To wonder if all 2 year olds are like this?

[WhyTheHeckMe]

Ds is a nice boy. Very affectionate and a good sense of humour. Never been put in a naughty corner in his life and has only ever gone into time out once at nursary and he's been there since he was 10 months (he's now 2 and a half). We do get told he's often 'silly' and more so since the arrival of his baby brother 3 months ago

It stuck me today just how different he seems to act compared to others his age.

We were at the barbers waiting for his trim and there were 4 other kids all around his age all sat nicely.
My ds literally didn't sit down once despite repeated requests. He ran around. Messed on the floor in the dirty hair. Ran outside (quiet road thankfully). And he doesn't shut up. Ever. It's constant waffle waffle waffle. Sometimes I love it and others it literally drains the life out of me.
The only toys he's interested in is jigsaws. He has so many toys but he just won't get involved. He won't colour, paint, watch TV for longer than 2 mins. Nothing holds his attention for more than a few mins.

I felt embarrassed today at realising that he seems so full on. I've always justified it to dh by saying that it's because other kids will sit with phones or tablets to keep them quiet but today none of these kids has that and they were just pretty chilled.

Does my 2yo sound normal? !

This sounds exactly like my DD, exactly.

She’s 2.5. For first time since she was at the “tearaway I’ve just learned to run” stage (c.16months?) she’s done three runaways in three days. Gonna have to get her reins backpack again.

OP my sympathies. I was on my knees by teatime today and just cried this evening as she’s at “peak toddler” right now and I’m exhausted, snappy and brimming with mum guilt.

At this age his brain is unable to make the connection from hitting his brother to no ice cream. This is normal behaviour, firm no, distract, wait until he's closer to 3.
The whole brain child by D. Siegel would be beneficial here so that you adapt your behaviour to what he's actually capable of understanding and changing.

We are in agreement MrSpock I suggested distraction with toys/what’s going on outside in my first postf, if not use a pushchair/reins or iPad or whatever works for your child. Like you say if it isn’t working leave the situation. Whatever works but you can’t just let them run around in that environment

Ah sorry didn’t see your first post! I’ve had reins suggested to me so many times for DS and always feel like pointing out some kids just hate them as people sometimes think they’re a quick fix

Both of mine were like that at 5hat age. Eldest grew out of it at around three. Youngest is still like that.

DS2 constantly fidgets, he's 6. School referred him to CAMHS last year for ADHD, CAMHS don't want to label him yet.

This is an unpopular opinion but most girls I know are less boisterous than boys the same age. You get one or two who are, but at DSs nursery it’s normally the lads who are the majority of the energetic kids

Generally because girls are socialised to sit and play/draw quietly while boys are allowed and encouraged to run and “burn off energy”. Sit and watch families in cafe’s, mums sit and engage with the girls at a table, drawing, chatting. The boys usually aren’t made to do the same.

O/p i had one exactly the same. Couldn’t leave them alone for 30s without them climbing on something and launching off. Ran everywhere, never sat, never even watched tv until 4 or 5.

I put them in sport asap. Directed the energy, focused the mind and wore them out enough to sit still after. They’re teenager now and have several england caps. Otherwise perfectly normal :). If they don’t train though they revert to madcap leaping about the house!

Yes that's a normal 2 yr old boy

Could be that he'll grow out of it. Could be "something" (ADHD/ASD). Time will tell.

I'm a teacher, and when DD was 4 we had a training session on ADHD/ASD and how children often present. It was an EXACT description of DD. Things is, it's also an exact description of many pre-school kids.

Once she started school things became more obvious, and we did get a diagnosis, but until then it wasn't really important. Nursery were fine with her, she was happy at home (we were exhausted), and physical development was mainly fine (slightly delayed speech, which can also be a symptom). If his behaviour isn't causing any big problems, observe & let him develop. Maybe keep a record in case you do decide in a few years that you think a diagnosis would be suitable.

He could be NT and grow out of it or could have ASD/ADHD,etc.

I agree with pp who says your post seems contradictory though.
You say he’s ‘not naughty’ but to me, the things you mention
-hitting a sibling to deliberately wake them up (twice)
-rolling around in the hair on the barbers floor
-running outside into the road
-getting down off the chair repeatedly when you asked him not to etc
I would class them all as ‘naughty’ behaviour, which obviously aren’t uncommon in 2 year olds but I’m just wondering whether you describing it as ‘silly’ is preventing you from managing it effectively.

You say he’s never been in the naughty corner. Personally I don’t agree with naughty corners but presumably you do or you wouldn’t have mentioned it but if the above behaviour wouldn’t put him in a naughty corner, I’m wondering what would! Honestly it sounds really dangerous in the barbers, him messing about where there are scissors, etc and then running outside into the road.

You’ve probably tried this already but do you tell him the expected behaviour before the situation rather than as he starts doing it, so before you go into the barbers ‘I need you to sit nicely on the chair while we wait, no getting down until it’s your turn. If you get down then I will have to hold you on my knee/strap you into the pram because it’s dangerous’. Then ‘thank you’ can work well, so as soon as he sits down ‘thank you for sitting so nicely’.

Generally because girls are socialised to sit and play/draw quietly while boys are allowed and encouraged to run and “burn off energy”. Sit and watch families in cafe’s, mums sit and engage with the girls at a table, drawing, chatting. The boys usually aren’t made to do the same.

Yeah I agree. I think it’s a society thing more than a genetic one.

No, it’s not necessarily a normal 2yo boy at all! I don’t think that the inability to focus or concentrate on anything for 2 mins is normal at all. Sorry.

And his behaviour do3 sound naughty - if he understands what not to do - hit his brother to wake him - yet does it anyway? That’s naughty. Not silly.

Agree with telling him your expectations before you go anywhere.

I am surprised that the other small children sat so nicely tbh, it can be a nightmare getting a toddlers hair cut. It sounds like normal toddler behaviour, but lots 2.5 year olds do understand consequences, some might not but lots will. I don't understand why people are saying that their DC don't like reins, it isn't about what they like surely, it's about safety. If they won't walk along nicely then it's reins/buggy, they don't have to like it.

I think you're expecting way too much for his stage of development and he is far too young for time out / corner etc .
My 2.5 year old is the same . He wreaks havoc wherever he goes and it's exhausting . He resists , doesn't sit still , can wriggle out of a five point harness and doesn't eat or sleep either . I'm going insane . You have my sympathies .
On the plus side , he speaks beautifully , says please and thank you and has lovely manners , is caring and in touch with emotions and feelings and is kind to other children . He seems to have developed empathy really early. I've often wondered about adhd but it's too early to tell .
I'm exhausted 😩

i saw him reach and hit his baby brother to wake him. I said if you do that again we will go home with no ice cream. He of course did it again so we went home.

Then you say "he is not naughty"

If your parenting doesn't class physical violence as naughty then you will have ongoing problems.

I've always justified it to dh by saying that it's because other kids will sit with phones or tablets to keep them quiet but today none of these kids has that and they were just pretty chilled.

This is what stood out to me. I read into that that you don't really try to keep him still, because you believe he won't unless he has a phone/tablet and you don't want to give one to him.

Problem is that if he knows he goes to the hairdressers and is able to run round etc. he will. Even at his age you can give expectations, and stick to it. "You have to sit nicely by mummy like the other big boys and girls otherwise you will have to go in the buggy." Then take loads of treats/things to do and give him full attention to use them.
If I really needed them to be still I had a set of tiny boxes that I would put little things in that they liked. It took them time to open each box and then the thing inside would distract them for a little while.

When you come out "oh you were such a big boy sitting beautifully," and give him a treat (box of raisins was my default one).

Most children won't just sit still (I had one who did from a very early age) and you have to show them when it's appropriate to stay still. yes, sometimes they won't manage, and sometimes it's really embarrassing, but if you never tell them they they'll pick the fun option of running.

Don't be embarrassed. He sounds intelligent, loving, thoughtful and full of energy. He may have some challenges to come as sitting still is so highly valued in many schools but everyone is different. He might need you in his corner but he sounds great and in the long run his strengths and talents are likely to be far more valuable than the ability to sit still for hours at a time.

My 5 year old is much the same. Stressing out about her starting school as I think ADHD is a possibility (however nursery weren't concerned) but she genuinely can't sit still and she never stops talking

Generally because girls are socialised to sit and play/draw quietly while boys are allowed and encouraged to run and “burn off energy”. Sit and watch families in cafe’s, mums sit and engage with the girls at a table, drawing, chatting. The boys usually aren’t made to do the same.

I've spent hours trying to get my DS interested in drawing, he really doesn't care for it or colouring, he's very behind in Mark making despite being given ample encouragement from very early on.

Yes to the mark making! Draw a line i demonstrate. He does a big circly scribble!.
So many replies here I'm so grateful and reassured that he does sound normal to many.
The barbers waiting area isn't around scissors it's out of the way so it wasn't dangerous. And when he ran out, the door was open and it's a quiet street with a very large grassed area before the road. I know this doesn't necessarily make it better but just so you know why he wasn't pinned to my knee (which would have resulted in a big tantrum)

With regards to hitting his brother - he's not usually violent towards him which is why I stand by the fact that he isn't naughty. Yes this behaviour was naughty hence the reason we went home.
But he is 2 and he is learning every day. So surely by hitting his brother and pushing the boundaries he's learned something rather than me then labelling him naughty for it?
Or have I got this whole parenting thing really wrong :-(

#letsmakeacake thank you!

He may have some challenges to come as sitting still is so highly valued in many schools

Um, yes, otherwise the teachers spend 95% of their time trying to get the badly behaved kids to sit down while the 90% of well behaved kids get forgotten...

I wouldn't call it violence when a two year old slaps a baby, I do think it's naughty but not violence at that age. As for the 'silly' thing at nursery, my friend is a childminder and she uses the word silly when the children have been naughty as some of the parents are so sensitive about any sort of negative feedback. So it's possible they are suggesting his behaviour is a bit naughty at times. Talking about labeling him is a bit daft though, saying that his behaviour is naughty is not 'labeling' him it's just describing how he is behaving, and it's perfectly normal for small children to be naughty at times.

My cousins DS is like this. It's like he's on speed except when he's sleeping.

Just watching him is exhausting and I asked her if he was
like that at nursery...she said he wasnt.

Boys are generally like this at that age...more so than girls.

I wouldn't like to label a 2.5 yo as naughty...
as they don't really understand. More of a handful I'd say about a child like that...but keep an eye as he gets older, in terms of listening to and following instructions.

My ds literally didn't sit down once despite repeated requests. He ran around. Messed on the floor in the dirty hair. Ran outside (quiet road thankfully).

It sounds like you couldn't control him tbh, but with a 3 month old as well you're probably exhausted.

I'm not sure if you had both DS with you...but I wouldn't
take them both to the barbers. It's hard work at that age.

Does he behave like this with you DH as well?

And he doesn't shut up. Ever. It's constant waffle waffle waffle.

Some kids are like this.

The only toys he's interested in is jigsaws

I've known quite a few autistic children to like jigsaw puzzles.

I suspect my cousin's DS who behaves this way has something wrong with him. I don't think he's deliberately misbehaving...and not listening but something just doesn't seem right with him.

I don't understand why people are saying that their DC don't like reins, it isn't about what they like surely

Because my DS will scream, scratch at himself, drop to the floor and bang his head repeatedly if forced to. but sure, let’s force him to wear it!

I see reins as being for safety if you can't keep your child from darting away, where they could get in danger.

If I had a child I was unable to control in public.... I'd be unlikely to take them to places other than the park, play centres and doctors appointments.

I find it much too stressful and embarrassing to be out with a child who behaved as described by the OP at the barbers.