I've just been a complete twat...

[AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley]

I think, anyway! Not sure now! So I'll put it to the MN jury...and I'll happily apologize, because I have the ability to own my shit.

Chatting to a friend about going out tonight (after the week I've had, I bloody deserve it!)

She started on a massive stretch about me claiming PIP to "piss it up the wall", I obviously need the disposible income, etc, etc. It was really bitchy!

She's made catty comments in the past, but tbh I thought that was down to me- I have a weird sense of humor, and take the piss out of myself all the time. But never like this.

She said that, if I was independant enough to go out alone (I'll be meeting a friend, but eill be making my own way) I shouldn't be claiming Personal INDEPENDANCE Payment, and that "I'm what's wrong with the government atm!

I sent her a REALLY sarky text in reply, but it's made me doubt myself!

I need to calm down...

Would solve the not enough space issue too.

@PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks It depends on how your condition affects you. Look at the descriptors for a better idea.

www.focusondisability.org.uk/personal-independence-payment-PIP-assessment-points.html

The system is soul destroying. There's nothing worse than an assessor minimising your issues. I've been disabled for thirty years but apparently may be cured in the next three years!

Bombadier I'm aware of a child who attends my DD's school who is in receipt of some allowances because of their disability. A lifelong condition. I understand that the assessor asked if the child might 'grow out of it'.
(The school were also trying to get some funding to help support the child, and were asked similar stupid questions)

I LOVE the Lost Voice Guy!

He's like me- but quieter!

Re: autism etc. The main place you would score points is if you have isdues with communication- body language, social skills. Also, do you (like me- aspie) have issues with losing concentration while you're cooking and completing otjer tasks? Do you go into complete meltdown if the bus is late, or tskes a different route? These are just examples. There's no harm in trying.

For those awaiting ftf appointments, if you can have someone with you, please do. What the wankers don't seem to realize is that speaking eloquently does not mean a disabillity affects you any less- I hope no one takes this the wrong way, but if someone can speak FOR you, it rams the point home that you're struggling.

If you're shitting bricks on the day (or 3 bed semis in my case) don't hide it. Again, prople who have no fucking clue a limited knowledge of the condition, as the fuckjacket assessor may be, need it to be "in their face" obvious iyswim.

Whoever is with you, get them to read the form/your notes. Not only will they be able to mention things you forget, they may even think of things you haven't? DH mentioned about things like roadworks at the bus stop I usually get off at for work: because it wasn't"the right route" it took me an hour to navigate through town! I wouldn't have thought of this, because I just got on with it that day and cried in the loo at work because it's a "normal struggle".

I know this one is obvious- but remember to fill out the forms- and answer the ftf questions- as if you're having the shittiest day ever, not the best. Speaking of which, they will do home assessments if you ask for them and have a reason to be unable to make it to the centre.

💙💚😎

I wonder if I can use something that my family coach believes to be true, but isn't in fact true? The only other one would be social interaction, but I'd get about 2 points. 😭

Yes Rad, my 2 problematic areas are social interaction and executive function. I'm never quite sure how I'm coming across to people, when it's appropriate to give someone a hug if they're upset for example, I have a shit memory and I think slowly. If I've got things in order in my head, if someone talks to me, I forget what comes next.

Unfortunately, DS2 never fucking stops talking! 😭

Is social anxiety a reason to be unable to make it to the centre? Although I don't like people invading my safe space either...

I personally think so! Those WITHOUT social anxiety will be bricking it walking through that door...fuck knows how you'd feel! If they want you to be able to answer any questions coherently, they should agree to see you in your own space.

Re: the two points. Apologies if I've said this before- I either have on here, or in a PM. Take every "activity", and break it down into a step by step process. Ask how- let's use anxiety again for this- would affect, or prevent, your ability to complete them. So (apologies in advance if thisoffends ANYONE...but I think you guys have got the gist of me now- I'm only an unintentional cunt!-

-washing and dressing. Nervewrecking when you're panicking about dressing appropriately for work/school/shopping/Star Trek Conventions/whatever. Do you ever have to be reminded or encouraged to wash your hair or shower? My friend has anxiety (I know everyone's different) and she has to be encouraged. That's if she has any clean clothes in the first place: sometimes she struggles to sleep and the housework can go to pot for weeks.

How would you cope while out, if there was an emergency? Would you be able to stay calm enough to locate a fire escape? Read a map for directions? Ask someone where the bathroom is?

While shopping: are you able to ask gor help if you can't find a product? Confront a shopkeeper if they've overcharged/-given you the wrong change?

Fuck a moose- I sound like a patronizing cunt now. Apologies x10000000.

Ohhhhhh...and if there's a few haters lurking still you read right...I'm giving people lessons in "Attention Seeking 101, and How To Milk The System' 😁😁😁😁

Dressing: I just put on the first clean thing I find generally. I don't work, because I don't think I could get through an interview, school and shopping, first clean thing I find, Star Trek convention, I'd go as Kira Nerys! 😂

Washing: I think people think I need reminding to wash my hair or shower, the reality is that the only time I get to do it is when the DC are in bed, and I'm usually too knackered.

I'm actually really calm in an emergency, but other people freaking out wind me up. I can read a map for directions, but then forget the way. I can ask people where the bathroom is.

Shopping: I can ask for help. I actually get really arsey with shopkeepers if they've overcharged me.

So, what do you reckon? 😀

Vis a vis your vow renewal, would you consider including a theramin? I think some theramin accompanied by a serpent and perhaps some Cleo Laine-type singing scatting over the top would be quite effective and perhaps rather symbolic too.

So, Ds has come home from staying over night at his aunties, in the 3 & half hours between coming home and going to bed hes;-
Tried to throw DD off the sofa
Jumped off the top of the sofa repeatedly onto DP
Bit me
Kicked me in the face (a popped nose whilst trying to restrain the screeching child is fun!)
Laid on DD's head

Tonight is going to be great!

Radley some of those things you mention affect my friend. I'm hoping that when I next see him I can ask if/when he's due to be reasessed.
I don't understand the taking away his car. He has bought himself a camper which he's doing up but it's not an everyday vehicle. That is what the car was for. So he could go shopping and things like that. He can't get the bus or train, it's too much for him to process with noises, smells, signs, lights etc. because of his aspergers/autism. Add to that anxiety - he can't find the right bus stop, or doesn't know where to get off, or doesn't have the right change, or the bus takes a diversion. It's not do-able. And it's not possible for him to take the van to the supermarket as there's a height barrier which means he can't get in. Now he has to do his shopping piecemeal in stages with as much as he can physically manage to carry in one go.

As has been said by others, he too can read a map, but if there are no clear roadsigns, or too many roadsigns, or diversions then that will add to the stress. Or he may forget part of the route (he's currently experiencing memory problems which may be part of the PTSD or may be related to something else that he's currently being tested for). Or someone may cut him up. Any or all of those things will make the journey difficult.

Getting dressed is okay but he struggles to know what is appropriate. He may be too hot. Or too cold. Or overdressed for the occasion. Or underdressed. To be fair, he usually gets the appropriateness right, but not necessarily the comfort factor. Like Chris Packham, if he finds something he likes, he'll bulk buy it.

If there was an emergency when he was out, I don't think he'd cope well as he gets sensory overload. He might well go into meltdown.

As you can see, I'm keen to help him milk the system.

As a fellow VI person I'm loving your responses!

Good for you.

You know how shite I am at responding individually- I'll try 😁

Perfectly- you can but try. If you need some help applying, we're all parked here for a bit!

Queen- are you ok? Sounds like you had a shite few hours! 💙

Markla- did he appeal? This is what pisses me RIGHT off about The System! Happy to help you help him MTS if needs be...

VI has a double meaning in my case...Visually Impaired, and Very irritating!

I'm going back in a minute to see if I've missed anyone. I'm honestly not intentionally rude!

Random bit of news though...my optician thinks it may be a good idea for me to get a pair of "fake" glasses, by which the lenses themselves would be glass (well obviously! I'm not explaining this properly 😎) but they're transition lenses? I really struggle with the sun: going outside when it's sunny can leave me ouchful and stumbly for anything up to a half hour.

I'd have to wear them almost constsntly. I don't get it! What's wrong with just carrying my sunglasses around with me all the time? If anyone sensible can tell me the point, please do!

And another tip from How To Be A Blind Git 101: if you know you're having Big Eye Drops, take someone with you. Do NOT attempt to get to the bus station on your own. You will get extremely disorientated, there WILL be a glass window (what other kind of window would it be? Duh!) you WILL KO yourself by walking into aformentioned glass window, and end up in A and E with concussion. I now look like a clingon and a unicorn had a baby!

Please tell me I'm not the only dumbass when it comes to disability-related-incidents! 😀😀😀😀😀

Wait - being dressed inappropriately is a thing? Surely a t-shirt and jeans is acceptable in most situations?

I should not laugh at I now look like a Klingon and a unicorn had a baby! Sorry Rad.

Laugh all you like- it was bloody funny! The glass window was a Greggs, for anyone interested! 🤩🤩

If it's a routine change then hell hath no fury like DS very sore face this morning!
DS tries to lick the glass counter window of greggs!

@PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks it's moreso checking they're in the right clothing for the weather, e.g. DS will quite happily wear shorts, a t-shirt and nothing else in snow because he doesn't recognise that snow = a coat

Li king counters? That's a new one!

I chew stuff! Anything slightly rubbery or flexible will have teeth marks in it when I've finished with it!

He mainly chews things, he's been known to take a teething ring to school so he'll stop trying to eat the lego, but there's a few things he'll lick, I have no idea why, we just chalk it up to his uniqueness haha!
Currently we are watching the same 5 mins of paranorman on repeat as he likes the sound, he's got that Echolila so repeats things over and over if he likes the sound of it!
Going to ring the DLA people today and see if we have a decision or not then I know what I'm doing come November when the new payments kick in!

Keep us posted?

Have you tried letting him Queen? DD's possibly on the spectrum, and she didn't feel the cold when we had the snow, but she does if it's around 18°. School made them wear jumpers in the snow, she was far too hot! I don't think they should be mollycoddling then 10yos who'll be going to secondary in a couple of years. Aren't we trying to teach them to be independent?

DD's on a camping trip at the moment, my aunt's provided all her clothes, she tried to insist that she took her denim jacket, she didn't want it to get wrecked. My aunt said she'd need it for evenings. It's going to drop to 9° tonight, but she'll be in bed by then. She'll be round the campfire in her t-shirt. She's wanted to wear the jacket every day of the heatwave, and I haven't stopped her.

He just ends up mottled and wheezing if you let him
So I've spoke to them, they've awarded middle rate care based on the fact that I don't need to supervise him between wake ups

Fuck! Have they given him any mobility?

Are you appealing? ❤

We've got low rate mobility even though the ed psych report says his world awareness, awareness of danger & safety is the same as his 18 month old sister
I'm going to speak to the carers service and see what they say but I'll probably appeal, atleast it's high enough that I can still get carers allowance for him because trying to work around his appointments has got me fired three times in 10 months before we got it