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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Celebrities should at least be civil?

133 replies

Aprilsinparis · 06/08/2018 10:26

AIBU to at least expect Celeb's to be civil, when approached. I understand they may be having a bad day, but because they are celeb's the impression they leave with fans will last a life time good or bad.

OP posts:

noeffingidea · 06/08/2018 13:03

Hopeandeggs that person from the tv entertainment show wouldn't have the initials RW would they? I heard a story about him being a wanker.

HelpTheTigers · 06/08/2018 13:05

NoCanoe. Yes, I think that I will!

I need to change the details slightly from my email to the MN mods and wait for OP to do some redacting when he gets home later, to anonymise the photograph as it includes my Twitter name and other identifying words. Thanks for the encouragement though, it makes me feel a bit more confident.

alfagirl73 · 06/08/2018 13:05

YABU - these people aren't "tourist attractions" - they do a job and the rest of the time have the right to go about their business as they need to without harassment and constant demands.

If I see a famous person out and about I generally leave them alone. If it is someone I particularly like/admire and it's a rare opportunity to say hello/compliment their work, I will assess the situation, consider if it is appropriate to approach them (if they are having dinner/lunch/are with family etc then absolutely not!) - and I will POLITELY ask if they mind my saying hi - if they are open to that I will speak to them as a human being FIRST - rather than just demand a selfie/autograph. If it still feels appropriate and I really want a picture I will again, ask politely, if they mind. More often than not, people are accommodating when you approach them with courtesy and respect.

I am also always mindful that if approaching a celebrity in their own time when they are "off duty" so to speak, then there is a chance I will catch them on a really bad day - they may be not feeling well, have had bad news, have other stresses going on, or simply might just want peace... they are not obliged to "perform" as the artiste they are known as. If it is not a good time for them, I don't take it personally - I apologise for disturbing them and go on my way.

In my experience (and I know quite a few famous people quite well) - people are very quick to complain that a "celebrity" is rude - when actually - the person who approached them was extremely rude in the first place. Treating a person - any person - with courtesy and consideration goes a long way!

noeffingidea · 06/08/2018 13:08

As far as celebrities go generally, it doesn't really bother me if they're rude to people who pester them in the street or when they're with their kids or whatever. I only judge them when you hear stories about them being rude to waiting staff, airport workers and the like, or coworkers who are in a 'lower'position to themselves. Yes , I am looking at you Cilla luv.

IrmaFayLear · 06/08/2018 13:10

I did that awful thing a while ago when I saw someone I knew from somewhere and smiled and said, "Hello." It then dawned on me after we'd passed by each other that they were actually in Line of Duty They were very nice though and smiled and said hello back.

I agree with poster upthread who noted that often teachers/doctors etc are local celebrities. If I went out with dsis every other kid was saying, "Hello Mrs L!" (titter titter, snigger, collapsing in giggles etc etc) . Dh used to work in Waitrose when he was at school and there would be great hilarity at his Physics teacher buying loo roll every week.

GabsAlot · 06/08/2018 13:49

i used to follow a couple of famous people in my teens-i realise now how inappropriate it was standing out9side their house then going to where they were for the day/night

it must have been horrendous most of the time they were good about though i dont know how!

cant wait for the reveal tiger

2010Aussie · 06/08/2018 14:16

I agree that it depends on the circumstances. Celebrities have a right to a private life and if they are shopping in Sainsbury's, they should be left alone.

I used to live in a part of the Home Counties which was teeming with celebs. But, because I don't watch TV, not heavily into sport and my knowledge of pop music stopped in 1976, I often didn't recognise them. I remember chatting away quite happily in the queue for the Post Office to a famous footballer about how slowly the queue was moving etc etc. He was really nice and seemed happy not to be recognised. I had no idea who he was until someone told me after he had gone. Then I had to Google his name.

Goth237 · 06/08/2018 14:16

I think YABU. They are human beings and I'm sure that they get approached all the time. As people have said, if it were an event where they planned to meet lots of people, then of course they should be civil. But if they're just going about their own business then they have no obligation to anyone. You have avoided telling anyone how she wasn't civil... I'm a bit suspicious tbh .

VanGoghsDog · 06/08/2018 15:19

@BrazzleDazzleDay - I see my fave band on VIP tickets when I can (twice so far this year, on more to go) - if it's the same band, no, they are a delight. I think most bands appreciate their fans and try to do stuff for them.

(does it begone with J???)

ChelleDawg2020 · 06/08/2018 15:27

I think YANBU to expect them to be civil, but try to be kind and remember everyone has bad days. "Celebrities" love attention, they crave it, it's just like with anything people want the positives but not the negatives.

Personally I wouldn't bother most "celebrities" if they were just going about their business. I tend to just stare, half awestruck, half just trying to be certain whether it is really them or not. Eg the time I saw Paul Putner at the height of his "Curious Orange" fame in Virgin Megastore in London... at least I think it was him, and I think my stare would have really unsettled him if it wasn't!

BrazzleDazzleDay · 06/08/2018 15:36

VanGoghsDog no not a j

Hopeandeggs · 06/08/2018 18:23

@noeffingidea no it was a contestant on an entertainment show and they didn't even win!

That said I have come across RW through work and if it's who you mean he can be a bit temperamental. I've actually met him twice in the same day and had two completely different experiences but actually mostly he has been lovely.
The only time I've felt he was a bit up himself was when he attended a VIP only party for someone else but retreated for the whole night into a room with security on the door to stop people getting in while much bigger celebs partied with us!

Raven88 · 06/08/2018 18:29

Who was it?

FishingIsNotASport · 06/08/2018 18:57

I have only once in my life asked for an autograph from a famous person. It was Nick Park, creator of Wallace and Grommit and 6 time Oscar winner. I was at the airport and saw this chap I recognised. I honestly thought I knew him, and that if I went over he would say "Oh hi Fishing, fancy seeing you here". Then I realised who it was. After our flight I was stood close to him in the baggage reclaim area, and knowing my DD1 would never forgive me for not approaching him, I started up a conversation. He could not have been nicer, or more humble. I explained my DD was studying Model Making and Character Creation at uni' and he took a real interest. He drew and signed a picture of Grommit for my daughter - she has it in a frame. I've come across other celebs and z listers, but never approached - even Danny DeVito in New York, and I'm a huge fan of his, but he was with a friend and enjoying a quiet chat in a bar.

W0rriedMum · 06/08/2018 19:19

@HelpTheTigers - I want to read your thread!!! Please post it. We will crowdfund for a solicitor if you get sued.

Sparklesocks · 06/08/2018 19:25

Although celebrities are used to being approached, and have had media training etc, but they are still human. They still have bad days, they still walk around with worries and concerns. I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect them to be ‘on’ all the time.

Also, context is important. If they’re having a meal, having time with their kids, having a romantic date..these are not good times to pounce and insist on a selfie!!

HelpTheTigers · 06/08/2018 20:08

@WOrriedMum - ha ha, the celeb can't sue me as it's true! I have photographic evidence and as long as it's true, there can be no case to answer. Celeb can whistle.
I have calmed down about it though and the celeb did write something nice in my other half's book so I don't think that I should name and shame. I'm going to try and pixel out the signature and other details, or maybe just post a photo of The Word That I Found Offensive.
It was pretty mean though, what celeb did. Celeb also said that they had written the same word in another woman's book (apparently for the same reason why he wrote it in mine) and she was so annoyed that she stormed out and refused to take the book. Celeb obviously has trouble learning lessons. Or maybe celeb is just an arse, and a rude, misogynistic one at that!

3luckystars · 06/08/2018 20:16

I wonder if celebrities ever spot someone looking at them and go over to them? There must be some on here.

Sarah Jessica Parker though, nobody likes her anyway so she should just be herself.

3luckystars · 06/08/2018 20:24

PLEASE REVEAL!!!

The most exiting thing I did today was food shopping.

Sweetpea55 · 06/08/2018 20:48

Sue Pollard was in the same pub as my daughter, She was SUPER friendly, sang Happy Birthday to my daughter and bought her a drink..a really lovely lady

NoCanoe · 06/08/2018 21:23

@HelpTheTigers.
Im getting more interested - nice message in your OP's, but something crude in yours ?

Definitely intrigued as to both messages now. The comparison will be of some interest.

Please post!!

3luckystars · 06/08/2018 21:35

Just tell me it’s not Rick Stein.

Timefortea99 · 06/08/2018 21:40

Dave Grohl was in a long queue at an airport in LA. He was chatting to everybody in the queue. Mega friendly even after getting off a flight. He was with his family. Sometimes the bigger the star the more chilled they are. David Bowie used to walk around NY unrecognised. Apparently he carried a French newspaper to throw people off the scent. A lot of people can pass unnoticed. Although why should they? They should be able to walk around without people bothering them. I think Cher said once that people did not want to see celebrities, they wanted the celeb to see them. An element of truth in that I think.

Same queue, very minor British z lister giving it the Big I Am even though nobody was interested. Nobody would be even if Grohl was not in the same queue.

AJPTaylor · 06/08/2018 22:06

I just dont get the whole meeting a celeb thing. Dh is tall and very good at celeb spotting. He works in central london, near the bbc. I fail to recognise life long friends if i am not expecting to see them.
Dh is happy just to have seen them. He would never bother them or take a photo. If we go to see someone like a comedian he will happily get an autograph or a pic because thats the work part. People have a right to a private life.

JaneJeffer · 06/08/2018 22:11

Sarah Jessica Parker though, nobody likes her anyway so she should just be herself why not? She looks very smiley and nice.

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