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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've just been a complete twat...

480 replies

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 03/08/2018 13:20

I think, anyway! Not sure now! So I'll put it to the MN jury...and I'll happily apologize, because I have the ability to own my shit.

Chatting to a friend about going out tonight (after the week I've had, I bloody deserve it!)

She started on a massive stretch about me claiming PIP to "piss it up the wall", I obviously need the disposible income, etc, etc. It was really bitchy!

She's made catty comments in the past, but tbh I thought that was down to me- I have a weird sense of humor, and take the piss out of myself all the time. But never like this.

She said that, if I was independant enough to go out alone (I'll be meeting a friend, but eill be making my own way) I shouldn't be claiming Personal INDEPENDANCE Payment, and that "I'm what's wrong with the government atm!

I sent her a REALLY sarky text in reply, but it's made me doubt myself!

I need to calm down...

OP posts:
Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 09/08/2018 09:31
OP posts:
Queenofthestress · 09/08/2018 09:37

I can't decide if I should be happy he's got something atleast or gutted that they've only given him middle rate

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 09/08/2018 09:43

Please remember too (this sucks donkey balls!) that if you appeal, they will take the whole thing into reconsideration iyswim. 🤨

OP posts:
Queenofthestress · 09/08/2018 10:17

Think I might have to see how long they've awarded it for, my friends DD has the same & they didn't award high rate until she was 7

Mum wants me to sign up to the befriending service the carers people offer, my response was nah thanks I'm alright having no friends! Grin

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 09/08/2018 10:35

Ha! Tell her you have enough trouble keeping up with us lot! 😂

I am about to go to work, and sit in the same office as the twat who was the original subject of this thread. Smile and wave and don't end up on a jail cell right?

OP posts:
Queenofthestress · 09/08/2018 11:35

If you get sent down for murder ask for hull prison 🙈

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 09/08/2018 20:57

I didn't get arrested...

And...

I found out tonight that zi can fit the top of a pint glass in my mouth when I stretch it!!!

This is why I can't drink lager in the sun.

To bed.

Merry Christmas!

OP posts:
BabySharkDooDooDooDoo · 09/08/2018 20:59

I dont think your a twat by any means. Id say its the opposite and that your so called friend is the twat. If you have pip then there will be a good reason that you have been awarded it. Is she jealous of the extra money from pip?

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 09/08/2018 21:04

I now want to go and try that Rad! 🍺

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 09/08/2018 21:14

You NEED to. Shove it on your bucket list. I looked like wallace and Grommet! 🤩😁

OP posts:
PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 09/08/2018 21:17

Bucket list? If I could be arsed to get out of bed, I'd do it now! It'll have to wait until the morning.

Jux · 09/08/2018 21:24

The whole of it? The whole of the top of a pint glass?! Kudos!

I had a friend who could fit 7 Jacob's cream crackers in her mouth at once without breaking them.

Couldn't get them out though.

MarklahMarklah · 09/08/2018 23:05

Radley no, he hasn't appealed as far as I know. The issues around the court case ( full details of what it relates to, I don't have, other than it relates to a time in his childhood when he should have been being protected) have caused far too much stress and anxiety.
But apparently, as he's autistic, he isn't considered "reliable" by the defence ( or by the prosecution, who are bringing the case for him and vulnerable others). Also, it appears that it is perceived to be his autism that makes him think he is in more pain than he is.
Although apparently, they're looking to now reinstate pain clinic after the last suite of tests showed that his pain level actually was at "kill me now".Angry

AndBabyMakes3 · 09/08/2018 23:55

Two things have resonated with me from this thread - 1). What a supportive place MN is at times despite all the troll hunting and general BS responses, especially in AIBU and 2). I'm very much in awe and a little bit in love with @AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley ♡

Hope all PP get the support you need xx

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 10/08/2018 06:07

Markla he has you i his corner- which is an advantage right there. I hate to make assumptions, but the "part of his childhood when he should have been protected"...we have that in common if I'm reading it correctly?

Safe place here

💙💙💙

OP posts:
Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 10/08/2018 06:07

*,in his cornet

OP posts:
Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 10/08/2018 06:07

CORNED!

OP posts:
Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 10/08/2018 06:08

.

OP posts:
PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/08/2018 07:31

What Marklah? Nobody else can tell how much pain you're in! If he feels in that amount of pain, he's in that amount of pain! I don't even understand that. Can someone help me out? Confused

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/08/2018 07:33

Rad, I'd give up if I were you! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/08/2018 09:34

Here's a question:

On Tuesday, DS2 and I were in the Sainsbury's café for lunch. Children on a nearby table were staring and whispering, I'm guessing about DS2's disabled child trolley. I may have stared back. Then their mother came back and asked me if something was wrong, quite aggressively. I said, "No!" in a surprised tone. I felt like shit. What should I have done?

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 10/08/2018 09:50

I would have said "yup- the fact that your kids have mistaken mine for the Statue of Liberty (staring as if he's some sort of attraction).

I can "feel" people staring occasionally (not just paranoia- people have confirmed it). I've done things like

-make monkey noises and gestures
-used my phone to "call in sick as I've just got a new job as a work of art" (called my voicemail😁)

Gotten a friend to "time direct" me (,3.00 from your face, etc) looked in their direction, given a big cheesy grin and waved

What does DS think about being stared at?

Oh...once when I was with a friend in a wheelchair. Of course, if you can't walk and can't see, you can't hear people talking about you behind you in the queue either! I turned around and said "you think she's cool NOW? Put a quid in her and she does cartwheels!"

Own it. 😁

OP posts:
PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/08/2018 10:32

Thanks Rad, I'll file those away. Of course I'll have forgotten them in 10 minutes. Stupid shit executive function.

fluffypudcats · 10/08/2018 10:46

@Thinkingofausername1

"I don't think it's friends business if you are on benefits. You have it for a reason. I don't tell friends about it, particularly people who don't understand my situation. I would leave her to it now."

That had me snorting with laughter when I read that as friends with benefits! (Not sure why the quote is so tiny)

I had major brain surgery last year. To most people, I look,sound and act "normally". What they don't see is the effort I have to put into behaving like this. They don't see me having a major panic attack in the supermarket from the noise, the lighting and that people can't fucking drive trolleys or think about how others are affected by their stupidity.

I've had to move jobs for my mental health and well-being. Why? Cos my so-called supportive colleagues aren't.

I'm registered disabled. I prefer handicapped, like golf. I am handicapped in day to day life but I work bloody hard to make my life as able as possible. But it's hard. I didn't qualify for a sodding bus pass cos I could walk 100m. Really?!

Thank you for this thread. We are fucking ace Grin

MarklahMarklah · 10/08/2018 10:51

i try Rad but he likes to be as independent as possible, which sometimes leads to him knocking himself out energy-wise for days on end. We're due a catch up soon so I'll see what I can find out without being rude or intrusive.

I can't really elaborate on the childhood thing. It was a long time before I knew him, and one of his 'things' is to start telling me about someone/something as though I know the backstory (which I don't). All I know is that his childhood was extremely dysfunctional, it was a large family and that the parents were unable to manage the brood they'd sired. It'd be too outing/rude and presumptuous of me to give more details as it's his life not mine. Quite what the level of abuse (or extent) or by whom I don't know. Other than it happened, it traumatised him and he wasn't believed then, or, it seems now.("Because autistics well, they make stuff up")

Love your clap-back about the friend in a wheelchair. And in fact, all your responses to rude and ignorant people.