wedding shower invite

[ambereeree]

When did this become a thing? Even more annoying than baby showers.

I know of a few people who have had them instead of hen do. And the wedding present is given then before the wedding.

Oh it's to make sure those not going to wedding as it's abroad still buy gifts 😂😂

Surely you take a gift to either shower or wedding? When I've been to a baby shower and took a present I only buy a token gift once baby arrives.

Sorry but I already have a baby shower, a stag do, an actual wedding and a divorce party that week. I'm fully booked.

You have to take a gift to a shower (shower is short for 'shower with gifts'). If someone does not want to oblige people to bring gifts for the honouree, then the gathering should not be billed as a shower.

Shower-type gift can also mean small/useful/inexpensive - and should be things that the person would have no need for before marriage (or maternity, if baby shower).

If you have given a gift at a shower, you do not have give again when the actual event rolls round. You also do not have to attend a shower, if that style of gift-giving arty isn't for you.

Bridal and baby showers have been around for ages. Not so sure about a wedding one for both B&G - it always used to be a custom for a group of women launching one of their number into a new stage of life. I suspect that men joining in is more recent.

I have never heard of this "tradition" before.
Weddings seem to be so much more about consumerism these days.

I understood that you gave your present at the shower so that the B&G didn't need to cart them all back from the actual wedding? So a guest wouldn't be giving twice. Would explain why they're having one if the wedding is abroad? Still looks grabby AF though- "you might not be coming to the wedding but it doesn't mean you can get out of giving us a gift!"

You'd think they'd have died a death in the US with the advent of couples just asking for cash or online gift registries where gifts are just sent to the B&G's house rather than actually becoming a "thing" in the UK. Suppose some people just love another excuse to be a bit self indulgent.

When I was younger, I’m 45 now. I can always remember if any of my neighbors got married they would have a show of presents. You would take your gift and all the other wedding gifts would be on display. Drink, nibbles would be out. This was the normal thing years ago. I’m in Scotland

I've never heard of these. I'd think it was maybe a good idea if it was the idea to bring the present to the shower instead of the wedding. Even with gift lists being the norm, pocketless wedding outfits and tiny bags can make even just the card a pain to hang on to until you find the card box/present table. But if it's a present as well as a present at the wedding then I think that's ridiculous.

I had a ‘bridal shower’. It was basically a BBQ at my parents house for local friends and family. I didn’t have a hen do though and no one brought presents (nor would I have expected them to)

Did you call it a shower though? If you did, I'm really surprised nobody brought a present. Showers mean 'to shower with gifts'. If I was invited to one I would assume that a gift was expected by the host.

What you actually had sounds more like a hen do for both sexes. Which is lovely and makes so much sense that separate hen and stag dos when most couples have friends of both sexes and mutual friends.

Wedding Day. The key is in the name DAY. One day, one not seven.

And don't expect people to fly to Outer Mongolia for it.

Hen Do should be close friends going out and getting lashed in their local town and having a kebab on the way home. Why do people have to go to Vegas for a week for their hen/stag do.

I used to have a friend who had a 'birthday week'. She probably still does, and she'll be 36 now! She's definitely the kind of person to have a wedding shower.

HarrietKettle

Ah - yes, I have a birthweek too. But only 1 present and it's more "please will you wash up it's my birthweek".

I've never taken a gift to a hen do - my attendance is gift enough! :-)

the whole concept of 'send off', 'new life' - come off it. Unless you have neither lived together nor shagged (and if that's the case, you are a bit daft getting married, it is 2018) then nothing will actually change after the frilly frock day.

stop the pretence.

Oh I'd just say no. Hen dos are bad enough but that just sounds fucking tedious.

I've happily declined invites to all baby shower things for the same reason.

I'm American and we don't usually have an engagement party. And if you do it's more of a cocktail party and presents wouldn't be expected. Then you have the bridal shower which is just women - mostly family (mum, aunties, Nan, etc) and a few close friends. Gifts expected but usually in the £15 range. Bachelorette parties are much smaller and less £££ than hen dos. They tend to be just a big night out and you might splurge for a limo or party bus but not a weekend away with activities. Wouldn't spend more than £50. Then for the wedding, gifts are expected but you would spend £30-50 range.

So all in for an American wedding I would spend £120 for a close friend. I don't think it's that bad compared to weddings over here where you spend £200+ with the hen weekend. It's just different.

In the US we have wedding shower(s). No present at bachelorette party. One present can do for both shower and wedding present. Often, it's a themed couples shower. Sometimes there are more than one, often for older female relatives and friends of bride's and groom's mothers and other friends who are not in wedding party.

Oh and we ALWAYS have lots of food!!!

I totally agree with Simonbridges, people are so self absorbed, me me me, when us it going to stop?

Wedding shower
Hen party/weekend
Wedding
Baby shower

Wtf hahaha they have this in bridesmaids don’t they. Are you in the uk? Just because I think it might be another American thing that’s coming over.

People used to have a "show of presents". Sounds like the same thing. Last one I heard of was in the 80s.

I'm not sure I've personally even known anyone to have an engagement party and the ones I've heard about having them have been for young couples (maybe because they could easily change their mind so best party straight away) and they seemed to be for mates rather than family.

Oh, I do remember one of my older DB's having an engagement party 30 years ago. They split up before the wedding and engagement presents were returned.

If it is instead of a hen night I guess it's ok.

Don't forget the 'Honeymoon Party's!

Gender reveal parties....

Dear god! Just NO. Decline before this becomes a thing like those expensive hen/stag dos abroad and expecting everyone to pay for the hen or stag, destination weddings and expecting guests to pay for your honeymoon.

Amongst those I know (I'm in the US) it's pretty much;

Engagement party-usually given by Bride's parents to 'announce' the engagement. No gifts

Bridal shower- given by close friend of the bride, never a relative . Gifts expected but usually inexpensive. Often it's a 'designated' shower, i.e. 'kitchen shower' where the bride receives gadgets and inexpensive cooking dishes/baking items

Bachelorette party-this is 'after my time' and seems to have started in the 80s (?) in answer to the stag party. Usually a 'night on the town'. No gifts, but the bride is often 'treated' by the rest of the party.

Wedding-gifts expected based on giver's budget. I've heard of 'cover your plate', but this is NOT something expected where I live (Western US).