about the “he’s friendly” “he’s just playing” brigade

[Springersrock]

This pisses me off

I have a dog. He’s 10. He’s OK with other dogs - never approaches other dogs but is happy to say hello and has a few buddies that he’s happy to go on walks with, but he absolutely hates it when other dogs come running up and bounce all over him, get in his face, snap at his ears, etc, etc. He’ll put up with it for a bit but will then growl/bark at them if they persist.

I always ask dog owners to come and get their dog away from mine and 9 times out of 10 get the “but he’s just playing” “He’s just being friendly” response from them

This morning I was walking him when we were accosted by a big bouncy Labrador - bouncing about all over my dog, right in his face, trying to mount him, and generally being a massive nuisance. I shouted to the owner several times who just got quite defensive and did the usual “he’s just playing” crap while standing there like a lemon. I tried to shoo the other dog away and get between them, but it was so bloody insistent that it was impossible.

Anyway, I totally lost my rag, told the owner to get her bloody dog and if she couldn’t control it then she shouldn’t let it off the lead - just at the same time as my dog lost his rag and snapped at the other dog - didn’t bite or make any contact, just a sort of barky/fuck off snap in the general direction of the other dog.

Obviously, my dog is now the bad guy and I’m the worst owner in the world and my dog should be put to sleep.

I’m honestly so pissed off with my dog being put in this position. He doesn’t want to play, he just wants to go for a walk

We have a local dog owners FB group and this discussion comes up time and time again with the “he’s just playing” brigade clearly thinking it’s fine to let their dogs harass other dogs who are just minding their own business and I just can’t fathom it

YANBU. Don't even bother being polite next time it happens. Just say on your coldest, most clipped voice:

'My dog doesn't want to be bothered. Please remove your dog immediately.'

I hate the he's just friendly brigade passionately

Friendly your dog may be random stranger this doesn't mean I want to have its paws on my clothes fuck off.

This has always riled me but riles me even more now that I deal with someone who is the embodiment of Entitled Dog Owner on a regular basis

Visibly hurt if you aren't effusive with joy at her dogs every fart.

I absolutely despair at the fuckwit dog walkers who let their dogs jump all around me and who try to explain it away with peevish, smiley explanations, kow-towing to their animal's playfulness.Here's the thing - if I'm not getting on all fours and rough-housing with their dog whilst screeching with pleasure, they can assume that I don't want to fucking play and get their animal off me. I'm with OP.

I hate the he's just friendly brigade passionately

So do I. My stock response is "But we're not....".

I presume your dog was on the lead, in which case you have the moral high ground.

The number of times I've been tempted to let BastatdSpaniel off the lead in such circumstances and let him sort out the nuisance dog, but it wouldn't be pretty and we would be blamed.

Off lead dogs should not approach on lead dogs. And repeat.

I hate these lazy sods who wont train their dogs. Tell them in no uncertain terms that your dog will bite. Also you could try a yellow lead which signifies stay away from my dog. Tell those who ignore it what it means.

YANBU I despise this also.
My dog is a rescue and he has some issues. He’s not always good with other dogs, particularly if they jump all over him. He’s getting better, after a lot of work, but it’s a constant battle trying to shield him from these off lead dogs. He’s particularly bothered by smaller breeds, of course the owners find it hilarious to see my much larger dog being frightened of their little dog. I’ve told people call your dog back mine is nervous over and over, “he’s just playing/being friendly” or laughing when they see my dog is scared.

OP, I am so with you on this one, it drives me to despair!
I have a German Shepherd Dog, who, like your dog, will tolerate other dogs, until they get in his face, and then he will snap, and it’s not pretty.
So, as soon as another dog approaches, I get my dog under close control, and shout to the other owner that he’s not friendly, and to call their dog back.
This results in either them being unable to, and my dog then giving them a warning for coming close, ending up in him being the bad dog. Or they call over ‘well he looks fine!’, which really pisses me off, because he only looks fine because he’s doing exactly what he’s told, and sitting down next to me. Ends up with same result as first scenario. I feel I can’t win, and I feel sorry for my poor well-behaved dog, who just wants to have his walk, as you say.

And I have a hi-vis yellow harness on my dog, and a yellow lead, and it seems to make no difference.

I always warn people off my tiny chi as they approach by telling them she’s a snappy little shitbag. Then it’s up to them. And yes, she has occasionally snapped at dogs that get in her face. Funnily enough she is much better around bigger dogs. And she’s usually off lead because she won’t go near any one and she is a holy terror on the lead with other dogs.

So my advice is to pre empt it with the owners and say if your dog approaches mine he’ll get a mouthful.

Any dog owner who says he's just playing/being friendly is a shit dog owner and shouldn't have a dog.

YANBU

There's a bloke in our park who's dog does this except his dog hates my dog for no apparent reason so comes over snapping and growling rather than playing. "Oh it's fine", says the bloke. "If you just let them grizzle at each other, they'll sort it out between them".

No, you cunt. I don't bring my dog to the park on lead for her to grizzle and growl at other dogs.

The bloke is a fucking half-wit. I've been clippy, I've cited the by-law which says dogs need to be one lead, I've shouted at him, I've sworn at him, I've thrown water at his dog. I've threatened him with the local dog warden.

NOTHING WORKS.

I've now started wearing a Gro-pro thing to capture him/his dog/the interaction and will tell him I'm sending the footage to the local dog warden and the police. I haven't seen him for a while hope he's moved away.... or something else

Although she slipped her harness just outside our house once (her territory) and completely went for the muzzled rottie that was passing. I was mortified. The owner found it quite funny but holy shit.

Yes, he was on his lead at this point, although I did let go of it as we were getting tangled.

We walk through our housing estate, across a park, down a lane and out into open fields - I keep him on his lead until we get to the fields. We were walking through the park when it happened

When he was a puppy we worked and worked and worked on his recall and walking to heel. Rented a private enclosed field so we could walk him off lead until recall was reliable and never allowed him to hassle other dogs or jump up at people.

He’s a good boy, he’s OK with other dogs when they approach him properly and then back off, he’s got a couple of buddies who we walk with and they just mooch along together. It’s the ones who jump all over him that are the problem.

We’ve got a yellow lead - the last person I explained it’s meaning told me “well, he shouldn’t be allowed out then”

I hate this. My DH's mum has two sausage dogs which aren't great with people they don't know or other dogs - they will growl, snap and occasionally get as far as a bite if allowed to. Because of this they are kept under strict control - short leads etc. But because they are small and cute, people behave so badly around them.

We've had people let their dogs come running up and harass them, owners laughing at how cute it is until their dog gets snapped at (and then we're the bad guys).

I've seen parents encourage their toddlers to go and 'stroke the tiny dog!' And then say 'oh it's ok she loves puppies!' When we say she can't.

One woman asked if she could pat them, we told her no, they aren't good with people and she said 'aww it's ok dogs love me!', shoved her hand in the face of one of them, and got bitten. It drives me up the wall, and now my MIL is considering muzzling them on walks which is a shame because it would be totally unnecessary if other people would behave sensibly.

With you OP. I hate this - my dog is nervous of some other dogs (although better than he was). I doubt he will ever be completely comfortable though because of idiots like this. We also have a yellow jacket - makes little difference

I'm with you OP. My border collie has a yellow lead with "NERVOUS" on it in big black letters. Yet the fuckwits still let their badly behaved, snappy little dogs run up and harass her, while the owners simper "He wants to be friends!"
Then, as you say, we look like the bad guys when our dogs react. There seems to be a certain type of very stupid human who buys a tiny fluffy dog because it's cute and doesn't think it needs to be treated and trained as a dog.

This is the first thing I teach clients at puppy class - do NOT teach your dog to hurtle up to other dogs or people, it is not 'socialisation' it is RUDE and it will get your dog into trouble.

If EVERYONE stuck to the very simple rule of keeping their dogs under close control either via a lead or long line if they are not well trained yet, or just voice control if they are, and then ASKED the other owner if its ok for the dogs to meet, we would have far fewer problems, far fewer reactive dogs, far fewer dog on dog attacks.

It's just fucking manners after all, and if you can't be bothered or you have struggled to train your dog, stick a harness on and use a 30ft long line so you can stop your dog and physically get it under control so it cannot harrass anyone else. So simple!

There seems to be a certain type of very stupid human who buys a tiny fluffy dog because it's cute and doesn't think it needs to be treated and trained as a dog.

Oh this gives me the rage. I love dogs. But IT'S A FUCKING DOG not a cuddly toy!

Also seeing people who have no idea that you have to train a dog to walk on a lead. So frustrating.

We own the friendliest sweetest dog. However he is the size of a small pony and he pulls like a steam train. He thinks everyone wants to be his friend and loves people and other dogs. It is precisely because of this that he is NOT allowed off lead! He is walked on a collar and lead in built up areas and has a harness and long leash for open spaces but my husband is constantly watching out for other dogs/people so he can rein him in before he introduces himself with a big smoochy kiss.

The other thing people forget is that a dog doesn't have to be malicious to hurt you. I am covered with bruises from our dog - not a nasty thought in his head but he occasionally wants to share the sofa or sit on my knee and his is heavy!

YANBU. I hate this too.

My dog is a rescue and gets very stressed when other dogs approach her (some, but not all, and no way of knowing how it will go).

She is ALWAYS on the lead, luckily small enough for me to pick up if need be, but that's not always ideal in the winter/wet.

I just clearly tell the other dogs' owners:

'Please put your dog on a lead, mine is very unpredictable.'

Get the inevitable 'Oh, but mine's friendly...'

I just reply, 'Well mine ISN'T.'

Usually does the trick but such a pain in the arse. Every bloody time.

One of my neighbours has a tiny chihuahua who she lets run riot - it’s too small to hurt anyone apparently.

It regularly escapes and more than once has accosted my dog - she thinks it’s hilarious. Yeah, you’ll be laughing on the other side of your face when my much bigger dog gets pissed off with it hanging from his ears.

I’m pretty sure these people would hate it if I went running up to them and pranced about like an idiot in their faces, jumping on their backs and pulling at their ears, so why should my dog have to put up with it.

I’m not massively polite - just please come and get your dog, then less polite if I have to ask more than once.

I avoid places/times where I know huge groups of dog owners gather but sometimes I just want to walk him when it’s convenient for me

I am struggling with this with BastardPup- he is 14 weeks and learning to walk on a loose lead, but thinks that everyone in the world wants to fuss him. He gets most put out if they walk past, and when someone does stop he gets over-excited. Well aware that we need him sussed and sorted before he is too big...

YANBU!
I have a lab-vizsla cross so you can imagine how far to the maximum my dog takes bounding and bouncing. We’ve worked hard on calming this trait down but he’s nearly 3, so time is our greatest wonder worker.
So yes, I believe I have the friendliest dog in the world. This doesn’t mean he’s harmless. His actions produce anxiety in other dogs and owners. Why would I want my dog to do to others what I wouldn’t want done to mine? Bounding over to other dogs, it happens to me with my dog from time to time (usually we’re alone on a great, big common, so he’s off lead). But the lead goes right back on if he’s annoying other dogs and owners. No questions asked. It’s what you do when you respect the needs of others.

Mine didn’t do friendly on lead. Luckily he made his feelings known so they’d grab their dogs, but if they just gave him space it would have been easier.

Not everyone or every dog wants to be friends!