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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that preteens ruin your evenings?

100 replies

BathmatOfDoom · 09/08/2018 20:34

DS is 11 and brilliant company. I love him to bits. But in the evening after a long day I maybe want to chill out and watch something on TV or Netflix, and there's loads I'd like to watch but which I don't want him to see. Once he goes to bed (9-10pm depending on holidays/school etc) it's too late for me to start watching anything, I need my bed! I'm sure I should relish every moment but tbh sometimes it was nice when they went to bed at 7.30pm although the little buggers never stayed there for more than a couple of hours

OP posts:
Lweji · 10/08/2018 15:55

I could probably watch porn that DS wouldn't notice, given that his eyes are kept on his phone. Hmm

I know I should do something about it...

The only problem is that we can barely fit on the sofa the two of us.

PorkFlute · 10/08/2018 15:58

My 11yo is in bed a lot earlier than that on school nights so you could get him to bed earlier. They do stay up late at weekends/holidays though if we don’t have to be up early in the morning.

Onceihadaname · 10/08/2018 16:02

DD is 10 and has had a 9.30 bedtime for a while.
Usually it we can find something but every now and again I curse the 9 o clock watershed and wish there was a break with the news instead. Either you settle down to watch a programme and get disturbed halfway through, they always miss the end, or tv land goes straight from humorous cat videos to blood, rape and aggressive swearing!
When i lose the will to live at the idea of wasting 20mins min scrolling through netflix for something suitable that no-one wants to watch then i might send her up for 30mins reading but we mostly muddle through.
Early daya was nature documentaries. Now we like HIGNFY, would i lie to you, Crystal maze.... i can get away with casualty, big bang theory etc... at the mo we are watching monty python.
Parks and rec is inspired. I watched it a few years back and thought she was too young but should be ok now.
Any more suggestions?

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/08/2018 16:04

An 11yo only needs about 9 - 10 hours. DD doesn't have to get up until 6.15 for school. Send them to bed too early, they wake up too early.

Cherryminx · 10/08/2018 16:05

Gets worse. When they are older you have to stay up late and can't even have a glass of wine as you've got to drive to pick them up from somewhere.

PorkFlute · 10/08/2018 16:07

Well for them to have 10hrs they’d have to be in bed asleep by 8:15 and most people don’t fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow. Plus all kids are different. My 11yo goes up at 8:30 and has to be woken at 7:30 on school days.

StormcloakNord · 10/08/2018 16:08

Meh, my DD is 4 and I watch what I want on the TV while she's around. She peers at the TV but mostly does her own thing/watches her tablet if I'm watching TV.

She watched Love Island on and off when it was on the TV, she's also seen bits and bobs from iZombie, Desperate Housewives, The Walking Dead etc.

I just don't see an issue with it, neither does she apparently.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/08/2018 16:09

I knew there was a reason I couldn't drive! 😂 We have night tubes and night buses here. 😂

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/08/2018 16:16

PorkFlute DD's asleep by 9 on school nights, that's fine for her. She really is asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow, that's because she's an introvert and finds interacting with people all day exhausting. I'm worried about yr6, because that plus the volume of homework might be too much. 😕

RabbityMcRabbit · 10/08/2018 16:20

Wait a few more years then you'll barely see him. Enjoy his company while you can.

DarlingNikita · 10/08/2018 16:32

I take it you don't have another room he could read in or something, like a kitchen with a comfy chair/sofa?

Thinking back, I must have sat through a fair bit of unsuitable telly as a child as I didn't always go to my room very early, but I always had my nose in a book so I think I was oblivious to whatever it was my parents were watching.

Andtheresaw · 10/08/2018 16:46

Preteens are tough because they want to stay up late in the holidays because it's grown up, and because they have been allowed to occasionally in previous years, but they don't stay asleep in the mornings so they do get tired.
Young teens are on the cusp so want to stay up late and sometimes will sleep in.
By 14/15 they sleep until noon so on the weekends at least you can binge watch any old thing before they are up!
I'd rather have them around and watch stuff I'm not so interested in. DH doesn't mind us watching something for the benefit of the youngest teens, but does get cross when they are then on their flipping phone through the whole thing!

PorkFlute · 10/08/2018 19:25

My 2 stay up late but don’t surface until at least 10 in the holidays. Was 12 one day 😂

PeppermintPasty · 10/08/2018 19:29

I remember once on here that I made the mistake of telling MN that I let my two yo dd (she's now 8) watch all the Lord of the Rings films. And that's she loved the orcs and all the squishings and killings of those fine monsters.

I didn't half get a telling off on here from some Grin

I'd like to formally apologise now, and concede that those who disapproved were right-she has grown up into a crazy bloodthirsty beast. At this precise moment she is up in her room screaming and squawking in some weird role play. Ooh I do love her.

Maybe I couldn't try a bit of Walking Dead......😜

PeppermintPasty · 10/08/2018 19:29

** could! Ffs

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/08/2018 19:37

DD 10 does sleep in at weekends and in the holidays, she's an owl. About 11 - 8.30 would suit her fine. She can't get to sleep earlier than 9 on school nights.

Redcliff · 10/08/2018 19:50

Love thus thread. We recently changed DS1's bedtime to 9.30 on the condition that he now shares a room with his brother. He us 11 and we both enjoyed Bake off when its on and Sherlock on Netflix. We watched a couple of seasons of once but has gone of it but both loved Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events tv show. Will try some of the other suggestions on here as well.

izzybobsmum · 10/08/2018 20:10

My dd is 12 and doesn't want to be anywhere near me or dh in the evenings. We almost have to bribe her to spend time with us. I know she needs her own space but I miss her really. I would say enjoy it while you can...

Original poster
BathmatOfDoom · 10/08/2018 20:16

Loving the suggestions of things to watch together!

At this age I was joining in with EastEnders Hmm and soon after I got stuck into Don't Forget Your Toothbrush then TFI Friday, Father Ted etc, and eventually Mark Thomas Comedy Product, which I think is a fine trajectory Grin

I've never done Parks and Recreation but there have been a few recommendations for that so maybe we'll look it up. Thank you!

OP posts:
PeppermintPasty · 10/08/2018 20:32

11 yo ds and I are now watching the second Kingsman movie. Fingers crossed.

PeppermintPasty · 10/08/2018 20:38

Oh god it's sweary.

Centreparcsooheer · 10/08/2018 20:41

I've started watching midsummer murders with mine! It is hard finding suitable things, we've just started watching outnumbered and the word twat was bandied about. I know my 12 yr old would hear that but just told my 9 yr old not to repeat as it's a rude word!!!!!!

Curious2468 · 10/08/2018 20:43

I have an autistic 11 year old. Without melatonin she is still wide awake at 1am so evening of peace and quiet simply don’t exist here. I find I stay up too late to compensate!

Dopplerineffect · 10/08/2018 20:44

My Dd is in her room most of the night chatting on x box. Feel a bad parent now.

AjasLipstick · 12/08/2018 04:45

Doppler but she's not a preteen is she? That's something over 12's do.

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