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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not want to have homeless people with complex needs placed in the house next door to me?

460 replies

StressedandNameChanged · 05/08/2018 23:57

I live in a 2 storey terraced house in a small residential street in an area with lots of rows of similar small terraced houses. It’s not the smartest area of town and hasn’t had the best reputation, but it was affordable when we moved here over 15 years ago, and we have been happy here. I live with my dh, and my youngest ds 12.

The end terrace house next door to me was bought by a private investment company earlier this year, and I recently found out that this was part of an organisation which combines property investment with supported housing. Following a lot of enquiries on my part, I found out that they planned to use the house as a house share for 5 vulnerable adults with complex needs and a history of homelessness. Complex needs means at least 2 of the following issues: substance misuse; history of offending; history of anti-social behaviour; mental health problems.

Communications with the organisations who will be managing the property have been problematic. They were initially very evasive, but once I had more info, the housing manager agreed to come to a residents’ association meeting to discuss the plans for the property. It didn’t go very well. On the agenda at the same meeting were problems with an existing supported housing project in the neighbourhood, where due to staffing issues and some challenging clients, the police are being called out every night.

The housing manager later offered to come and speak with dh and myself but as we were away at the time, we said we would arrange a date when we got back. Unfortunately, while we were away a neighbour put up some very offensive signs around the property, including some in my garden and went to the local paper. (This may be the same neighbour who has also been cutting cctv cables at the property). Since we got back we have tried to get in touch but no response. There is a meeting set up with the neighbourhood policing team and others, but the housing managers are not available to attend that either.

Meanwhile I have heard from elsewhere that at least one tenant would be moving into the property in 2 weeks’ time. I think the company running the property are trying to get it as a done deal with people living there before talking to anyone.

I know people can change and this is hopefully a good opportunity for the people who will be placed next door, but I also know there is no magic wand for people who have struggled with multiple serious issues for several years, and there will be relapses. I am worried about the location and the suitability of the property for this use. Most people who have suffered high levels of trauma and are trying to move away from a chaotic lifestyle want their own place where they can control their surroundings, not a shared house. I am worried about 5 vulnerable adults being housed together in a small Victorian terraced house with poor sound proofing. Many houses around here are used for student housing and they live 5 to a house, but they are groups of friends who choose to live together, and they can usually escape to their parents’ homes for a break. I know from experience the level of disruption just one tenant in a shared house can cause if they kick off, mainly to the other tenants but also to the neighbours. I am worried about some of the visitors they will attract. I am worried about the possible high turnover of tenants. I am worried about the potential disturbance for ourselves and other neighbours. I know what the streets around other hostels are like, and I will not feel safe if my street becomes like that. I am worried about the failure of the people managing the property to communicate, which doesn’t bode well if problems do occur. I am stressed out and losing sleep worrying about it.

Yes, I know I am being the very definition of a NIMBY, but I am amazed that this sort of facility can be placed in a residential street without any consultation with neighbours, the local authorities, the police or any existing services in the area.

OP posts:
Devilishpyjamas · 06/08/2018 09:36

They ARE placed in leafy suburbs.

Hawkie · 06/08/2018 09:36

but the ‘complex needs’ noted above heightens that nervousness but a hell of a lot of people with complex needs live and function perfectly well in society without causing any disturbance to anyone.

A person with asthma and depression is classed as complex needs; do you think every asthmatic with depression is a drug-fuelled, alcohol loving, partying to 4am individual??

Mrsmadevans · 06/08/2018 09:37

I realise you feel anxious over this but in my own experience these ppl are supervised 24/7 and have someone responsible for them, in the house at all times, forgive me if l am wrong in your case.
I also feel that a lot of these homeless ppl have just been extremely badly treated by life and need a lot of help and support to get back on their feet. I hope you will feel much happier about this when you actually get to meet the people. Also the home owners were so successful in the one l knew they actually wanted to buy the next door property and inquired of them to purchase it. So .... l suppose if it is terrible for you then they may buy your house off you .
Good luck OP l so hope your worst fears don't happen, l am sure it will all be ok Flowers

IrmaFayLear · 06/08/2018 09:38

This issue has occurred near me. A private landlord is renting a house to homeless with substance abuse problems.

Unfortunately drug pushers are turning up day and night (and particularly night) and also in addition to the official residents other people are coming and going and staying.

The neighbours are upset as they have children and there has been considerable anti-social behaviour.

The council "are dealing with it" because it is not an "official" supported home. Also nearby is a hostel for recently-released prisoners. Occasionally one or two have to be rounded up, but they have caused no problems, as they are monitored and supported well.

Hawkie · 06/08/2018 09:40

@Devilishpyjamas There's no point in restating that - everyone just likes to say how the wealthy aren't lumbered with people like me (I totally agree with you that hostels are everywhere, most people just don't realise it as to protect those who are vulnerable they don't come with neon signs stating their locations and the tenants don't cause disruption)

IrmaFayLear · 06/08/2018 09:40

When I say "anti-social behaviour" I mean really anti-social behaviour. A stabbing in the garden and the bloody knife thrown into the neighbour's garden Shock !

GluteusMaximus00 · 06/08/2018 09:40

My son lives with five other residents in a house that is staffed 24 hours by professional caring staff with training in mental health difficulties, learning disabilities and autism. I cannot fault the home or the staff.

Currently, he is working hard with the staff and others to reach the point where he is able to live more independently. This may well be in shared accommodation. Before he leaves, not only will he have to have evidenced sufficient independent living skills to manage living in a less supported environment but he will have a package of support and activities around him (including some form of occupation and/or education).

In the area in which he lives at the moment, people are really understanding and tolerant. He had a terrific meltdown (screaming and howling) in the street a little time ago, and the staff from the local bookmakers stayed with him and helped him to calm down. the staff in his local shop know him by name and will help him with his purchases, residents will stop and talk to him.

I would hate to think people like my son would move into an area where neighbours cut the CCTV cables and express such open hostility.

chicken75 · 06/08/2018 09:42

Hi Op. I am pretty sure I live in the same town as you, but in one of the other rougher areas.
The house op is talking about is absolutely wrong for this purpose. It's an area that struggles with antisocial behaviour, violent crime and drug dealing is very common.
It's a very built up area and quite crowded with houses. There are 2 very close primary schools and a college.

Op, your neighbour is a pillock, have seen the signs and newspaper articles. I have to say that from reports I've seen it will be homeless heroin addicts. Whether this is 100% accurate I don't know.
There are properties in the area that would be much more suitable and most likely in a safer environment for future residents.

Get of your high horse Rosy, as usual you have jumped to conclusions.

Neshoma · 06/08/2018 09:42

Gosh Hawkie, how many homeless people do you know?

MadMags · 06/08/2018 09:43

And just to add, I have a 17 year old child with all the issues you describe. He has lived in multiple group homes - I think these are far more common here in the USA (or at least California where I live) than in the UK. And will probably be in many more to come over the next decade (if he lives that long). I am not quite sure where you think my child should live

Er, with you? The person actually responsible for him?

OP, you were always going to attract holier than thou virtue signallers. The people who fall over themselves to shout you down about intolerance, and stigmatizing, and disablist attitudes.

Guaranteed 99% of them aren’t living next to supported housing.

You are not the devil incarnate for being unsure and a little apprehensive. You’ve just attracted a band on non-sensical hysterics.

Hopefully you can wade through it and get some actual advice.

Personally, I’d be looking at selling up if I was that uncomfortable.

Hawkie · 06/08/2018 09:45

@Neshoma Around 500, probably more. Had you read the full thread you would see I am currently homeless.

Hawkie · 06/08/2018 09:47

It's an area that struggles with antisocial behaviour, violent crime and drug dealing is very common.

I therefore don't see how things can get worse. Or are the residents just going to start blaming the current behaviour on the new hostel tenants? If the are is like you have described already then I really don't understand the OPs views.

FissionChips · 06/08/2018 09:47

Are people with complex needs not entitled to try and live as independent and full life as possible away from their parents madmags? Not many adults want to live with their parents forever.

Nooblynoo · 06/08/2018 09:48

They wouldn’t dream of plonking this into the middle of Waitrose-land

Yes they do.

They most certainly do. Do you live in a town with a Waitrose? Do you actually know the make up of your neighbourhood? I would say no. Clearly.

LlamaPyjamas · 06/08/2018 09:49

YABU. The council has done something similar in our village. They bought a house that’s occupied on a rotating basis by six 16-18yo who will shortly age out of the care system. There are carers present on a rota. Since then the crime rate in our small rural village has gone through the roof. Numerous fires since a teen with a history of arson moved in. Superglue squirted in people’s locks. Shouting abuse because a resident “looked at me funny”. Girls lying in the middle of the road to get run over because they’re depressed. Screaming at all hours of the night. Etc etc. YANBU to be concerned. I’d sell up and move ASAP before there’s a history of crime that prevents you selling.

LlamaPyjamas · 06/08/2018 09:49

I meant YANBU obv!

Devilishpyjamas · 06/08/2018 09:50

Er, with you? The person actually responsible for him

Oh do fuck odd dear. My son lived at home until he was 17 as well. By the time he left he needed 24 hour 2;1 care. Sometimes life isn’t simple. If people are in group homes/supported living/residential homes they usually have significant problems than cannot be supported in a family home.

llangennith · 06/08/2018 09:55

YANBU. It would bother most people.

YeTalkShiteHen · 06/08/2018 09:56

Our local town had homes for war veterans with combat related PTSD built recently and a lot of people got angry and made assumptions, as they did when a block of flats was turned into scatter flats for homeless people waiting for an actual property of their own.

All the panic and mob mentality was a complete waste of time, because in actual fact the people who live in these homes are like anyone else, they just want somewhere safe to be.

Unless you’ve been homeless you cannot know how stressful and demoralising it is. I spent a few months in a homeless hostel in Edinburgh and it was hard. Luckily I made some good friends, 7 of them. I’m the only one still alive 15 years later and that’s something that stays with me.

I was lucky, my friends weren’t.

What I guess I’m trying to say is that assumptions, labels and all the rest of it dehumanises people.

OP none of this has happened yet. You can’t know what’s going to happen, so the best suggestion I’ve seen is keep an open mind and record any issues (if there are any).

MadMags · 06/08/2018 09:57

How nice of you to tell me to fuck off, when my post wasn’t even to you but to another poster who’s child is still a teen.

Stay classy, won’t you?

YeTalkShiteHen · 06/08/2018 09:58

Sorry, does empathy include having to listen to drum n bass at full volume for 12chours at a stretch. Or hearing people shouting and swearing, pissed out of their heads? Cunt this and cunt that at the top of their lungs

Yes because all homeless people are inconsiderate arseholes eh? Do me a favour Hmm

Yet another assumption designed to dehumanise people who aren’t as fortunate as you are.

MadMags · 06/08/2018 09:58

Are people with complex needs not entitled to try and live as independent and full life as possible away from their parents madmags? Not many adults want to live with their parents forever.

Absolutely! As my children will be. But until they’re adults, they’re my responsibility.

Devilishpyjamas · 06/08/2018 09:59

I have known the poster for years (on here) and she is a good, caring parent. Her child clearly has significant issues - given the assumption you made about her you no doubt would make the same about me (son moved into a residential home aged 17).

I find a well placed fuck off classier than a truckload of ignorance tbh.

scarbados · 06/08/2018 10:00

Presumably the OP also wants to be able to 'interview' and decide who can buy other houses in the same road? I didn't realise we had appointed 'property police' who decide where we can and can't live.

YeTalkShiteHen · 06/08/2018 10:00

MadMags I don’t know the post you’re talking about but I will say that in some instances it is better for the child to have full time residential qualified support in a care setting, not because parents haven’t tried or can’t be arsed, but because some disabilities or MH diagnoses mean that the child needs to have intensive support from more people than just family.