about the “he’s friendly” “he’s just playing” brigade

[Springersrock]

This pisses me off

I have a dog. He’s 10. He’s OK with other dogs - never approaches other dogs but is happy to say hello and has a few buddies that he’s happy to go on walks with, but he absolutely hates it when other dogs come running up and bounce all over him, get in his face, snap at his ears, etc, etc. He’ll put up with it for a bit but will then growl/bark at them if they persist.

I always ask dog owners to come and get their dog away from mine and 9 times out of 10 get the “but he’s just playing” “He’s just being friendly” response from them

This morning I was walking him when we were accosted by a big bouncy Labrador - bouncing about all over my dog, right in his face, trying to mount him, and generally being a massive nuisance. I shouted to the owner several times who just got quite defensive and did the usual “he’s just playing” crap while standing there like a lemon. I tried to shoo the other dog away and get between them, but it was so bloody insistent that it was impossible.

Anyway, I totally lost my rag, told the owner to get her bloody dog and if she couldn’t control it then she shouldn’t let it off the lead - just at the same time as my dog lost his rag and snapped at the other dog - didn’t bite or make any contact, just a sort of barky/fuck off snap in the general direction of the other dog.

Obviously, my dog is now the bad guy and I’m the worst owner in the world and my dog should be put to sleep.

I’m honestly so pissed off with my dog being put in this position. He doesn’t want to play, he just wants to go for a walk

We have a local dog owners FB group and this discussion comes up time and time again with the “he’s just playing” brigade clearly thinking it’s fine to let their dogs harass other dogs who are just minding their own business and I just can’t fathom it

I don’t think you should stress yourself too much about it, and by that, I mean, when I first got my dog, she’d been in kennels for a month, was a year old, no training and could be over the top with other dogs. Young dogs loved her, old dogs were annoyed by her and I’d let them tell her off (even if she was on lead) because it taught her manners.

Now she’s old and full of arthritis so when young boisterous dogs coming running over, she tells them off and I let her. Most of the time I don’t think she really means it (as I think she secretly likes puppies) and the young dogs ignore her and keep jumping at her. But if she really does means it, they get the message and leave her alone. She never snaps or bites, just more of a “fuck off” bark. It’s dogs teaching each other boundaries and as long as you can trust him to never take it further and bite, I don’t think you need to stress yourself about your dog telling them off.

I’m not trying to dismiss how annoying those over excited dogs can be, but more that you shouldn’t carry the worry on your shoulders if that makes sense.

YANBU
My dog had a wound on his neck a few weeks ago so he was on the leadand a dog came running up to him, jumping and licking. I ended up having to wrap my arms around my dog's neck so that the other dog didn't catch his wound. Stupid owner just sauntered along at her own pace, no apology at all and came out with 'she just wants to play, she's bonkers haha'. Fuck. Off. Twat.
There is usually a reason why a dog is on a lead and it usually means that it isn't going to want to play!

Ah, this does my head in! My old rescue collie was nervous aggresive around dogs she didnt know-any dog that bounced up to her was quickly snapped at, rounded up and held! I used to leash her if i didnt know the dog and shout shes not friendly. Oh but he only wants to play!
Mine doesnt and will use her teeth to tell your dog to fuck off! In her old age, I used to block other dogs with my body and even had to kick a couple off her as they were hurting her! Then its my dogs fault!

Just does my head in-its not up to my dog to teach yours manners!!

Now we have a pointer who is big bouncy and wants to be friends with everyone! Given the chance, he would bounce up to and play with every human, dog, cat, hedgehog, cow and deer he saw. But we trained him not to, cos its fuckin rude!! He's a large powerful dog, like every dog he should be under control or on a leash.

It's so annoying and male labradors in particular can be so obnoxious. If you can see it coming at all, slip off the lead which for most most dogs helps their confidence and body language immensely and worst case scenario allows them to flee. Walk on fast and call your dog and hope that your dog comes with you and that the other one might not bother to follow. I know it's not a perfect answer as it could look as if your dog is being deliberately unleashed to fight, but ime these owners are so thick that all the yellow leads and warning calls in the world won't yield a response.

I had this. The dog I was with was muzzled and harnessed, she was brilliant with people and kids but was a rescue fighting dog. She was NOT friendly with other dogs. The muzzle was very visible.

A 'friendly and playful' spaniel came bounding up to her. Thankfully for me I'd taught her to lie down and play dead between my legs at the approach of other dogs, which she did, whilst I shooed the other dog away. The owner came lolloping along going, it's ok, she's friendly.

I gave that owner what for. It's like she had never considered that some dogs aren't as friendly as hers. As my dog would have been the one to suffer had anything happened despite me taking precautions. When we first got her we had to sit on her when other dogs approached (and therefore would only walk her early AM and late PM and in areas unfrequented by other dog walkers) as she would attempt to escape the muzzle and go for their neck.

Some dog owners are stupid.

YANBU same thing's happened to my dogs, countless times, drives me mad. If you're polite about it then it gets ignored, if you're even vaguely snippy a torrent of abuse. But also find the same problem with people who let their small children loose on dogs there swearing works, as people seem more worried about their children picking up 'bad language' than potentially being snapped at or bitten by an unknown dog! Not that my dogs do bite but the parents don't know this, and anyway any animal can react badly if suddenly mauled by an unknown child.

I don’t own a dog but don’t mind them. The “oh he won’t hurt you” brigade are bloody out in force. I went round to my neighbours the other day to pick up a parcel with my daughter and their huge German Shepherd launched itself out of the house onto my 3 yr old. She is a gorgeous dog and very “friendly” but my daughter went batshit, screaming and climbing my legs. The owner just said “oh she won’t hurt her”. Yes I fucking know but the dog is huge and her face is right in my toddlers and she is bloody terrified! He didn’t attempt to pull her off. Since then, my daughter(who previously loved all dogs) has been petrified when strange dogs have come to investigate her. “Oh he won’t hurt her” is the call that follows. My response? “Yes but she is terrified and doesn’t know that! Please call them away!”. Why don’t dog owners understand that? And actually I’m not going to train my daughter into thinking that every dog is harmless as that would be bloody stupid.

I would just as annoyed if they were doing this to my dog rather than my child.

This is really gets on my wick and I totally agree with you. We have a German Shepherd, he's a big lad, he is well-behaved, good with other dogs generally (apart from Golden Retrievers, he seems to hate them for some reason) but he doesn't like his space being invaded really and can bark and let them know to go away.

As he is a big lad, and with the stigma attached to his breed, we never let him off the lead in public space or where other dogs are. We don't muzzle him because he is not aggressive or not friendly.

I loose count of the dogs who are off the lead that come bounding towards him, sometimes aggressively, sometimes friendly. All shapes and sizes, from Chihuahuas to Labradors. We will steer him away to avoid the confrontation, and will get from owners 'aw he just wants to say hello'. Well actually my dog doesn't necessarily want to say hello. And then he barks and yes our dog looks like the a$$hole and we have been accused of being irresponsible owners who should have him muzzled.

Another scenario, my best friend is petrified of dogs, if one bounds up to her, she is frightened and she has her own reasons for this. Or what if someone is allergic, you just don't know, in public spaces, dogs should be kept on leads.

Another scenario, walking to work one day, cut across a park, wearing smart clean work clothes, a spaniel bounded right up to me and put his filthy paws on me. The owner said what a friendly dog he is, loves people etc. I do not give a f**k how friendly your dog is he has just covered me in filth!

youreallanunch puppy school! Some of it’s a bit useless but a lot of it is vital. Puppy school trained me to be the Alpha, if anything. It gave me the confidence to train and command obedience from my much wanted 4th child, err, I mean dog.

YADNBU
The people who tend to do this also have the same approach when their dog is approaching children. My dog is so placid but when he is out with my children he is massively overprotective and thinks any dog who comes running up is a threat and responds accordingly.
If your dog has no recall and is over interested in others walking it should be on a lead.

YANBU at all OP. We are in the same situation with our 9 year old rescued Greyhound. He's never bitten another dog but will give a good growl when mounted or jumped. I've also now got a 9 month old DS so have my hands full on walks as it is without having to try and manage other people's completely out of control dogs. My dog is muzzled and this still doesn't seem to alert others to the fact that he doesn't want to be bounced, it drives me scatty! Such irresponsibility from other owners.

Just reply 'well mine is not so get yours away before it gets hurt'.

I hate any one who uses the 'just being friendly/only wants to play' bollocks, my dogs are small and are constantly being bounced on by bigger out of control dogs, plus one has had his knees operated on and doesn't need a hefty overweight out of control lab trouncing upon him, I have only just started trying to regain my confidence after a goady horrible man reduced me to tears berating me for telling him to get his dog away, as apparently I know nothing about dogs and that my dog screaming in fear as his Golden Retriever tried to mount her (she is fixed), all I asked was for him to come and get his dog as my two stood behind me trying to get away from this over eager rude dog.

I also hate the ones with over excited puppies who expect my dog to get so annoyed by their behaviour that they will 'tell their puppy off' except my dogs don't do that plus why should my placid little fluff balls be pushed over their thresholds to correct your arsehole of a dog.

My stock response is "But we're not....".

I LOVE this

“Just does my head in-its not up to my dog to teach yours manners!!”

I totally agree. It’s not my dog’s responsibility.

I don’t know how far he’d take it - I trust him, I don’t think he’d go beyond a snap, but if they persist? He’s a dog!! It annoys me that he’s even put in that position

I just can’t fathom the attitude of these people.

'Please restrain your dog or mine may attack him'

I have a really good-natured dog who will put up with any amount of stroking, patting, hugging etc from humans. However he is less tolerant of dogs - he won't do much apart from the odd little growly noise under his breath unless they are too boisterous and persistent and then he will snap at them. He did that to a half-grown lab last summer - the dog was all over ours for ages and the owner was just laughing (DH didn't say anything and I wasn't there).
And then of course there are the dogs he likes and they can do what they like

A local man with a spaniel came and sat with us as 'his dog wants to say hello' apparently.
I was siting wrapping the lead of my muzzle wearing rottweiler round the seat as he got closer and closer she was nearly hyperventilating!!
Politely advised him on to go sit elsewhere!!
Sorry mate but my ddog fucking hates yours!!

I’ve got a bouncy lab. We too have worked bloody hard on his obedience and he’s a very well behaved dog but he also loves everybody. The trouble is he’s rewarded every time he goes up to someone to say hello. They make a big fuss of him and teach him that it’s fine, despite me telling them to shoo him away. It doesn’t happen very often, we live out in the sticks but it’s annoying when it does. It’s embarrassing when you’re in town and he pulls like a train to say hello to everyone. They think he’s lovely and that I’m weird for telling him off and pulling him away. This is why I don’t take him into town very often, which is a shame. Mind you if I’d done it more to begin with we might have cracked it by now.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a dog, any size. So I don’t want to sound like some blatant endorser for the Big Gun Dog Brigade (which I am ) but there seems to be this tacit approval of yappy small breeds running amok, jumping up on my dog, barking and yelping in his face, jumping up on my younger kids. And owners stand there, smiling at the mad antics of their gorgeous accessory breed. My four year old son will find your Great Dane and love it to death! But set a Pomeranian off on him and he’ll run for the hills! He and our dog will cross borders at speed to escape the fear launched upon them by a Pomeranian or Maltese (I really love these little guys. Couldn’t handle the barking but they’re lovely).

YANBU, OP. The off-leash area where I exercised my late pooch was full of dogs. Like yours, my dog had friends, but could not be doing with dogs who mithered him, especially puppies/young dogs, and would growl to keep them off.

I'm pleased to say that without exception, the owners of bouncy dogs/puppies always said of their dog - he has to learn his manners. The growling is putting the other in its place in the dog world. In fact they brought their dogs to the off-leash area to get socialised and learn their dog manners.

YANBU

I had my 17 week old puppy on a lead at the beach the other day and an older Labrador off the lead kept coming up to her, sniffing her then growling and snapping at her. We kept moving away but the dog kept following us and doing the same thing again. Owner did nothing except shout across not to mind the dog, he is harmless really. Never mind the fact that my 17 week old puppy was getting nervous about a dog triple her size keep following her and snapping at her. Had to pick her up and carry her away in the end

That is a good point about dogs being protective of children. I have two terriers, one very stand offish, so tends to ignore people and one very scared of strangers and other dogs after she was attacked by a greyhound when she was a puppy. They were playing in some woods near us one day with my youngest daughter when a spaniel came bounding up and my male terrier went for him, teeth bared, yammering and making all sorts of racket. Luckily, he didn't bite him, it was all a warning but it gave us a fright! I really do thin he was protecting my daughter.

YANBU
I have a massively reactive rescue. Because he’s of a particular breed ( let’s just say hated by the DM) any issues are deemed to be his fault. Your bloody untrained chihuahua snapping at himand he reacts. His fault. Your lovely lollopy lab runs over to say hello and can’t be recalled so he lunges and snarls. His fault. He’s scared not aggressive. He’s on lead and under control and we steer him away from other dogs.
Still remember the bloke whose dog wound him up to the point he really snapped but blamed us. I apologised and I wish I hadn’t.

Drives me mad too - especially when they are running round us and barking. My Sheltie hates anyone behind her and puts up with it for so long and then barks and growls. I am then the bad owner because my dog is on a lead, and barking at a big dog with its nose up her bum.

And as for the 'he/she is just playing' comment - well we don't want to play thanks. I find it really scary as have had a dog attacked with a 'friendly' dog before - it is horrible having your dog attacked, especially when they are on a lead and cannot escape.

YANBU. Mum and dad own a Scottish Terrier, cute but notoriously grumpy, and both dogs and people come barrelling up to her on lead. For dogs "He's just friendly!" is met with dad's deadpan "She isn't," just before she bares her teeth and lunges (no biting, just warning).