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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be not looking forward to NYC holiday

394 replies

Kakamora · 09/08/2018 11:18

Because of a post I’ve just seen about servers complaining they’ve had a tip that doesn’t reflect what they spent on food.

Yes I know that tips top up their wages but I want to take my mum on some pretty fancy dinners while we’re there and just because I spend $100 dollars which I’ve saved up my minimum wage money for, I don’t see why some server thinks that’s entitles he to a $20 tip because I’m spending a lot of money.

It is annoying me thinking I will have to save around an additional £150 for tip money. Angry I always tip, but I don’t think waitresses here in the U.K. (which I am part time, think that spending £100 you know people have budgeted for warrants an expensive tip

OP posts:
whathappenedtherethen · 09/08/2018 18:34

Onanothertrain I don't either. I posted earlier saying she's not realised and it's up to her what does if she's happy with it. Sadly there are some posters who I think just post to goad. Some people are just nasty.

Stupomax · 09/08/2018 18:46

I really don't understand why the op is getting such a hard time. Are you all American waiting staff??

I doubt many of the wait staff in New York are actually American tbh.

WickedGoodDoge · 09/08/2018 18:56

I’m amazed it’s still a dollar a drink for the tip- I left the US in 1990 and it was $1 way back then!

I’ve only once not tipped and that was at WDW where we had a rare absolutely dreadful waitress. We spoke to the manager and explained that we wouldn’t be tipping and why. She was lovely and also insisted on comping our desserts.

LaurieMarlow · 09/08/2018 19:01

People who declare they're 'bored' in New York strike me as somewhat limited. The Met alone could keep a person going for days.

Anyway if the OP is so desperate to avoid tipping, there is amazing street food in NY.

ShumpaLumpa · 09/08/2018 19:05

People who declare they're 'bored' in New York strike me as somewhat limited. The Met alone could keep a person going for days.

Not sure who said they were bored, all I said is I wouldn't go back. I'm glad I went, but once was enough.

I happily spent a whole day in MoMa but would I go back? No.

It's not fair to call me limited, I'm fascinated by lots of other things.

bellinisurge · 09/08/2018 19:09

You have to tip. You really do.

Storm4star · 09/08/2018 19:10

There’s another thread going about Tokyo and someone’s thinking of going for 10 days and someone responded 5 days is “plenty” in Tokyo and they should split it with Kyoto. I’ve heard this view expressed a lot but I have spent a month at a time in Tokyo and not run out of things to do. So no I don’t think I am a “limited” person. New York just wasn’t my scene. Like ShumpaLumpa, I was happy to go once but wouldn’t go back.

Stupomax · 09/08/2018 19:14

I agree you can go to New York and not feel the need to go back. But to say there's nothing to do once you've seen the main sights is ridiculous. You could wander the streets for weeks finding things to do.

I do find it a bit sad that people visit NY or Florida or California and judge the whole of the US by their limited experience. I've lived all over - west, east, midwest, south, rural, city, suburbs, rich, poverty-stricken - and it's so diverse.

LaurieMarlow · 09/08/2018 19:16

If you're saying that NY is not your scene, fine.

And once you’ve seen the major “sights” there’s nothing else there to do

This however is ignorant beyond belief.

Storm4star · 09/08/2018 19:18

The US is huge, I certainly wouldn’t think that NYC is reflective of the rest of it! The UK is tiny by comparison but there’s plenty of diversity here so why wouldn’t there be there!

Storm4star · 09/08/2018 19:20

I don’t think it’s ignorant at all. The things to do there were not things I wanted to do. We are not all the same. As I said, plenty of people don’t want to spend a month in Tokyo but I do happily. It’s just different tastes. I think it’s ignorant to think otherwise!

RedStef1983 · 09/08/2018 19:22

Tipping is part and parcel of eating out in the USA. Do your research.

As an aside, the first time I went to NYC c20 years ago I didn't tip appropriately (through my own ignorance) as was followed out of the restaurant by the owner to ask what was wrong with the food/service to warrant a poor tip. Just a thought.

ShumpaLumpa · 09/08/2018 19:23

Come to think of it, I didn't particularly love SF, LA, Vegas or Florida either.

I'm not sure why that is, usually I'm a very keen traveller.

Honeyroar · 09/08/2018 19:25

I believe not only are they paid very low amounts, but they are taxed on the tip that they should get, so they lose out massively. I hate the way everything works in the states, having to add on to bills and things you buy costing more than you think (OP you'll be fuming!), but that's just how it is. I'm sorry that you're only on minimum wage, but that still doesn't justify you making sure someone there on minimum wage doesn't even get it!

Stupomax · 09/08/2018 19:27

Come to think of it, I didn't particularly love SF, LA, Vegas or Florida either.

Doesn't sound like you really ventured outside the cities.

Honeyroar · 09/08/2018 19:28

Re not liking places - you can't like everywhere, everyone's different.

I have been doing short stays in New York for decades, there are millions of things to do, there's something for everyone, no need to be bored. I am getting tired of New York because it's so noisy though, I find it don't sleep well there.

snowsun · 09/08/2018 19:31

What ever you think it's going to cost - double it. We went with that idea and we weren't shocked. It's a city. It's going to be expensive.

Glumglowworm · 09/08/2018 19:38

YABU

You need to treat it like the tax, it’s an extra expense that isn’t optional.

You can afford a trip to NYC and “fancy dinners”, you need to work proper tips into your budget.

Comparing it to your job in the UK is ridiculous, it’s a totally different system. A waiter in the UK is paid a minimum wage depending on their age. In the US they’re paid a pittance and live on tips.

Yes it’s a shit system. But that’s the system in the country you are choosing to visit, so you need to follow it

strawberrypenguin · 09/08/2018 19:41

Tipping pays the wages of a lot of American waitresses/waiters they are laid a very low wage with the assumption they make the rest up on tips so YABU I'm afraid. You should budget for it accordingly

throwawayagain · 09/08/2018 19:42

I was the OP once Blush.
Sent to NYC on business. Had no clue!
The Cabbie pulled me up on it. I was astonished, then horribly ashamed.
Took me all of 5 minutes to understand the culture, and stop being a twat.

I think you have to experience it to understand. Grin

anniehm · 09/08/2018 19:42

Tipping is part of the cost but just like here, you can get really good deals by looking online in advance - avoid the tourist traps and you will pay no more than in the U.K. Do note that they will add the state taxes (not sure about NY, but typically 10%) then you tip on the full bill, 15% is adequate unless you have been exceptionally demanding customers. The US is a land of vouchers and coupons, use them wisely and you will have a great time that won't break the bank.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 09/08/2018 19:52

re tipping in bars: the done thing is to leave your money on the bar or table. Leave the tip at the end of your drinks, not one at a time.

They will usually ask if you want to open a tab - say yes, if you will have more than one drink. Then you don't pay as you go.

Restaurants: if you want a nice meal for that kind of price, I suggest you do lunches instead of dinner. Typically cheaper, and often you can find a set menu for a good price. $100 for two would be doable for lunch, sometimes. Not for dinner.

Tip: 20%. If you have a complaint about the food, ask for the manager and be discreet. They will usually take the specific item off of the bill, or comp the dessert or something. Unless your complaint is about the service, do not take it off the tip.

Noviceoftheweek · 09/08/2018 19:57

You sound utterly miserable. I travel to the US a lot and tipping is part and parcel of eating out. Don’t go to a restaurant if you’re not prepared to do the decent thing.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 09/08/2018 20:03

In NYC, generally - double the tax, and round it up

This is what I do all over the US - never had a problem yet

Just beware of the type of place that will add 20% to the bill, hoping you don't notice and will tip again. If you get caught out and complain, the standard answer is a curled lip and "oh, all our regulars are happy to do this ..."

If your budget's a bit tight it doesn't have to hurt; just enjoy lots of lovely picnics/people watching, use self service places some of the time and save the served meals for when feeling a bit more flush

And don't ever go anywhere near Miami!!! Grin

CakeNinja · 09/08/2018 20:05

I tip 20% as standard at home and on holiday! I can’t think of a time I haven’t left any tip, possibly one or two times when service has been truly atrocious.
Don’t be tight OP, enjoy the trip and don’t be bitter about tipping. Go to places you can afford to tip at.