To be not looking forward to NYC holiday

[Kakamora]

Because of a post I’ve just seen about servers complaining they’ve had a tip that doesn’t reflect what they spent on food.

Yes I know that tips top up their wages but I want to take my mum on some pretty fancy dinners while we’re there and just because I spend $100 dollars which I’ve saved up my minimum wage money for, I don’t see why some server thinks that’s entitles he to a $20 tip because I’m spending a lot of money.

It is annoying me thinking I will have to save around an additional £150 for tip money. I always tip, but I don’t think waitresses here in the U.K. (which I am part time, think that spending £100 you know people have budgeted for warrants an expensive tip

I worked as a waitress for many years in NY. The hours are long and the pay is awful. I worked over 40 hours a week and received $33 a week wages as I am taxed based on card tips plus I had to give a percentage of my sales to my busboy. Tips paid my rent and I was so grateful to all who gave me 10% and anything more was a bonus.

To be honest, whenever I got European or Australian customers I didn’t expect a tip so it’s a lovely surprise when they do. On the plus side British customers are usually really polite and easy to deal with.
It’s not a good situation for anyone except the owner of the restaurant who basically gets free staff. Be aware that many high end restaurants will add gratuity to your bill regardless especially when they hear your accent.

Another Am I being unreasonable? Yes, you are. No I’m not! thread 🙄

I would much prefer them to be paid a proper amount and that the price on the menu was the price I paid.

I'd also like to see them serving normal sized portions, for less money, than the huge portions they do serve. We spoke to a server once about it and apparently a lot of the US customers prefer it - they have one large main course and then take part of it home to eat later. They couldn't understand our way of eating three smaller courses, and not taking it home with you. You see people doing this even in places like Disney World, when its 100f outside - do people really carry food around, in sweltering heat, inside a sweating bag, and then eat it again later in the day??

They also eat meals really fast - even at the posher restaurants, a meal is over with much quicker. They start to clear your plates away whilst others are still eating. Its a totally different way to eating out than back home and in much of Europe.

Well, Aragog that would be because sharing a portion it still involves serving two people, drinks, bread, extra plates, silverware etc. And, doggy bags don't have the same stigma in the USA as they appear to do in the UK, they fully expect people to take away the uneaten portions of their food and provide boxes for that purpose.

Does any of this make sense op?

If you don't want to tip don't go to restaurants that warrant it, you'll need to go to self service or fast food places. If you do want to go to restaurants where you're waited on then pay the recognised 15%+ assuming all is good with the service.

How does the one dollar per drink thing work then? Working a full shift in a busy bar would yield many hundreds of dollars, making bar staff much better paid than any other part of the service industry.

As another poster said you'd make quite a lot of money on a friday night between 10pm and 12 and then fuck all on a Tuesday at 10 am. You'd also be preparing the bar, tidying up, cleaning glasses, folding napkins and silverware etc in your downtime (where you are basically working for free). You'd then give a portion of your tips to the back of the house and busboys etc.

Yes, that's true tax isn't included in shops. Why don't you refuse to pay that as well OP? Can you film it for us?

Op, some of the higher end restaurants (think The Modern where the service is amazing!) no longer accept tips as it’s built into the menu price. It might be worth looking up some of these as places to treat your mum without worrying about the tip.

@Kakamora sounds like an entitled, embarrassing Chav. One of the unfortunate side affects of cheaper air fares

A friend works as a bartender in NJ not far from Manhatten and still an incredibly expensive place to live.

He worked out with taxes he earns just over $1 an hour. $1. So Yes, someone could starve without that tip and anyone who doesn't is a complete arsehole.

Another bit of advice, if you don’t tip don’t go back to that restaurant and expect the same service.

I once served an English family every morning for a week. They took up my best table every day throughout my morning breakfast rush sipping coffee and flicking through their tourist books for a couple of hours each time. After explaining the tip situation (which my manager stepped in to do) they still refused to leave anything. By the 7th day I was almost throwing their food at them.
I lost $300 that week and struggled to pay my rent.

people budget to go out with their money.

Then budget for the tip.. isn't that obvious?

"It's Friday night and I have $100 to spend on dinner"
Simple... Order $80 of food instead of $100 worth, leave a $20 tip instead of $0
No angst, no stress , no bitterness...

Or go McDonald's and don't tip.

If you travel you should accept the customs of where you're going, not try to bend them to yours.

I do think many of you are being somewhat harsh towards the OP
—the joys of posting in AIBU—😂

I think reading all the tales of servers chasing you down the street, demanding X amount in tips etc. can sound very unsettling to someone unfamiliar with the U.S. system.

We have travelled quite extensively throughout the U.S. - although our last trip was 10 years ago - and we have never had a problem at all, ( although strangely we never visited NY.) As previous posters have suggested, just think of it as part of the sales tax/service charge. You soon get into the swing of things and it quickly becomes second nature. Same with offering a dollar with each drink!

Also, must admit we always tip housekeeping staff daily wherever we go, (not been to Japan yet though.). I would feel awful not doing so - not because we have ever been bullied into it. (And we always tip in all inc. properties too, particularly Caribbean/Mexican hotels where clients are predominantly from the U.S.)

This is from someone who is a self confessed tight arse! 😂. OP, you will be fine. Don’t worry - have a great trip!

Pssst, Stirner, little tip- you don't sound as posh as you think you do when you say things like that, you just sound like a snobbish wannabe.

By the way, to save you future embarrassment, it's effects.

Friend has to pay a % of his tips to kitchen staff.

When we were last there with them we had a really bad meal and the waiter was really flustered. Apparently, it's not unheard of for kitchen staff to deliberately sabotage the food of waiters they dont like so they dont get their full tips.

It's a stupid system - but unfortunately you do need to just suck it up and accept that 20% is the standard.

They WILL chase you out of the restaurant for it if you don't leave enough.

You can get great food in the US from a corner deli and many other places. There is really no need to go too fancy to have a great time.

People like that are a bloody embarrassment fudge and a complete disgrace!

Yabu.
When in Rome op. Or holiday elsewhere.

I hate this in the US. My friends and I once had it pointed out to us (very patronisingly) by a waiter that it was usual to tip 20% in the US although 'perhaps that's not how it is in your country'.

We took back the tip we'd left, which was 15%, and didn't bother with that restaurant again. It had been fine but not great, as had the service.

The pay is shit, yes, but that isn't diners' fault. And you'd think waiting staff might have worked out by now that the more they guilt-trip people about tipping, the more likely they are to get no tips at all.

Oh, and shop tax isn't the same thing at all as a discretionary tip. The clue is in the words.

But I'm sure I'm just 'an entitled, embarrassing Chav' like the OP for saying this.

Don't miss amicissimma 's comment on tax as that might catch you out too OP!

and yes to the pps about doggy bags - the food portions are huge so expect to eat half and take the other half home for breakfast or lunch the next day!

MyDirtyLittleSecret I know that but I was surprised as it is the first time I have ever seen it written on a menu. I've been travelling to the US for holidays a fair bit over the past 14 years and this summer was the first time. In one restaurant it was a $30 charge to share a main course. It would have been cheaper to buy a second main meal.

Food's not that cheap in the US, unless it's fast food where you don't tip anyway. We didn't tip much more than 10% per meal in the US.

We tipped $200 at our all inclusive holiday in the Maldives (got a real bargain) as we split it amongs the cleaning staff, beach sweeper and waiters. No idea if that's tight or generous but felt about right.