I've just been a complete twat...

[AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley]

I think, anyway! Not sure now! So I'll put it to the MN jury...and I'll happily apologize, because I have the ability to own my shit.

Chatting to a friend about going out tonight (after the week I've had, I bloody deserve it!)

She started on a massive stretch about me claiming PIP to "piss it up the wall", I obviously need the disposible income, etc, etc. It was really bitchy!

She's made catty comments in the past, but tbh I thought that was down to me- I have a weird sense of humor, and take the piss out of myself all the time. But never like this.

She said that, if I was independant enough to go out alone (I'll be meeting a friend, but eill be making my own way) I shouldn't be claiming Personal INDEPENDANCE Payment, and that "I'm what's wrong with the government atm!

I sent her a REALLY sarky text in reply, but it's made me doubt myself!

I need to calm down...

Sorry not really in the lighthearted spirit of the thread, but I guess I wanted to kind of show an extreme example of how the impact of judgement can affect people.

Also possibly why some humour from people with disabilities can seem a bit “off” because when you face this shit day in day out sometimes dark humour is the only thing that keeps you smiling.

@YeTalkShiteHen

Same happened to my Dad in a “naice” department store. He came out of the disabled toilet to be confronted by a fucking nasty bint on crutches who snarled at him that only the disabled should use that toilet.

He grabbed his toilet card from his wallet, put it up to her face and said “Piss Police” - much to the amusement of the other toilet queues.

@strawberrisc I’m sorry that happened to your Dad, he sounds ace and I love his response!

Mum said afterwards she wished I’d been there because I’m rarely short of a sharp reply to ignorant twats (her words). I wish I could find that fucking awful woman and tell her just how much damage she did with her cruelty.

I now have an excuse for taking DS2 into the disabled toilet in Sainsbury's, we use the disabled child trolley as he has suspected ADHD and will either bolt or roll around on the floor, using the disabled toilet means I can take him in with me and he can't start running around in the café. I still have to get him up and down the travelator, as they have to hide the trolley, some bastards nicked 3 of them, they only have one left. The shopping floor's the first floor.

Sadly I know all too well how hard it is for people with VI to get PIP
OP your friend is a grade A twat and you are better off without her.

@AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley if you ever disappear from mumsnet I will cry, I've missed seeing your sarkyness!

www.rnib.org.uk/its-time-to-fix-pip

Mummy have you posted about that before? What a wankplate!

Piss Police 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

And hell yes to using the disabled loos! My legs are fine- I completed the Potters 'Arf (walking) but if my choice is a disabled toilet on the ground floor, or an- erm- abled? Reabled? Meh whatevz!- toilet up a shitload of stairs, it's a choice between possibly breaking my neck, and not!

Re: the fact that it's hard for VI people to get PIP. My personal theory is that, in an everyday situation, we would answer "yes" to all of the "can you do" questions. Can I cook? Yup- I'm a shit hot cook actually! Can I walk 50m? Yes. We tend to forget- especially people who were born with it- that our other senses take over I can hear boiling water. I can smell when things are cooked. If the question was "can you cook using your eyes, like a sighted person?" The answer would be "no". CanI walk 50m? Not without an aid- my white cane- so no agwin. But you don't realize these things until you really sit down and think, because it's the way you've always done it. And all the DWP see is the vox ticked "yes".

Hope this makes sense

@YeTalkShiteHen I'm sorry about your Mum too. Don't you just wish sometimes that the quiet, shy ones would be angry enough to rise up and be heard?

@AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley you’ve nailed it with regards to why the PIP forms are so tricky for people with VI. I have this conversation on an almost daily basis with my service users and professionals I work with

Also, I think people with a natural "fight" in them may struggle. We spend all our lives trying to prove we CAN do things, and it seems unnatural to then fill out a form saying we can't!

I have posted about him before. I’m well past the upset / hurt stage now though.

SupposedStudent

YeTalkShite .

I agree stating what I can’t do is unnatural to me. The occupational therapist assessing me for my disabled badge asked me things, which I didn’t have an answer to and she advised me to apply for pip but first to think about how I do things. I’ve had an invasive hysterectomy and I’m hoping for health/mobility improvement and not to need to apply for it - actually should have done so years ago bla bla bla. But I’m mindset what I can do.

My "egg doner" used to switch between kicking me around because I was a clumzy twat (and alive, actually) and using my lack of sight to her own advantage. People are cunts. They don't deserve you. We kick ass despite our physical shit...unfortunately, there is no cure for twatism.

if narcissistic abusive cuntism was a disabillity they'd be on PIP by now 😂

You sound fabulous op. Ds is ONS and has a wicked sense of humour that not everyone gets. I think he’s amazing.

Also, I think people with a natural "fight" in them may struggle. We spend all our lives trying to prove we CAN do things, and it seems unnatural to then fill out a form saying we can't!

I found doing my kids’ DLA forms soul destroying. As a parent you want to list the things they CAN do, and the way they work round the struggles they face and actually that in the face of a hell of a lot they’re fucking awesome wee humans who I’m very proud of!

40 odd pages of listing the most difficult things they face and how they can’t do things is shite. But also necessary.

Ha! Does he, like me, assume that, because he finds something funny, so will everyone else? 😁

YeTalk but you did it anyway...good on you. 💙

Thanks, I did one, I’m halfway through the other two keep putting it off for that exact reason!

Well if you need a place to rant while you're doing it, you know where we are.

I helped my DH with the PIP forms and it is a bloody soul destroying exercise designed to make disabled people feel as shit as possible about themselves!

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley

Thank you

This is one of my favourite threads on Mumsnet. You are certainly not a twat Radley, you are the just opposite (or is the opposite of twat, penis? You're neither).

I get pip, enhanced mobility. It says for taxis when other people could get the bus or tube, upkeep of my mobility scooter etc etc. And gin.
I never tell anyone I get it, not a soul.

And gin

Which, in the olden days, would have been used as a painkiller. So it's basically a requirement!