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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being unreasonable?

124 replies

Zoe614 · 08/08/2018 07:08

Hi!

A quick question for you all. So a bit of background, I’m 24 this year, and always spend it at the family home as I’ve no partner etc. I do still live at home at the weekends, but have to travel with work Monday to Friday.
My parents and I usually stay in and just have cake and watch a film etc. or go for a walk in the countryside.
However, this year, my dad is a season ticket holder at the local rugby club - and one of the matches falls on the Saturday of my birthday.
I approached my dad and asked him not to go and miss the game, as I want him to spend the day at home with me, but he is adamant that he refuses to miss it. He says that it is the one thing he has in his life that he enjoys to do for himself, paid all that money so doesn’t want to miss it. He said life shouldn’t all be about me all the time (as I often make it that way).
It is only for two hours in the afternoon yes, but I can’t help feeling really upset by it all, and like he doesn’t care about my day whatsoever. We have had huge arguments over it all.
Am I being unreasonable? Honest opinions welcome.

OP posts:
drumandthebass · 08/08/2018 07:55

Are you an only child OP?

WhatchaMaCalllit · 08/08/2018 07:56

You're 24. Why not get yourself a season ticket for the rugby and spend the time with your dad there?

Time to cut the apron strings a bit here...

Strawberry2017 · 08/08/2018 07:57

Don't think I believe this post is real, surely a 24 year old wouldn't think this is normal behaviour. YABU!

LeighaJ · 08/08/2018 07:58

@Zoe614

This isn't really about rugby is it? It's the fact that he didn't buy you a pony for your birthday that's really upsetting you, right? 🐎😏

Smoothsailing9 · 08/08/2018 07:58

What do you normally do when your birthday falls on a weekday and you’re not at home?

cricketmum84 · 08/08/2018 08:00

YABU and I don't often say that. You are a grown woman so start behaving like one! Stop throwing bloody tantrums about your dad missing a whole 2 hours of your birthday! You sound like an entitled brat.

BritInUS1 · 08/08/2018 08:01

Yes YABU

necromumda · 08/08/2018 08:02

Try to get out of this silly habit now OP. I have an acquaintance who is 50 and still has this "princes" attitude to HER DAY. You will only set yourself up for many years of disappointment and flounces. Just get on with enjoying your day like a normal adult.

Juells · 08/08/2018 08:02

Could anyone really be that self-obsessed?

necromumda · 08/08/2018 08:02

Princess that was

Bumdishcloths · 08/08/2018 08:03

YABU. You have a father to celebrate with, which is more than a lot of people have. He's right, everything is not about you, you're 24 years old not 24 months.

Waltzingmatilda65 · 08/08/2018 08:04

YABU organise a meal out in the evening or celebrate on the Sunday give your dad a break and try to go up a little. Your parents shouldn’t be guilt tripped about this. I also think you should apologize and maybe start looking for interests or friends of your own age so you are a little less reliant on your family for your only social outlet.

Lonecatwithkitten · 08/08/2018 08:05

You are a adult now, it is lovely that you like to spend time with your parents, but neither your nor their social life should entirely revolve around each other.
Your parents at a stage in the their that they should be able to socialise more as you are well able to look after yourself.
As a teenager I remember thinking my parents had very few friends, actually they had friends, but their lives were more tied by their children. I remember going to uni and being surprised by my Mum telling me who she was going out.
They need to build this support and social network so when you leave home and they eventually retire they have a social life. This is what your dad is doing through Rugby.
The odd year that we get to spend birthdays together now are great DP and my Mum are one day after each other and last year they were Saturday and Sunday. My sisters family was free too and we had a great weekend it felt very special as it doesn't happen often.

FoodGloriousFud · 08/08/2018 08:08

There's no way this is real, if it is it's a reverse. The way it's written is completely off. At weekends you stay in and eat cake with your parents?!

MakeMineATwin2 · 08/08/2018 08:08

Yes yabvu!

Mrsmadevans · 08/08/2018 08:09
Hmm
Excited0803 · 08/08/2018 08:09

You seem unusually dependent on your parents for a 24 year old. Why do you think that is? Do you have any friends or do you need to work out how to make some?

diddl · 08/08/2018 08:10

"always spend it at the family home as I’ve no partner etc."

And when you do have a partner "etc"?

He only wants to be out for 2hrs-it's unbelieveable that you even asked him not to go, let alone asked on here!

Do you often make it all about you?

SequinsOnEverything · 08/08/2018 08:13

Yes, yabu!

Billben · 08/08/2018 08:14

Grow up. You are 24. I’m shocked you don’t find your own behaviour embarrassing.

stillawakeat4amagain · 08/08/2018 08:15

ofc you are your 24 ffs

Slimmingsnake · 08/08/2018 08:16

For fuck sake...threads like this make me really cross.....some of us have real actual problems you know

Nofunkingworriesmate · 08/08/2018 08:17

If you have had rows about it, even if he said he would stay home now, how pleasant would it achually be ?
Why don't you go with him to make up for being a spoilt brat?

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/08/2018 08:18

It’s not as though you’re planning for a special day out and he’s won’t go. It’s a day at home. Instead of thinking about what you don’t have, think about what you do. Did he spend time with you when growing up for example?

MissusGeneHunt · 08/08/2018 08:18

Is this for real??!

If do, YABVVVU.

To a PP.... What's being an only child got to do with it?