To wonder if all 2 year olds are like this?

[WhyTheHeckMe]

Ds is a nice boy. Very affectionate and a good sense of humour. Never been put in a naughty corner in his life and has only ever gone into time out once at nursary and he's been there since he was 10 months (he's now 2 and a half). We do get told he's often 'silly' and more so since the arrival of his baby brother 3 months ago

It stuck me today just how different he seems to act compared to others his age.

We were at the barbers waiting for his trim and there were 4 other kids all around his age all sat nicely.
My ds literally didn't sit down once despite repeated requests. He ran around. Messed on the floor in the dirty hair. Ran outside (quiet road thankfully). And he doesn't shut up. Ever. It's constant waffle waffle waffle. Sometimes I love it and others it literally drains the life out of me.
The only toys he's interested in is jigsaws. He has so many toys but he just won't get involved. He won't colour, paint, watch TV for longer than 2 mins. Nothing holds his attention for more than a few mins.

I felt embarrassed today at realising that he seems so full on. I've always justified it to dh by saying that it's because other kids will sit with phones or tablets to keep them quiet but today none of these kids has that and they were just pretty chilled.

Does my 2yo sound normal? !

I find it much too stressful and embarrassing to be out with a child who behaved as described by the OP at the barbers.

Parents of SN kids should just stay home then?

I don’t think you meant it that way but please think about how that comes across to those of us with autistic children, special needs children, and children with various difficulties.

It could be boisterous toddler or it could be something more. It is likely to be too early to tell.

About reins - my nearly 14 year old still wears a form of reins because he still has no understanding of safe behaviour when out of the house. We started using them as soon as he started walking outside the house so he has never known being outside without them. Putting them on a child that has already got the idea that they are able to move away from you is going to be difficult.

My DS doesn't like sitting still either but he wouldn't run in the road. I wouldn't worry too much about him having lots of energy but would definitely teach him that running into roads is a big no no (appreciate you are probably already doing this).

Some toddlers are just very energetic and excitable. Mine is! She's 3.5 now and still hates sitting still. She runs everywhere and climbs!
Is he getting plenty of exercise?

My just tuned the 2 year old can be a total whirlwind but also has moments of being a complete angel. I’ve had two appointments in two weeks where she was like a different child.

1. dentist appointment- the child was an angel. I couldn’t have asked for more. She sat and watched me having my teeth done, played nicely with her books. Smiled and said hello to the staff. Was very compliant when the dentist checked her teeth and thanked him. All the staff said how wonderful she was and one of the best behaved toddlers they had ever seen.

2. midwife yesterday. Couldn’t sit still. In the waiting room she was jumping up and down like the Duracell bunny. While I was in with the midwife she was shrieking, spilling her cup of water on purpose, managed to escape from the buggy straps and jumped out, started rearranging the chairs, kept saying she didn’t like her toys and chucking them. I know she was a bit of a pain because I had cut her nap short to go to the appointment so she was a bit tired and stropy.

If you’d have been around her in the dentist, it would have probably made you feel crap by comparison. If you were there yesterday, you’d have been in the ‘thank god that’s not my child’ camp.

Redgreen He didn't run into the road the ran outside , he wasn't near the road

Yes with a 3 month old it's not easy especially as I was trying to feed him yesterday while all this was going on.

The other parents didn't seem to think he was naughty. My ds was going over to their ds and talking to them,offering to share raisins. Talking to adults who were waiting. He is quite a funny kid and easy to chat with. I apologised a few times when ds was out of earshot for him being like a whirlwind.

And yes he gets plenty of exercise. We are rarely home as he likes to go out for walks, bike rides, out on his scooter. Toddler group 3 mornings a week, nursery 2 days a week. Football Saturday mornings. Swimming Sundays

He doesn't nap in the day then crashes at night

The barbers waiting area isn't around scissors it's out of the way so it wasn't dangerous. And when he ran out, the door was open and it's a quiet street with a very large grassed area before the road. I know this doesn't necessarily make it better but just so you know why he wasn't pinned to my knee (which would have resulted in a big tantrum)
The point is though you repeatedly asked him to sit still and he ignored you. If it’s a safe area and you’re happy for him to get down and play in the hair and run outside then let him, don’t keep asking him to sit still. Otherwise you’re teaching him that you don’t mean it when you say sit still and that he can just get down and mess about anyway. Next time it could be a busy road he runs into.
Even if keeping him on your knee does result in a big tantrum, sometimes that’s what’s got to happen if you can’t find another way of distracting him into sitting still.

which is why I stand by the fact that he isn’t naughty In terms of whether it’s him that’s naughty or the behaviour, yes when you’re talking to him you are best to tell him what he did was naughty rather than say ‘you’re such a naughty boy’ to him but when discussing on the internet it doesn’t really matter whether you say he’s naughty or the behaviour. The point is what you describe is naughty behaviour, not being silly.

User that's so true. A couple of Saturdays ago I took other my boys to the dentist and the 2yo was an angel. No problem at all and also had his teeth checked. I definitely think his tolerance levels are better earlier in the day!

Op my two year old is exactly the same, to the point that we also call him the Duracell bunny. Constantly on the go, running climbing etc. Can't be left unsupervised for even ten seconds otherwise he'll be doing something he shouldn't. Won't sit still unless it's to look at pictures of cars on my phone. Also if he's told off or disciplined in anyway he just thinks it's funny no matter whose telling him off. He's not acting like he doesn't care either, he genuinely just thinks it's funny irregardless of the punishment. I'm at a loss how to discipline him when he genuinely doesn't care.

Sounds just like my son who was two in April. Most of the time he is an absolute dream but he has his moments and I highly doubt he'd sit still to wait for a hair cut. There would be far too many new things for him to look at!

Mine is not interested in colouring at all. The HV told me that boys often aren't and to let him "colour" the floor outside with water.

Maybe you're not using the naughty corner when you should be?

I've spent hours trying to get my DS interested in drawing, he really doesn't care for it or colouring, he's very behind in Mark making despite being given ample encouragement from very early on

That doesn’t extrapolate to all boys are uninterested in drawing though.

Given equal encouragement equal numbers of boys and girls would enjoy drawing. On a population level, more girls are encouraged to draw therefore more girls learn to like drawing. Many parents actively discourage boys from “girl” activities.

Mine is not interested in colouring at all. The HV told me that boys often aren't and to let him "colour" the floor outside with water. Your HV is talking nonsense!

Some boys aren’t interested in colouring, some girls aren’t. Girls and boys are just socialised differently from a very early age so people perceive their socialisation to be a natural interest/disinterest in things.

Colouring outside with chalks / water is a great idea though for both girls and boys and great for those who will sit quietly at a table and draw and those who won’t.

Get a busy book off etsy, works a treat at this age because they're interested in all the matching and threading, but you have to engage fully with them when doing it

Neither of mine sat still at 2. DS2 is still 2 and has watered the entire garden and washing this morning

Mine is wild too. We tried to take him to a furniture shop yesterday and he ran riot. DH had to take him outside. It was over 30 degrees and everyone else was feeling lethargic but he seemed to get more wired!

He actually loves colouring and can concentrate well on Duplo, puzzles, etc but when we go somewhere new and exciting he would never be placated with toys or books.

I don’t see anything wrong with this behaviour, although it’s bloody tiring when you’re the parent running after them!

My dd definitely needed restraining at that age, couldn't be trusted until she was 4. But her cousin was very sensible and compliant from an early age.

Also, as expected, lots of judgement from parents of 'well behaved' children on this thread.

You don't 'get' how difficult it is to parent an energetic, maybe not NT, child. I can get 30 teenagers to sit quietly (secondary teacher) but DS1 finds it EXCRUCIATINGLY difficult. His teacher thinks he has ASD but the Educational Psychologist just thinks there's an imbalance between his cognitive and emotional skills.

Well done those of you who have kids who automatically sit still. I can assure you it's not your parenting.

Not sure if we read the same thread Shackup because most have said their toddler is the same.

ShackUp

Well said.

I’m still quite upset someone thinks we should just stay home, lest my DS “embarrass” people by being loud and energetic.

For anyone who’s kids struggle at school/pre school, wobble seats can be good for sitting still. Gives the kids enough movement to distract them.

DS was exactly like this. He rarely focussed on something for more than 3-5 mins at a time as a toddler.

I remember taking him to a visit day at a new nursery whenhe was 4, with activities laid out for his age and his behaviour really stood out.

He was completely unable to stop and play with anything despite me trying to get him to focus on one thing at a time. He just ran from one activity to another doing one thing for about 10secs then on to the next etc until he arrived at the first activity again and it started all over again. This went on for the whole two hour visit. I remember thinking then, that there was something not right. He stood out even from the other more 'lively children' who were definitely ablelto focus on something for maybe 5-10 mins with a parent helping them by the end of the session, once the novelty of all the new stuff had worn off a bit. Not DS
He got a diagnosis of ASD and ADHD at 6 years old

I think lots of 2 ye olds can't sit still or focus for long. If by 4- 5 yrs old, it hasn't calmed down considerably then maybe it is a problem but unless he really seems much worse more consistently than the other active toddlers you know, I wouldn't worry. Nursery definitely thought there may be an issue with DS so if your son is doing ok at nursery, that is another indication that it is just normal liveliness. .

DS was not much calmer at that age at all. He regularly ran around the hall during assembly time at school, climbing on chairs. They eventually got him to stop this but it took much more than the usual 'discipline' methods and took a long time.

My DS is 20 months and exactly the same. I'm trying to embrace it...but it's not always so easy! He's so busy all the time. He does not sit still, ever. Which means I have to resort to using the pushchair more often than I'd like (in hairdressers, for example!) because it's the only place he will sit still and be calm. He won't sit down for longer than a few minutes for a picnic, he runs off. If I open the front door as someone has knocked, he's straight onto the front garden and would happily wander up the road. He has no fear!

Also, I haven't socialised my boys any differently to friends who have girls. In almost all cases, the girls are less energetic than my boys. I am very anti-'boys will be boys' talk and have clear expectations about my DCs' behaviour, but they are noticeably different in terms of energy levels to most of the girls they know. They desperately need constant trips to the park to run off their energy, and have never clung to me.

hey desperately need constant trips to the park to run off their energy, and have never clung to me

My girls are the same.

You may not have socialised them differently, but you are not their only influence. Those friends whose girls have “less energy” may have been the ones socialised to behave that way.

Energy levels in anyone are linked to fitness- boys running around at break or taken to the park a lot for physical play will be fitter, and therefore be able to maintain physical activity for longer. My girls keep up with boys very easily, but their female peers tire quickly and go back to games where less exertion is required. My girls have the physical strength to climb trees and play on monkey bars- you’d be suprised how many can’t because their parents don’t think they need the trips to the park, or they’re constantly being told to be careful, or sent in skirts when they do.

Generally because girls are socialised to sit and play/draw quietly while boys are allowed and encouraged to run and “burn off energy”. Sit and watch families in cafe’s, mums sit and engage with the girls at a table, drawing, chatting. The boys usually aren’t made to do the same.

Lol sorry but this is bullshit. My sister has DD and twin DSs. Her daughter would always sit colouring etc at this age and my sister has had the shock of her life that the DSs won’t do the same. She tries desperately to get them into quiet play but they are two tornados. Not naughty boys just full speed ahead.

I have two boys just the same. They know what’s naughty and they’re not naughty kids but they’re definitely not sedate quiet kids lol

Surely everyone wants their kid to sit quietly playing nicely? It’s certainly not a rule of boys are this way girls are that way, not at all! But whirlwind kids - girl or boy - aren’t that way because their parents expect it of them and let them get on with it

Different kids just have different personalities

And the OPs little boy sounds very normal to me