Correcting Dh’s grammar in front of dd because she’s starting to pick up his way of speaking.

[CocoDeMoll]

I’m not a snob in any way, seriously!!

My dd is 5 and she now attends a little local primary where there are lots of kids from v MC backgrounds and I don’t want her being picked on in the future because she says things wrong. And for the record my own spelling and grammar is shit so I’m not judging.

She’s says ‘them’ instead of ‘those’ as in ‘can I have some of them tomatoes’ and other stuff like that because dh does. Dh doesn’t realise this isn’t correct but doesn’t jump down my throat if I say it isn’t so he’s pretty decent about it. I have no issues with accents or dialects but I feel like down the line she might get further ahead if I correct her from saying stuff like ‘so I tells him’ to ‘so I told him’. AIBU?

I'm assuming MC = Mullti Cultural?

Not I’m his - *this! Ironic typo there

I assumed Middle Class

OP I could have written your post.
My pet hate is 'he's' instead of 'his'.
Also common phrasing in my DP's Family is 'I LEARNED him to ride a bike'
AHHHH. Just, Ahhhhh!!!!

Crumbs, I'd correct that. It's not 'snobby', it's just making it grammatically correct!

I assumed Middle Class

Ahhh

I have an accent but my spoken grammar is correct which means my written grammar is correct.

If your DD was saying that 2+2=7 you would correct her, wouldn't you? If she started writing 'happee' rather than 'happy' , you would correct her?

This is no different.

I’m yeah middleclass!!!

Lol I meant um yeah middle class!

Like it or not judgement will be made if people don’t speak correctly

ExH is from the East End - when our children were young, I would correct their grammar and pronunciation, but not his (I think to correct him about the way he spoke would have been rude). It worked. DC are in their 20s now: their use of grammar is good and their accent is closer to my Surrey accent than his. 20% of the marks for English Language GCSE is based on SPAG, so it is important.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with regional accents and expressions. Quite the opposite, eg ‘gannin’
Grammar is a totally different matter

It's fine to correct her; less so to correct him (your DH) as it's impolite to point out the errors of another adult!

I correct my kids all the time - how else are they supposed to learn? There's a big difference between "snobbery" (eg don't say "toilet") and correct English (eg it's "I taught him" not "I learned him").

My DH used to say he “brought” something in the shop.

I stabbed him.

Not really, but I was tempted!

Are you correcting DH in front of your daughter?

If so, that is very bad manners on your part and you are teaching her that, that is an acceptable way to behave.

Those in glasshouses..... some of your grammatical errors are indicative of poor speech patterns yourself. I think to correct your husband’s way of speaking in front of the child is entirely unacceptable and likely to lead down a slow, bumpy path to single parenthood.
Correct your own speech, correct the child’s but leave your husband to decide for himself.

How on earth is it snobby to correct grammar! It's this attitude that will keep people down as it absolutely matters when it comes to job interviews later on.

YANBU. Different accents are clearly fine, but totally I agree with correcting obviously incorrect words or grammar. I realise she's only 5 now, but no there's no harm in encouraging her to speak correctly. If she gets into the habit of using words or grammar incorrectly it could cause her problems at school in the future if she transfers these habits to her written work.

We actually had a discussion about this tonight, when DH used 'less' instead of 'fewer'. I pulled him up on it and made sure our DCs could tell me the difference (I am equally happy for him, or our DCs, to do the same to me). I'm sure things like 'should of' have only become so widespread because people aren't corrected and don't realise it's wrong.

My DS (14) argued that language evolves, and that if an incorrect usage becomes so common that the majority uses it, then it should no longer be regarded as incorrect. DH and I both think we should try and stop incorrect useages before they become so common.

It’s really hard to correct ingrained spoken grammar errors the older someone is. Modelling corrrect grammar to a child is important, I feel, regardless of accent/local dialects. We speak with a southern estuary accent in my neck of the woods, and it can have a huge impact on children’s writing when their grammar and pronunciation isn’t corrected.

But then I’m still bitter that we’ve had to discount Arthur as a potential name for son as my husband pronounces it Arfa . At 30 years or ages, he cannot say or hear the difference between a th or f. I won’t be letting that happen to my little one - and I don’t care if that makes me snob .

nathalie that’s sort of what I worry about. He doesn’t know what’s right or wrong English so I’ve corrected him a few times so he knows but it feels disrespectful.

YANBU. There is no reason why someone with a eat London accent shouldn't be able to speak properly. An accent doesn't precent correct grammar usage.

I thought middle class.

god, i correct my DHs grammar AND accent daily . dont want our children picking up his accent!!

I and all my family (except my mum, who tried to set a good example by talking proper) have central Scotland accents that are apparently incomprehensible to the uninitiated.

I am also a grammar nazi and always insist on my children using correct grammar, and also correct spelling and punctuation when writing.

Having a clear understanding of one’s language and its usage is essential for effective communication. Accent is irrelevant.

(And my mum wouldn’t have said proper - she would of course have said properly.)

I would correct my child but not OH