wedding shower invite

[ambereeree]

When did this become a thing? Even more annoying than baby showers.

Has her dog just had puppies? 🤣🤣🤣

I was asked to host a Bridal Shower for a cousin from the USA who was getting married in England. I was told that I needed to provide drinks (alcoholic), food, cakes, party games, gift momentos for the people attending as well as a gift for the bride. I was given a list of 16 people who were friends of the bride who would be attending. I was also told what an honour this was for me to be able to host it. This was on top of a hens night and a wedding present. It was all far too over the top, expensive and unneccesary in my opinion and still rankles being put in that position years later!!

My DD and BF hosted a party when they got engaged a year ago, to introduce their respective scattered school, uni and work friends who hadn't met the respective other halves yet during the work/ professional exam laden previous couple of years. No gifts were expected or given, though some cards and flowers very kindly brought.

The very low key hen night is being organised amongst the bridesmaids - not expensive, only one person has to travel here to London and the date was arranged to suit her. No gifts here, clearly .

There is a family only dinner a few days before the wedding to introduce some members from either side who are flying in.

Wedding list ( registry) if required for those who want to give a gift. Zero pressure.

The average guest for this wedding can get here by public transport, drive or short cab ride and get home easily that night - we deliberately didn't choose the 'stunning but remote and unconnected with anyone' option for venue because it does usually cause complications re time and cost for guests.

You're supposed to "Shower" recipient with gifts and treats, that's the meaning of the term, and these money grabbing events

The American custom was originally that the BTB had a sedate bridal shower with close friends and older female relatives from both sides while the GTB had a wild bachelor party (stag night). No hen night. The bachelorette party was added more recently (80s/90s) to redress this really sexist tradition.

I’m American.
So it’s generally a bridal shower (or wedding shower if the groom plans to be there) before the “hen/stag”/bachelorette and bachelor parties.
Engagement parties aren’t terribly common, this tends to be what happens instead here. In addition our hen/stag stuff is usually just a small night out before the wedding and nothing on the scale of the stag and hen dos I saw while living in Wales (whole weeks or weekends abroad in Marbella or Ibiza on the lash..). It tends to be the brides family and grooms family getting together with the bride and her friends to welcome her to the family.

I’m off to my brother’s wedding shower next weekend and it’s a backyard bbq with no gifts. Just a chance for the families and parties to meet one another before the big day next month. I’m looking forward to meeting future SILs closest friends and family as we will all be busy on the day of the wedding.

@bluebird3
We wrote basically the exact same thing and I hadn’t read your post, so I think we’re on to something with what the American traditions are. I think this is just a weird UK spin on something American and it’s being turned into a grabby present thing.