Am I being unreasonable?

[Zoe614]

Hi!

A quick question for you all. So a bit of background, I’m 24 this year, and always spend it at the family home as I’ve no partner etc. I do still live at home at the weekends, but have to travel with work Monday to Friday.
My parents and I usually stay in and just have cake and watch a film etc. or go for a walk in the countryside.
However, this year, my dad is a season ticket holder at the local rugby club - and one of the matches falls on the Saturday of my birthday.
I approached my dad and asked him not to go and miss the game, as I want him to spend the day at home with me, but he is adamant that he refuses to miss it. He says that it is the one thing he has in his life that he enjoys to do for himself, paid all that money so doesn’t want to miss it. He said life shouldn’t all be about me all the time (as I often make it that way).
It is only for two hours in the afternoon yes, but I can’t help feeling really upset by it all, and like he doesn’t care about my day whatsoever. We have had huge arguments over it all.
Am I being unreasonable? Honest opinions welcome.

So your dad spends every birthday with you, but on this one year it falls at a time when there is a match he attends regularly. Of course YABU. Give him a break.

This can't be for real. But if it is, just to clarify OP, YABVVU

Yep YABU. You are 24 years of age! I would also go to the rugby. When you are an adult birthdays do not really matter unless maybe if it is an '0'.

One day you wont want to spend birthday with parents so best to be a bit flexible.

You can still do film/walk/cake around the rugby or without him or move to other day.

Bloody hell. How long is everyone expected to stop everything for your birthday? Until you're 30? 40?

YABU. If you had a day out or something planned, that the rugby would mean he'd miss, I'd maybe understand a bit more. But if you're just staying in all day or maybe going for a walk, he can still do all that with you and go and enjoy the rugby in the afternoon.

I am not sure that this post is genuine

I think if you had something specific planned for the day then fair enough but I you’re expecting him to just stay at home to keep you company I can kind of see his point.
I suspect there is a bit more to all of this though; is your relationship with your dad quite tricky?

Surely this is a reverse? You're 24, let your parents have some time to themselves at the weekend and spend your birthday with friends!

YABU, you’re 24 and need to grow up a bit.

Goodness me, to say that he doesn’t care about your day whatsoever is being really over dramatic. All so that you and your parents can stay in and eat cake.

You are being unreasonable. Of course your dad should be free to go to the rugby match. Do something with your parents in the evening. And maybe you could grow up a wee bit too?

Are you the mum, by any chance?!

Yes I thinkYABU. Surely you can celebrate your birthday the day after instead?

Wow, you sound really immature, and spoiled. Do you have any siblings? Do they spend their birthdays at home?

I don't think this is real

You are 24! Not 2. Get a grip and allow the man to enjoy his rugby.

YABU

It is only for two hours in the afternoon

So have a party after he comes home, that way you both get what you want.

When I was 24 , my dad had been dead 4 years and I'd been married 1 year...time for you to grow up!

Sorry but yes completely unreasonable

Why can't you spend the time after the rugby together, if it's "only 2 hours" rather than make him cancel his plans?

I think that yabu too. It would be different if you all had something planned and booked, but you can’t expect your dad to stay in to watch a film instead of going to a match which he has a season ticket for.

This year my husband and older daughter are going to a concert on my birthday which means I am staying in with my younger one.
I will get a takeaway and a bottle of wine and enjoy myself, and either do something with them before they go or do something the following day.

Sorry, OP, agree with others. YABU. I can kind of understand where you are coming from, though. (A little bit)

My mum is a Jehovah’s Witness & so doesn’t even recognise my birthday. It’s been over 20 years, I’ve just turned 47, & still sulk about it!

That 2 hours you are missing? I would love my mum to spend that with me, having lunch for my birthday, but it isn’t going to happen.

Please cherish what you have.

YABU!
Go out for a meal in the evening or the next day or something. Have some cake when he gets back.
I usually celebrate with my parents too but by that I mean we’ll go out for a meal in the evening or at the weekend. I wouldn’t expect my dad to miss his football match, I’d just save him some cake!

What will happen when you move out? You'll probably make different plans. I'd bet you'd not be that bothered if those plans excluded your parents.

My dd will be 24 this year. She's living at home whilst saving for a deposit. Her birthday falls between Christmas and New Year. Some years she's wanted to go for a meal or something and others she's made plans with friends. It's entirely her choice. She doesn't expect me to hold onto a whole day for her in case she wants to spend it with me.

It's my birthday in 2 weeks. I wouldn't expect her to drop her plans to do anything either.

This can’t be real. 24. Seriously, no way.

YABU and rather weird.