AIBU to think camping is f*cking shit, it’s not cheap and it’s not fun

[Pumkinfailure]

I’m currently a week into a 3 week camping tour of Europe and I’m ready to jack it in. I surely can’t be the only one to find this whole malarkey fucking hideous. Sleeping on a sloping bed in a tent hotter than the devils furnace, kids screaming day and night, neighbours who hate our wellbehaved Placid lab and have instructed us to keep him near to us at all times, never feeling clean, marriage hanging by a thread, no personal space or time alone. Not even wine is helping. And 50 bloody euros a night for the privilege!!
Please tell me I’m not alone on my detest for this form of holiday and share your tips to help me survive the rest of the holiday!

Pee Pee Bucket

Just kill me now.

I'm still recovering from a 'camping but in a static caravan ' experience 3 years ago. The campsite was in a gorgeous unspoilt spot on the Isle of Wight and as dh wont set foot in a tent, thought this would be the answer. How wrong I was. Our caravan was sited right next to the washing up and loo blocks. Mega loud clattering n banging of endless pots and pans being washed in big outdoor sinks from 5am every fucking morning. All bloody morning.Walls so thin felt like they were in the van with.us. Actually, every creepy crawly known to man seemed to be anyway. As soon as it got dark the floor was covered with scuttering cockroaches. I felt a gross crunch under my flip flop as i went for a wee at 2am. We all kept shoes on 24/7 after that. And the spiders. Jesus the spiders. Opened the kitchen cupboard to see mummy false widow staring back. Multitude of babies everywhere. Think the hundred or so tiny red spiders living around the loo were unrelated but none of us could have a proper poo the whole week. The scenery was great tho. Tell me one thing, happy campers, how the hell are you so cheerful at 5am? Shouting happily to each other as you clean your saucepans and singing away in the shower block? We couldn't get any sleep before midnight thanks to the unsupervised dcs from the camping area being allowed to run around shouting and screaming til very late indeed and the thump thump thump of footballs being kicked against our caravan wall. Holiday it wasn't.

Spent 6 months living/sleeping in a tent in Afghanistan and I still love camping.

@gummywitch ear plugs :D And there is something about the moment you unzip the tent and the fresh morning air. Honestly, it really feels quite primal. And everything is a bit slower. Kettle on, sit and chat, someone starts some breakfast. Lovely cup of tea in the morning, usually with a beautiful view.

I probably wouldn't feel that way in a static van, too claustrophobic.

We used to go for 3 day trips when the kids were small and that wasn't too bad but far too much effort. Always returned exhausted as the kids would be up at 5am because of the daylight and campsites are so noisy.

The last time we went we camped in Normandy for one week and that completely finished it for me. I had the period from hell, could never get clean or go to the loo without a queue waiting for me. I couldn't fire the camping stove because my thumb just wasn't strong enough so every time I wanted a cup of tea I had to get someone to help. On the last night it absolutely pissed it down all night, very loud thunder and lightning and our tent leaked. I didn't sleep all night as was so worried about how we were going to pack up in the morning if it was still wet as the tent had to be the first thing to go in the car.

It's was DH's 50th recently and the one thing he wanted to do was go camping. I was horrified and I think he could see that as he never mentioned it again. I honestly don't think I could have done it, well not with good grace anyway.

I think I may enjoy wild camping with just the 2 of us in a small tent that doesn't take ages to put up and down but wouldn't want to go to a campsite or as a family again.

Yep SalveGrumio wish I'd brought some! It just didn't feel like my camping fantasy in any way. Even though we were surrounded by beautiful countryside, lush green grass, amazing views. Just felt trapped in an old n musty box. Didnt get that back to nature feeling I've always yearned for. Mayb I'll try the real thing one day.

See, I get that time slowing down thing when I'm on holiday anyway. Wake up, have a leisurely coffee, wait a bit watching the view, have another one, maybe think about doing something, wander out for some fresh bread etc. Except I'm doing it post shower having slept late in a comfy bed rather than on a slowly deflating airbed having been forced outdoors at six am because it's too hot. Horses for courses I guess.

A lot of people I know who go camping do so in those massive expensive tents with inflatable armchairs and tellies linked to the hookup etc all of which huge amount of very expensive kit they spend hours loading their cars up with - they basically transport a houseful of stuff with them and put it in a field. Seems the same as hiring a cottage but a shit tonne more hassle.

And as for glamping - jesus, I wish I'd been the one who thought up that wheeze. Get a shed and some fairy lights and a few rugs and charge people more money than they'd spend on a frigging hotel room.

@blueskiesandforests it doesn't carry the same overtones as "chav" does. It's about (inconsiderate) behaviour and attitudes (generally, sneering anti-intellectualism), not class, so the term doesn't carry the implication of sneering at those less fortunate. The bogans I happened to be there with had city banker jobs. They were beer-swilling, loud, and would've been unpleasant to be camped next to - much like everyone else there!

Got caught in a storm whilst camping a few weeks back and had to evacuate the tent at 3am with the kids and pack the tent and all our belongings into the car in the p*ssing rain wearing flip flops and my pjs.... b&bs from now on! I hope you get an local guest house and leave dh to it!

Pee Pee Bucket

Just kill me now

There there.

Currently on BBC

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00jzj72/play-for-today-series-6-12-nuts-in-may

How are you getting on OP? If you stick it out for the full 3 weeks you deserve a 🥇

Ah - thank @668neighbor, I'd understood class as definitely bring one element of "bogan" - tbh I think many countries which passionately deny the existence of a class system still have one, just less clearly defined and far less talked about than the UK. The USA certainly has...

I'm still surprised about the bogan campsite religious evangelism and want to know which religion!

I think bogan is massively class laden. The expression 'cashed up bogan' refers to working class people with money making (supposedly) tasteless choices.

I love camping. We camp as a family for 3 weeks in the south of France near to the beach but far enough away so as not to have a tent full of sand 😁. Close but not too close to toilet block so sound isn't bad. We love it.

All my childhood holidays were camping and I absolutely hated it as a child and still hate it today.

Having to go out in the cold and dark in middle of the night to go to the loo. Never feeling clean. Bugs and spiders. Bad weather ruining things. Hearing everyone else. Nothing to do.

Not my idea of a holiday at all. More like my idea of hell.

where is OP? I hope she wasn't in the south of France

Last time we went camping, as a family in France, it was a nightmare. Constant thunder storms, noisy campsite, expensive food etc. 5 days in to a 2 week holiday we came home and dried out. The weather at home was glorious and had we basically had a fantastic week going on day trips. Have never camped abroad since. All agreed we will only do weekends in a quiet field with a real fire and not much else. Get yourself home!

@pollyflinderz I love nuts in May!

As the wife and mom, I would still be cooking, cleaning, picking up after everyone.All without a kitchen of course.So twice the work than at home. Then you throw in the mosquitoes,no bathrooms and no AC.
What's not to love?!?!?!
And I'm not even a city girl, LoL!!!
I sound spoiled, but that's just my complete and honest thoughts on it.
So girl, I totally understand!!!!😕😭

I can't sleep without my fan anyway....
I don't think our marriage would last a camping trip!!!

Would be nice to have an update on how things progressed .

As the wife and mom, I would still be cooking, cleaning, picking up after everyone.All without a kitchen of course.So twice the work than at home.

That’s a family dynamic issue, not a camping issue. Don’t marry and produce offspring with men who don’t pull their domestic weight ladies. This needs to be fucking branded onto men’s chests of something.

FYI it’s possible to fix the noisy campsite issue, leave the chikdren at home and go to quiet adults only campsites. Bliss.

With children it’s a bit harder admittedly as it’s orobanly your chikdren that are being noisy!