wedding shower invite

[ambereeree]

When did this become a thing? Even more annoying than baby showers.

What is it? At what point do you have it?

Is it in addition to or instead of a hen do? What does the invite say?

Is it instead of a hen do?!

Its not a thing here. I have only heard of it in American movies or on tv.

What's a wedding shower? Where does it come in :

Engagement party
Hen/Stag do
Wedding

This seems to be a thing now, I was at one last weekend. It reminded me of the 'Showing of Presents' that people used to have years ago.

When I got married my mum had relatives round the Sunday before to her house to look at presents, leave presents in. Well it was more for a drink and a catch up. It was mainly for older relatives and extended. family of which we have loads. Not the same people that were invited to the hen night.

This is twenty years ago, is it just a variation on that?

Do you have to give a gift at the wedding too? So that's 2 separate gifts. Well f#@k that

Its before the hen do. Oh and you take a present according to another friend who also received an invite.
I'm not sure what actually happens though.

Are you in the U.K.? The only time I've heard of this is on the film Bridesmaids where she has that meltdown "stupid fucking cookie!". Hilarious!

So maybe by 'wedding shower' point the wedding party will be so sick of the indulgence that tempers will be frayed...

I wouldn't know what's to do for a wedding shower? Is it about pampering the bride a bit more? Or is it for the groom to be too? Bridal shower? I'd probably just decline to save the aggro.

Good lord, so we have :

Engagement party (P)
Wedding shower (P)
Hen do
Wedding (P)

That's potentially three (P) presents, plus the hens probably paying something towards the BTB's costs at the hen do.

I think I'd give it a miss, amber

If you’re going to the hen and the wedding I wouldn’t go - sounds like another gift grab!
Mad how people think others give half as much of a shit as they do about their wedding!!

I've just Googled it. A bridal shower is just for the BTB (obv!), but a wedding shower is for both bride and groom.

Oh fuck! I've actually been to one.

It was just in a village hall with about half a glass of warm prosecco per person, some balloons and some sandwiches. We just sat around at tables, and I think someone made a speech about how much they were looking forward to the wedding.

It was shite and I didn't bring a gift

Totally forgot all about it!

That reminds me I once went to a pre-wedding barbecue at the bride and grooms house. It was lovely and informal and they held it so that those of us at the wedding who didn't know anyone would know some people and enjoy the wedding more. That was a lovely idea. But we weren't expected to bring presents.

I had a ‘bridal shower’. It was basically a BBQ at my parents house for local friends and family. I didn’t have a hen do though and no one brought presents (nor would I have expected them to).

The reason being is that my friends are spread out across three countries and I no longer live in my home country, so I wanted a quiet celebration with family and friends (90% of whom couldn’t attend our wedding as we married in the country we live in). I didn’t have a hen do though as I was in the middle of professional exams that summer and it would have been prohibitively expensive for everyone because of the travel (and I didn’t want to be that dickhead).

It was a really nice little party at home and a lovely send off. I can see doing an afternoon tea or something for older relatives (who wouldn’t attend the hen do) or in place of a hen do. But it’s pretty cheeky to do both and invite the same people and to expect a present for anything other than your actual wedding.

Dear people getting married.

Here is the thing, no one except you and probably your parents gives a shiny shite that you are getting married.
People are happy for you and excited to share your day but no one cares nearly as much as you do. No one wants to go to a fucking wedding shower. They are most likely spending a small fortune on clothes, gifts, transport and possibly hotels just to see you get married.
Stop all this look at me bullshitery.

It's am excuse to get more presents. Bridal shower, hen do, stag do, engagement party, wedding. Just a way of milking it.

My cousin held a bridal shower for me but my husband-to-be was there and only her family (including my aunt and uncle) and my mum. She had a newborn too, bless her. We played some silly games and ate some cake, it was very relaxed, at my aunt's house, and no presents involved!

She had a kind of bridal shower for her own wedding but it was one of the activities for the hens so little extra effort was required. It was about 12 years ago, though, so before so much of the American influence from shows like Bridezillas.

A gift ceases to be a gift when it is expected/demanded.

If you’re required to take a gift, then I’d say this is getting close to the definition of 'extortion'.

Personally I would rsvp, "regret, we are unable to attend due to a subsequent engagement" ( and, yes, I do know what 'subsequent' means . )

I’ve been to a pre wedding bbq at the brides parent’s house, where the British bride and groom lived in the US and lots of people had travelled from abroad to London for the wedding. It was lovely and gave everyone a chance to meet. No hen or stag dos in the uk and a standard John Lewis gift list.

I'm in the UK but I'm now seeing more of these American traditions creep in.
The wedding is abroad so I won't be going but am expected to go to the hen (where we pay for a spa weekend for bride and ourselves) and this wedding shower. think i might give it all a miss!

FFS wedding shower!! Jesus people are getting more and more money grabbing. Why on earth do you even need a wedding shower???

I'd be giving that one a wide berth.

I just think of course you should get to celebrate getting married. It's called your wedding day!

"Sorry, I have a previous engagement". Thrn make sure you do something far less shite and cringeworthy on the day!