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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your CF wedding tales?

358 replies

DuggeeRulz · 04/08/2018 13:56

A guest’s plus one (someone I’d never met before) wore a white mini dress to my wedding. I laughed it off at the time (more focused on getting married!) but lots of people were a bit outraged on my behalf that she wore white.

Anyone got some more lovely tales of CFs trying to steal wedding thunder? I do love a good CF story!

OP posts:
TheCakeCrusader · 06/08/2018 16:02

I had one guest being really off at our wedding reception. He had made an assumption that just because I’d diverted my eyes momentarily when I was briefly chatting to him to see where my children were (twin boys being very mischievous!) that it was okay to make a nasty sarcastic comment, something along the lines that I must not be interested in talking to him!! I had actually been very polite in conversation and was so taken back by his snark that I just mumbled, quite shocked that this wasn’t true! He was the husband of an old uni friend of my husband that I’d only ever met twice briefly before. Unbelievable that he felt it was acceptable to insult the bride for some perceived slight!

I mentioned this to my husband later who was shocked and he said that apparently he’d heard that this guest had a raging argument earlier with his wife just because they had left behind their sunglasses back at the previous church venue. However taking out his frustration onto the bride later was unacceptable. I told my husband that I wouldn’t be in a hurry to see him ever again! Hmm

Gardengirl33 · 06/08/2018 16:02

Can't work out if I was a cf or not. Ten years ago.....We ended up telling people about our pregnancy (12 wks) at a friends wedding, and the groom mentioned it in his speech (new beginnings and all that) which was actually very lovely (he is a fab man) but tbh it had been my dear Dads funeral (many friends at wedding knew him) that week so it meant we had something happy to talk about rather than everyone avoid me. I guess as the groom congratulated us in his speech they were ok with it??! (Will check with bride soon!)

DowntownDallas · 06/08/2018 16:08

My SIL removed the flowers from the church after her wedding 9straight after) and took them to the reception. I was shocked. They were not church attenders and so were obviously unaware what shocking form this was.

goose1964 · 06/08/2018 16:18

Not wedding but reception, we had paid corkage and brought our own wine. After the reception my cousins sat in the bar so they could say goodbye after we'd changed for the evening. We got a bit sidetracked and thought we could murder some wine, but they'd necked the lot!.

LRL2017 · 06/08/2018 16:18

My grandma refused to move from the front row at my wedding meaning my mum couldn't sit there!

MrsPeel · 06/08/2018 16:31

Thanks dinkydonky phew! My friends tend to have informal weddings so I am not very up on etiquette then or now!
Thinking back it was quite a strange wedding, as, at the reception sit down dinner, the groom (an ex boyfriend from a decade ago that I had kept vaguely in touch with), passed round ten year old pictures of me playing the giddy goat in a pair of very over sized dungarees - don't know what that was about!

IdontunderstandPicasso · 06/08/2018 16:54

I’m not sure if this is Cf territory but my Nan and aunt threw the mother of tantrums because I gave my cousin (who I never see and don’t get on with) an evening invite. I have loads of cousins and he was the only one I invited anyway due to it being a small wedding (30 people).I invited him through gritted teeth so as to not cause a fuss! Ha! And he had already told me he wouldn’t be able to get the day off work anyway so I assumed it would be alright.

Oh no. He refused to come at all (fine with me) and my Nan and aunt refused to stay after my ceremony. I think my Nan regretted being so hot headed as she began hinting at wanting to stay to the whole day as the wedding drew near but to be perfectly honest I was so fucked off I ignored the hints. I still have a very strained relationship with my aunt but my Nan has convieniently forgotten all about it. Took about 2 years for me to forgive her.

HellenaHandbasket · 06/08/2018 17:02

Our church encouraged people to do that DowntownDallas.

DaphneBlake101 · 06/08/2018 17:29

I made my centrepieces with my soon-to-be MIL, SIL and aunt and encouraged guests to take them away at the end of the night. There was a few left behind so I took them home and brought them back out for my first anniversary party... only to find someone had gone round and removed the batteries from all the little lights! Not just with one jar but every one of the jars I had left had the batteries nicked! I mean I was happy for them to take the centrepieces away but I thought just taking the batteries was cheeky!

starlight13 · 06/08/2018 17:40

I don't think that there is anything wrong with a guest wearing white if it's a summer wedding and as long as it's not an obvious gown.
Hope someone can clear something up for me though that I've been stewing over for 15 years.....my MIL pinned all of the men's corsages to them with the flowers pointing downwards and I didn't know until I wa's face to face with my future hustand up the aisle. I do think that she did it to be spiteful because you wear it that way for a funeral don't you?!

AmeliaLexi · 06/08/2018 17:41

What's a CF???

UpstartCrow · 06/08/2018 17:42

CF is a Cheeky Fucker.

Betsan2 · 06/08/2018 17:42

One of my bridesmaids got in a huff because I hadn't called her my 'best friend'. She went to my honeymoon suite to talk to the other bridesmaids about it, left early and hasn't spoken to me since (3 years) even though I paid a lot of money for her dress, meal, present etc. She still hasn't paid me for the accommodation which was to go to charity as she clearly didn't enjoy. Some people should grow up! CF for sure!

Avocadosarethewayforward · 06/08/2018 17:49

My dad - who no one had seen since he acrimoniously divorced my mother 30 odd years ago - ran up the aisle just as we were about to do the ‘I do’ moment, shouting, ‘I’m the biological father!’
#prouddaughtermoment

Goggle4 · 06/08/2018 18:02

Personally it would depend what kind of white dress. If the bride wore a full on wedding gown then a pure white maxi dress or a lace dress maybe a no no but a white mini dress sounds ok to me.

I went to a winter wedding once and wore a black dress. At first, my husband was outraged but the bride and groom didn’t mind :)

Alwayscommuting · 06/08/2018 18:06

Our wedding my future SIL decided her new BF was invited. He turned up in tonnes of fake tan in a kilt that clashed with the tartan we'd chosen. He was also front and centre in plenty of family pics. They dated for about another month.

Lovebeingmama · 06/08/2018 18:08

Yes, I had a white dress wearer at mine too.
Was a small wedding in Italy and she was a plus one that I’d never met before.
I know it’s only a colour ...but she didn’t know how plain my dress would be or whether I’d just wear a shorter shift dress as it was quite informal. Also, she didn’t know me so wouldn’t know if I’d be offended.
There’s so many colours, the fact she chose white suggested to me that she wanted to offend or had a desperate need for attention. Yuck!

Megansmumsie · 06/08/2018 18:10

Not so much a steal focus story but my Mum was a pain that day (and of course every other day of my life- which is why we no longer speak). So the day of the wedding arrives, my Mum has inputted zero to the whole day, apart from buying her own outfit but has asked to contribute the wedding cake, i'm at the hotel with my sister in law and daughter, my husband is at our house. From 6 am onwards she's been texting him to come and pick up the cake from her (I want to stress that she did not make it, she bought it)- my husband is trying to get ready as he has to drive over to another part of the country with his best men to come and marry me.

It was the start of a pattern that day, so before we even got married my Mum was hounding my husband because my aunty (who had come down from another part of the country) couldn't get into her hotel room..... like it was anything to do with him. Reception was right outside the bar but it was apparently my husband to be's job to deal with! She asked him repeatedly for about half an hour while they sat and drank themselves into a stupor, while he was organising his best men, his speech, plucking up the courage to marry me etc.

After we were married it didn't stop either, he'd been to reception for them, spoken to countless members of staff who said they were dealing with it for them already. Hours and hours he had of them bothering him about their room- still no idea why it was his responsibility.

My Mum and Dad had split up about 4 years prior and she made it as difficult as possible for us to have a family photo and refused to stand with us- at either side, my Dad was cool with it but my Mum was unceremoniously difficult.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 06/08/2018 18:12

But most people know a plain white dress is considered " off" even if it looks nothing like a wedding dress. So out of politeness you don't do it or people think you are a CF.
Although apparently my mum did at a wedding in the 1960's because she had no idea.

Lovebeingmama · 06/08/2018 18:17

Oh yes, I also had a member of the wedding party who wanted me to arrange a baby sitter which I did....then interrupted us at the wedding reception to ask for money to pay the babysitter.

Scifi101 · 06/08/2018 18:23

@avocadosarethewayforward

What happened next??!

pollymere · 06/08/2018 18:26

My brother and I were both invited to a cousin's wedding without plus 1s. That doesn't sound that CF, until you hear that I was due to get married less than two months later and my brother four months later. My cousin had already had the invites...yet he said he didn't know we were in serious relationships 😂 Even better, another cousin got to bring some guy she'd just met. My brother and I just danced the night away whilst fielding questions as to where our future spouses were!

Sacredspace · 06/08/2018 18:27

My now husband and I went to visit his parents to tell them that we were getting married. We were so excited to tell them. His mum said, and I quote, ‘what do you expect me to do about it? Take my knickers off and wave them in the air?’ They have never wasted an opportunity to let me know just how much they dislike me!

fedupslummymummy · 06/08/2018 18:40

Glad I’m not alone in the “husband goes clubbing” stakes!!! I was 7mo pregnant at my wedding and at the evening do the best man asks me if it’s ok if the groom comes clubbing with them in the evening as I’m “obviously not up for much” in my condition. I replied that yes the groom was welcome to go clubbing.....if he wanted an annulment the next day. MIL also wore black and hijacked the speeches.......I am never getting married again!!!

Avocadosarethewayforward · 06/08/2018 18:53

Scifi101
My father sat down in the church and glared at everyone in a decidedly manic way. I was desperately miming to my brother to do something & thankfully he took dad to one side for a ‘quiet word.’
He seemed mollified and behaved himself for the rest of the day...

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