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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To serve these foods to muslim friends

603 replies

MissMildred · 04/08/2018 19:03

Hi - posting here for traffic but also because I don't want to BU. I invited some new school friends and their parents for a bbq in a couple of weeks and two of the families are muslim and mentioned they only eat halal.
I want to make an effort to make them feel comfortable, and it has also been very interesting learning all about what is halal or haram. Obviously no pork will be served. However, some of the guidance on the internet is not clear, so I wondered if anyone with this diet could help me with these items and whether it would BU to serve them up:

Vinegar - if I served this in eg. a coleslaw, are all types of vinegar fine? (Eg is the vinegar not seen as alcohol anymore?)
Butter - Am I overthinking this? Would you eat butter?
Alcohol - I know you wouldn't drink this, but is it acceptable for others in the group to be drinking a glass of wine?
Halloumi - I can't figure out if this is okay or not.

Also - any tips you might have would be great, especially if there are brands of crisps, bread, butter etc....you might use.

Thank you!

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/08/2018 11:27

It was me, Nibledbyducks, and believe me it was just a figure of speech, with no disrespect intended to those of the wicca persuasion Wink

And BTW I'm very much with you on your point made at 10.46. I've often thought it would be useful if those who throw around "racist" at every turn understood what it actually is, but on MN at least it seems the definition is whatever some want it to be at any given moment

Which seems to me to help nobody, least of all those who struggle with genuine oppression

SavvySaver24 · 06/08/2018 11:33

You are getting the answer as to why people won't eat halal meat over and over and over again. You just aren't reading it or are ignoring it, or are deciding it isn't a 'valid' reason and that is totally NOT you call to make. I have listed out my reasons and they are valid to ME. I don't give a flying eff whether you agree with my reasons or not. But I have given them as have many others.

YeTalkShiteHen · 06/08/2018 11:39

Not “pandering to minorities” may well be a valid reason to you Savvy along with Trump and Tommy Robinson.

SavvySaver24 · 06/08/2018 11:42

YetalkshiteHen you really need to learn to READ. Never ONCE have i said pandering to minorities was my reasoning. What I DID say was I am sick of people pandering to minorities while they BELITTLE others opinions.

Don't drop the second part of the sentence to suit your own PERSONAL agenda of trying to scream racist it just makes you look pathetic.

JacquesHammer · 06/08/2018 11:46

What I DID say was I am sick of people pandering to minorities while they BELITTLE others opinions

Ok - so how are Muslims collectively belittling your opinions?

(Just waiting for a "we're not allowed to say "Merry Christmas" anymore type of response...)

Willyoujustbequiet · 06/08/2018 11:47

I think you sound a lovely and considerate host. I would definitely tell your other guests about the halal meat though. Along with many other posters I wouldn't want to eat it.

SavvySaver24 · 06/08/2018 11:55

Err I didn't say muslims were belittling my opinion? Why are you literally talking out of your a-hole and making crap up?

I said some people on this post seem to think muslims opinions/wants for eating halal are valid but belittle people who don't eant to eat non halal meat. If you can't get your head round the hypocrisy I give up.

JacquesHammer · 06/08/2018 11:56

I give up

Oh thank goodness. That’s the only salient point you’ve made on the thread.

SavvySaver24 · 06/08/2018 12:10

Haha i see, ignore the point where you are proven to be making shit up then.

YeTalkShiteHen · 06/08/2018 12:12

DARVO is strong on this thread I see.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/08/2018 12:16

I said some people on this post seem to think muslims opinions/wants for eating halal are valid but belittle people who don't eant to eat non halal meat

What you said was quite clear, Savvy, but faced with what seems the unarguable suggestion that everyone should have a choice, there'll often be those who'll maintain you said something else completely, suggest what you're about to post before you've even posted it or, if that doesn't work, simply insult you

A shame, really ...

JacquesHammer · 06/08/2018 12:29

Haha i see, ignore the point where you are proven to be making shit up then

What you said was clear. I totally understand why you don’t want to be associated with it.

BertrandRussell · 06/08/2018 12:36

"You are getting the answer as to why people won't eat halal meat over and over and over again."

Well I haven't. Did you send the answer by PM to selected posters only?

BertrandRussell · 06/08/2018 12:39

"I said some people on this post seem to think muslims opinions/wants for eating halal are valid but belittle people who don't eant to eat non halal meat"
I think doing anything for religious reasons is bonkers, frankly.

SavvySaver24 · 06/08/2018 12:42

No BertrandRussell you must just be blind :-)

manicinsomniac · 06/08/2018 13:14

Bertrand - none of the atheists on the thread have actually said they feel this way but did this not help explain why some non religious people might prefer to avoid Halal meat:

I don't think objecting to Halal meat on the grounds of the prayer is necessary prejudiced against Muslims, even for atheists. I'm a practising Christian and have found that many atheists have a really strong negative reaction to any mention of prayer, even if they genuinely believe it's total nonsense. I've sometimes asked if somebody mind if I pray for a particular situation or person and have been told categorically no; don't pray for me, around me or about me kind of reaction. Very strong and like they're repulsed by it. It certainly doesn't come across as something they see as just random words that are immaterial, though I'm sure it is to the majority of atheists

I might be totally wrong and I can't speak for a Halal avoiding atheist because I'm a Christian that isn't bothered whether meat is Halal or not. But I have certainly experienced that visceral hatred and avoidance or anything that has any links to prayer or spirituality. And I do think it's valid and not racist/prejudiced. It's their belief (or lack of belief, I guess).

BertrandRussell · 06/08/2018 13:15

Savvy, you posted this...
“So with your example about grace, yes I would eat it as I don't totally disagree with Christianity. However know 100% I do NOT believe or afilliate with Islam.”

Hmmm. And again, hmmmm.

BertrandRussell · 06/08/2018 13:20

Manic- thank you. I am a “militant atheist” (aka-an stheist) and would prefer not to be prayed over, or have anything prayed over whatever faith the prayers are from. But if it happens-tant pis- they are just words to me, and they are important to other people. But there are posters on here whose objections are to Islamic prayers only. For which there is only one feasible explanation.........

SavvySaver24 · 06/08/2018 13:23

BertrandRussell, oh I see so you think Christianity and Islam are the only 2 religions do you? I would have the same issue with any other religion praying over my food, with the exception of Christianity as I have been Christened.so how about you take you "hmmmming" somewhere it is accurate :-)

SavvySaver24 · 06/08/2018 13:25

What you said was clear. I totally understand why you don’t want to be associated with it.

Obviously it wasn't clear to you as you have ENTIRELY made up what I said. I said people on this thread are belitting the opinions of those who don't want to eat halal. Not that muslims are. Maybe if you got your head out you arse it may help you read properly.

JacquesHammer · 06/08/2018 13:28

I would have the same issue with any other religion praying over my food, with the exception of Christianity as I have been Christened

😂😭

YeTalkShiteHen · 06/08/2018 13:30

JacquesHammer my response to that too! I’ve been christened, doesn’t make me anything!

YeTalkShiteHen · 06/08/2018 13:32

I said people on this thread are belitting the opinions of those who don't want to eat halal

For the millionth time because nobody has actually come up with any reason why it personally affects them. Because it doesn’t.

Caveats already worked out are covered under faith prohibiting it obviously.

Being christened means nothing if you don’t follow the faith btw, it’s not a ticket into heaven!

WatermelonGlitter · 06/08/2018 13:56

Not wanting to eat meat going through a normal slaughterhouse with recorded prayers playing over a loudspeaker is racist

Since when was Islam a race?

BertrandRussell · 06/08/2018 14:32

Think I might try my “hmmmmm” out here. Yep, works well.