To ask for your “not so Mumsnet” life hacks

[anothernameagain000]

While I’m a sucker for great tips to save time on ironing, cut down my cooking times and being a domestic whizz, as it’s friday evening and I’m bored - tell me your more down to earth tips... such as - “carry a spare hairband in a nightclub to help those throwing up to keep hair back, or the best way to get out stains when baby just crapped on your new carpet!

A damp mop will lift most fluff off a carpet, hide stuff under the bed and fold over the duvet after throwing open a window so it looks like you are healthily airing.
I have just been advised by DH that apparently steak for dinner means he’s on a promise for a BJ (I had no idea), so now I need to watch out for gobble bobble wearing and steaks!!!

SistersOfPercy B&Q and Dulux Decorator Centres will do that too. They will match the colour, but not the chalky finish of F&B paint.

"A damp mop will lift most fluff off a carpet, hide stuff under the bed and fold over the duvet after throwing open a window so it looks like you are healthily airing."
Wow where do I get one of these super super damp mops?

To avoid cleaning the fridge shelves cover them in clingfilm and ditto the veg drawers but put kitchen roll on top in them. Change once or twice a year

Covering fridge shelves in cling film is a totally brilliant idea!! Thanks for that louiseaaa

I told my under 5s that if you watch a DVD too much it could break. Now I only have to sit through the same 6 episodes of Doc Mcstuffins a few times a week.

Wow where do I get one of these super super damp mops?

Sweeping the carpet also works for a quick fix.

If you're having visitors, get some refuse sacks, put everything that's lying around into them and shove them into cupboards or under the bed.

I put zoflora on the draft excluder by my front door, smells clean when some one walks in or when the draft tries to get through. I also dry a few baby wipes on radiators in winter when I have a cold,sooo soft on chapped noses (I always forget to buy tissues and baby wipes don't disintegrate in the washing machine if they get forgotten in pockets)
I also give each child different rules for games so dd thinks it's the person with the most balls in kerplunk that wins. Ds thinks it's the person with the least.no more fights over who won

Your parents/ other relatives/friends live a great distance from you- and it is so expensive to travel as a family to visit them - so you never go -newsflash-you can go alone or take just one child with you -do this regularly and you all see more of said relatives -I can 100% vouch this works!

Why the hell was my post deleted? What did I say?!

@SistersOfPercy while it’s a good hack, it doesn’t turn out the same. We did it in our last house and it was the right colour but didn’t change in the light in that magical way that F&B does.

At the weekend round up all the leftover odds and ends in the fridge and freezer. Lay it out buffet style and call it "tapas".

@Apileofballyhoo but does it also hide stuff under the bed and fold the duvet over as a damp mop does?

If you want to have children without compromising your career, adopt a 17 year old. This also works with 10 year olds, as long as you can afford boarding school and summer camps.

In the baby/toddler years, wear patterned clothes to camouflage mess. Carry a spare outfit in the back of the car for emergency use.

Chocolate bars are “mummy sticks” and wine is “mummy juice”.

Marry someone anally retentive and invite friends around for coffee every Saturday morning. The house will be spotless and you get to see more of friends.

Loving the gobble bobble, but Christmas dinner will never be the same again. Gobble gobble!

Another sex tip from an enthusiastic amateur...give eye contact while gobbling.

Wear high waisted compression leggings/tops to look thinner. Don a baseball hat for bed hair (with bobble in place...ooh er missus!)

If you make salad ahead of time, leave out the dressing and tomato or use those little cherry tomatoes. It stays fresh/edible for longer.

If you don’t have much of a social life any more, hang out on mumsnet and pretend you’re friends with the frequent posters. Really I feel like I know you guys!

If you want to be socially inappropriate, dominate a thread —then realize and retreat slowly— oops

Going out and can't be bothered to get the ironing board out to iron a crinkly shirt or dress - then just stick it in the tumble drier for 10 minutes with a clean damp towel and then hang it up for a few mins while you get ready. job done.

Just read the first page but had to say I am so ashamed by the 'gobble bobble'! I wear a hair band around my wrist at all times, especially in nightclubs as it gets soo hot! Hahaha hope dp doesn't just always thinks he is on a constant promise hehe hehe!!!