about the “he’s friendly” “he’s just playing” brigade

[Springersrock]

This pisses me off

I have a dog. He’s 10. He’s OK with other dogs - never approaches other dogs but is happy to say hello and has a few buddies that he’s happy to go on walks with, but he absolutely hates it when other dogs come running up and bounce all over him, get in his face, snap at his ears, etc, etc. He’ll put up with it for a bit but will then growl/bark at them if they persist.

I always ask dog owners to come and get their dog away from mine and 9 times out of 10 get the “but he’s just playing” “He’s just being friendly” response from them

This morning I was walking him when we were accosted by a big bouncy Labrador - bouncing about all over my dog, right in his face, trying to mount him, and generally being a massive nuisance. I shouted to the owner several times who just got quite defensive and did the usual “he’s just playing” crap while standing there like a lemon. I tried to shoo the other dog away and get between them, but it was so bloody insistent that it was impossible.

Anyway, I totally lost my rag, told the owner to get her bloody dog and if she couldn’t control it then she shouldn’t let it off the lead - just at the same time as my dog lost his rag and snapped at the other dog - didn’t bite or make any contact, just a sort of barky/fuck off snap in the general direction of the other dog.

Obviously, my dog is now the bad guy and I’m the worst owner in the world and my dog should be put to sleep.

I’m honestly so pissed off with my dog being put in this position. He doesn’t want to play, he just wants to go for a walk

We have a local dog owners FB group and this discussion comes up time and time again with the “he’s just playing” brigade clearly thinking it’s fine to let their dogs harass other dogs who are just minding their own business and I just can’t fathom it

I'm the owner of the daft 'I want to be everyone's friend' dog. He is very short on brain power and has no sense of other might not want to be his bosom chum immediately. he has form for approaching cats in the garden, tail wagging, stupid grin, play position and getting hissed and spat at for his pains. He's not going to change - that is his nature.

But I am totally aware that many (probably most) dogs are not as daft as he is, he's also still very young and full on. I don't let him bother other dogs, I keep him on a flexi lead most of the time so he can't bowl smaller dogs off their feet. If other dogs approach I say 'he's very friendly, but also very pushy' so people can make thier choice.

I love him the way he is, but can perfectly understand that other dog owners or non dog owners don't want to be licked all over, hugged and kissed by an idiot poodle.

I have friends who have nervous rescue dogs, or quiet dogs or very little dogs, and it is my responsibility not to let my boisterous boy force his affections on them when they don't want it.

My one dog is a very nervous rescue , my other is a none nervous but extremely bouncy boxer. Anyone that’s seen the boxer kangaroo hop will know. We are working on the issues. They are both leaded when around other dogs and distance is kept. I have lost count of the amount of dogs that have been allowed over to bother my dogs even when I shout that one of them isn’t good with other dogs they still let theirs jump all over him. It’s infuriating.

Oh this does my fucking nut in.

I have two rescued greyhounds. One is very old, arthritic and deaf - so it frightens him to death when another dog suddenly appears out of nowhere because he can't hear them approach. Plus he's very frail and rickety and can't move that fast any more. The other is younger and more energetic but is now terrified of other dogs as a result of being badly mauled - we nearly lost her but after multiple operations and months of recovery, she pulled through. Consequently she hates being approached by other dogs when they are off-lead.

I used to be polite, through very gritted teeth and ask people to call their dogs back and go through the palaver of "oh he's friendly really" etc.

Now I am very curt. If I get told their dog is just being friendly, then I point to the huge and very noticeable scar on her leg and say "Yeah that's what the last bloke said, yet we ended up with 3 grands worth of vets bills". All said flatly and with a 1000 yard stare. Seems to do the trick

I'm really scared of dogs (due to a traumatic incident when I was small) and it really angers me when dog owners let their horrible mutts jump up all over me with the "he's just playing / just being friendly" excuse. Why should I have to put up with it, it doesn't seem fair to me. I have determined to get either a huge turansula or a massive snake (neither of which I am afraid of) and let them climb/ slither all over said dog owner, giving the "but he's just being friendly" cop out, see how they like it

We’ve got one of those yellow leads

Most people ignore it, or don’t know what it means - and when it’s explained announce that my dog shouldn’t be walked

It annoys me that it always seems to come back to me and whether he’s on a lead when he’s not the one running riot, with no recall, hassling other dogs.

We worked so hard with recall and walking to heel so he doesn’t really need a lead, although I always have one with me/put him on it around other dogs/busy places/etc

We take him to the woods, open fields and the beach etc, he loves running around, chasing his ball, swimming in lakes and the sea. He doesn’t approach other dogs, he’s not interested. He doesn’t approach people or jump on them.

He’s minding his own bloody business, yet, he’s the bad guy when he gets fed up with being hassled

One of my old dogs didn't like other dogs. She lived with one and they got on but the rest no.

She was a poodle cross so was small and fluffy.

We were walking one day and I let her off. She actively avoided other dogs and was less likely to attack if she was off her lead.

A man with a very bouncy lab let his dog run up to mine. I very firmly said "she isn't friendly. She will go for your dog"

He just laughed and said "well it might teach him some manners then"

Eevee as predicted went for the lab. It was an aggressive stance it was a fuck off or else stance. A warning before the storm.

The man blinked, grabbed his dog and left very quickly.

Sometimes as horrible as it is, some dogs need to tell the other one off especially if the others owner is refusing to listen. A lot of it is just noise.

Wasn't an aggressive stance*

No blood drawn or bite marks

I have had this on several counts - as a walker, dog owner & horse rider.

With horses, it happens ALL the time. They constantly come up to the horse, and want to sniff around their heels - some unfortunately will take it further and snap too, and quite a few bark. This is a problem on several counts - horses are a flight animal, and if sufficiently frightened, can blindly run off, becoming a danger to their rider, themselves and any public or traffic they come across. It's also dangerous to the actual dog - horses can kick out or stomp dogs (I have one who will do this if she can). And finally, if bitten, horses can be terribly injured.

I can almost guarantee that any time I take my horse somewhere that there are dog walkers, we will be accosted by at least one dog, every single time. It's honestly ruined some places for me, as I just don't feel I can go there.

One time I had a dog run up to my horses heels, and start yipping and snapping at my horse. I asked the owner to recall her dog, and got the 'he is friendly' response. To which I said that my horse wasn't and that she should therefore recall her dog or he was likely to be kicked, to which she said 'oh well, he will learn then'. So I replied that he could be killed, so she said 'well he will have learned his lesson then'. What on earth do you say to this, when someone is denying that they care, even if their dog is killed! Nowadays I wear a helmet cam, as horse riding is getting more & more risky - cars & bikes often make no allowance for us at all, and for dogs. I can't stop incidents happening, but at least I have evidence of what happens.

Fwiw, I have several large, bouncy, enthusiastic dogs myself - I love dogs. But if I have any doubts about my dogs recall, or cannot see a fair distance ahead, then I keep mine on the lead. I never allow them to approach people, horses or dogs without being assured it is fine.

www.amazon.co.uk/Approach-Personalised-Accidents-Incidents-GUARANTEE/dp/B00MNCROQ6?tag=mumsnetforum-21

What about a dog lead like this?

The owner should be able to recall the dog if the other dog, human, etc. doesn't want to be jumped on or approached. When they say, "he's just being friendly," it makes me think they can't control the animal, and when they try to recall the dog and it continues jumping/pawing/barking then I KNOW the owner doesn't have control, which is really worrying and, I think, VU.

I will admit, my dogg is an offender for this. We generally walk him in secluded areas, some days he will see another dog from afar and take no notice, others he will just bolt to say hello. Without fail I will always give chase and retrieve him, tell him off etc. Usually, we get friendly responses and he'll have a bit of a play but I will always apologize.

The other day a man lifted his small dogs off the ground by their lead/collars to get away from his awful waggy tail! He held them levitated and wiggling for a good few minutes and refused to look at me when I was apologising. In my opinion, this is the worst thing to do. If his dogs aren't wanting to be bothered I would rather the dogs told him off in 'dog language' so he understands he cannot do it and will learn some manners. But I guess owners are often worried if their dog bites they will be blamed despite being the ones that are more in control...

Before you all point it out, I know my dog shouldn't bolt! We're working on it...

If you know your dog bolts/annoys other dogs, they should be on a lead until they have perfect recall/you can control them. When I've had to protect my dog from other 'bolting dogs' it's not because I'm worried about the vets bill for the other dog, it's because my dog has been bitten multiple times and finds it (obviously) distressing!

Yeah BPenelope, you need to keep your dog on a lead, why the hell should my dog (not that he ever has) be pushed so far out of his comfort zone that he has to growl and snap at your dog because you can't control it and stop it from running up to other dogs, it's rude and putting your dog at huge risk of being attacked.

Penelope I pick my dog up to avoid the inevitable scrap when the owner is incapable of calling her dog back. Although naturally I wouldn't pick mine up by the collar, I lift her up bodily due to her spinal problems.

One woman let her two JRTs rush up to mine on a quiet path. I knew there'd be a fight and my grumpy but pain-stricken, semi-disabled dog would come off worst, so I grabbed her up and walked quickly away. Bloody woman had the cheek to ask me to stay still because she couldn't get her dogs to come back.

I hate the "He's only playing", "He won't bite" dog owners. The amount of times I've been told, and heard this. I lost a very dear and gentle dog, to a dog who, I was told by the owner wouldn't bite, he did and killed my beautiful, terrified, Cavalier. I will never forget her screams of pain. Please don't presume because your dog is loveable to you, he's the same when meeting dogs out walking. The dog in question was of a breed, who given the wrong owner, receives a very bad reputation.

I have 7 year old rescue dog, he's had his tail docked and had been to two homes (not including foster homes) when I rescued him at 6 months. I am so fed up the with these types of dog owners who are the first to make a snide comment when he doesn't like the dog approaching him. My dog is under close control and I am constantly correcting his behaviour. It's not my fault you have no control over your dog and that they have no doggy manners!

YADNBU. We need to start a movement about this brigade, they're so fucking annoying!

The other day I went to a stream with my friend and our 1 year old toddlers. They were having a lovely paddle and picnic when this extremely annoying bouncy idiot of a dog ran soaking wet all over our picnic blanket, licked the food and shook all over the kids with its stinky fur.

Dog owners (who belong to the he's friendly brigade) always think that other people are as charmed by their "fur babies" as everyone else is when in reality we think they are a fucking pain in the arse.

This happened a few times with the same dog and no amount of blank expressions got the message across to this silly owner.

The picnic went in the bin and we just left in the end.

YADNBU.

Any dog owner who says he's just playing/being friendly is a shit dog owner and shouldn't have a dog.

Seems to be about 98% of dog owners who say this, IME.

April that's awful I am sorry. I live in fear of this happening because a "friendly" dog approaches, mine snaps in fear and the larger dog retaliates and kills her. She's only 6 kg, smaller than your cavalier probably.

You knowRadioDorothy I use to enjoy walking my dogs, now I just think every dog I encounter is going to kill or injure my two remaining Cavaliers. People must think I'm mad trying to pick them up, when a dog approaches.

Our husky was bitten on the nose by a dachshund the day after I read a woman had been killed by 6!!
Dachshunds not huskies!
A sad day a little terrier chased us and my ddog wasn't happy, the man kept picking it up and carrying it off but it came back.
So he punched it in the face.
My dc were hysterical.

Fucking bastard.
And I told him so.
It really is a see saw of good /bad ddog tales (tails) these days I fear.

I forgot this when I posted earlier but DD's primary school sports day was held on a sports field in a wood (close as you get in London anyway). During welly wanging a dog appeared and ran over to the kids-luckily towards a boy used to dogs. The owner would have heard all the noise walking along the path but no he let the dog run at the kids bouncing around. One parent asked politely if it was is dog and he replied it was but he made little effort to retrieve it. Later on some dogs were running riot over where some kids had had their picnic and their bags were there. The owners couldn't get them at all. What got me was it's a sports area so balls are being thrown, people are running therefore surely put your dog on a lead around there.

YADNBU OP. That type of fucking entitled dog owner is so annoying. It’s dangerous to let their dogs behave like that. That’s owner deserved all she got from you plus a lot more. Well done.

Errghhhh I hate them too. My dog likes dogs that approach calmly and will play chase , however she does not like being mounted, pinned down or play biting. I put her on a lead now if I see anything exuberant and shout that she isn't friendly in the hope they don't let it happen.

Today a Labrador came hurtling over and harassed her till she started growling and snapping it then jumped up at me causing scratches that bled and was biting my hands (granted not in a to cause harm way), the owner just laughed "oh she is such a silly doggy" , put your fucking dog on a lead if you have no control. If I ever see a dog on a lead I put ddog on incase it's fear aggressive or anxious.

I've got a very nervous dog. Had a dog trainer helping us and we were talking about this exact issue. She advises people to shout over that their dog has kennel cough she said it works a treat every single time but you usually get a mouthful off the owner but that is when you can explain actually they don't but they hadn't listened to your warnings. Never had to use it as most owners I come across are really good and I spend an awful lot of time hiding in bushes or behind cars to avoid other dogs!