sorry - have an olders ones all grown up and I miss Ds1 like crazy, sometimes. I just read this at the wrong time.
I shouldn't have been a cow, I apologise.

Nononannette · 09/08/2018 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Deleted at user's request

MaryDollNesbitt · 09/08/2018 22:19

I would have to physically sit on my 11yo hermit DD in a bid to make her watch TV with me in the evenings. She only ever surfaces from her bedroom to rake for food these days. It's like watching a fox raid a fucking bin sometimes. On occasion she'll wave in passing if heading out with friends to play. She's super generous that way.

I nearly shat a canary when she came into my room to say good morning earlier. It was ever so sweet and unexpected. I asked if she fancied climbing in with me for five like we used to do - I got all happy at the prospect of a morning cuddle. The bubble was well and truly burst when she pulled a cats bum face and promptly informed me she was only in to steal my charger. Her iPad was out of juice. I've never felt more loved or needed as a parent HmmGin

Nononannette · 09/08/2018 22:19

Sorry Romany have just seen your post, so am apologising too! Will ask mumsnet to remove.

CountFosco · 09/08/2018 22:28

I think I must be the only one who likes my kids, I'm a sahm too.
The thought of feeling like this and have been working all day is very sad

Oh fuck off with your virtue signalling. It's a light hearted moaning thread.The OP said her son was brilliant company and she loves him to bits. Don't think that translates to 'hates my kids' does it.

OP I tryed to bore mine with BBC4, instead they end up watching Mary Beard avidly and asking what a prostitute is (thank you for that @MaryBeard).

Yesterday I was WFH in the evening and DD1 (10) came and started asking about my work. She wants to be a scientist and is getting really interested in what I do which is lovely (and more fun than editing reports) but she didn't go to bed until after 10pm. Nightmare.

RomanyRoots · 09/08/2018 22:30

Non

Honestly, please don't. It can serve as a reminder that they grow up too soon and then are gone.
It really was my fault and I shouldn't have been a cow.

I can remember moaning about dirty finger marks everywhere when they were little and my own dm telling me I'd wish for them back in 20 years time, I thought she was mad.

I have a 14 year old, so I should sympathise more.

Apologies again folks.

PeppermintPasty · 09/08/2018 22:32

My lovely ds is 11, I don't want to wish his life away but when can I sit him down in front of the Walking Dead? I'm really looking forward to him getting in to it.

Yeah, I know. Not at 11. Bugger.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 09/08/2018 22:44

PeppermintPasty I’m old enough (cough, nearly 40) and although I love Walking Dead I have to watch it cuddling my preschoolers giant soft dolphin toy and make a ‘hut’ with my hands over my eyes - the ‘hut’ has anti-zombie properties Wink

MinaPaws · 09/08/2018 22:44

You just have to find stuff you genuinely want to watch that is suitable. We watched all of Parks & Rec with young teen DC for that reason. And Big Bang, Glee etc. Not ideal viewing for us, but interesting enough and it does bond you. I'd have thought First Dates is quite cute though. It's usually very gentle and the host is so lovely.

youvegottobekidding · 09/08/2018 22:51

Same here. DH works until about 11pm on 3 nights a week & so we'll have a movie night when he's not working but now it's school holidays the kids (13 & 9) are staying up that bit later, we've got to find something for us all to enjoy. Actually tonight's film wasn't too bad, Kicking & Screaming with Will Farrell on Netflix, quite funny!! Even dd laughed a few times!