about the “he’s friendly” “he’s just playing” brigade

[Springersrock]

This pisses me off

I have a dog. He’s 10. He’s OK with other dogs - never approaches other dogs but is happy to say hello and has a few buddies that he’s happy to go on walks with, but he absolutely hates it when other dogs come running up and bounce all over him, get in his face, snap at his ears, etc, etc. He’ll put up with it for a bit but will then growl/bark at them if they persist.

I always ask dog owners to come and get their dog away from mine and 9 times out of 10 get the “but he’s just playing” “He’s just being friendly” response from them

This morning I was walking him when we were accosted by a big bouncy Labrador - bouncing about all over my dog, right in his face, trying to mount him, and generally being a massive nuisance. I shouted to the owner several times who just got quite defensive and did the usual “he’s just playing” crap while standing there like a lemon. I tried to shoo the other dog away and get between them, but it was so bloody insistent that it was impossible.

Anyway, I totally lost my rag, told the owner to get her bloody dog and if she couldn’t control it then she shouldn’t let it off the lead - just at the same time as my dog lost his rag and snapped at the other dog - didn’t bite or make any contact, just a sort of barky/fuck off snap in the general direction of the other dog.

Obviously, my dog is now the bad guy and I’m the worst owner in the world and my dog should be put to sleep.

I’m honestly so pissed off with my dog being put in this position. He doesn’t want to play, he just wants to go for a walk

We have a local dog owners FB group and this discussion comes up time and time again with the “he’s just playing” brigade clearly thinking it’s fine to let their dogs harass other dogs who are just minding their own business and I just can’t fathom it

I don’t have a dog as I don’t have the patience for all this, but... I would love for the owners to get their own back by running and jumping on the shit owners, maybe running circles around them jabbing and poking at them, just to see if it really is as sociable as they maintain.

Agreed, drives me mad too. I have a rescue lurcher - she's actually pretty good but doesn't like her personal space invaded by most strange dogs and sounds awful when she makes this known (she's normally very quiet but does a combined snap/ yelp/bark with teeth which makes her position very clear in this instance). However, the rescue border terrier is a worse problem - she has fear aggression so goes on lead as soon as we see another dog - this is fine normally. And, actually, most dogs take one look at her and decide to steer clear! But we've been blamed twice recently for bringing her to the park when another dog has attacked her - the first one a shitzu, the second a staffie - because she barked (she basically barks 'f* off to any dog she sees, just in case) - so they (off-lead) attacked. Luckily I managed to keep the staffie off her by kicking it as it was really going for her - then got verbally abused by the staffie's owner for kicking his dog (Did someone mention a go-pro - does this work and is it easy to wear?)

@springersrock

YANBU.

I get pissed off with this too. But I don't have a dog, so for me, it's when people with a dog let it off the lead all the time, and let it run at you, jump up you, sniff around you, and growl and bark at you, with cries of 'he won't hurt you!' and 'he's only playing...'

No-one should allow their dog off its lead in a public place. NO-ONE. Because the vast majority of people I have encountered, do not have full control of their dog(s.)

I feel like I need to say NACOALT.

Not all chihuahua owners...

Mine has almost perfect recall, walks beautifully on the lead (unless another dog approaches in which case she’s a snarling demon), walks to heel off lead and doesn’t approach anyone, doesn’t jump up etc.

This thread was made for me. We have two huge rescue dogs, who for the first 4 years of their life were not walked, socialised, groomed etc.
It has been a very long slow journey, building up their confidence & training them, but there are still awful with other dogs. So much so, we get up at 7 in the morning to walk them, to avoid as many dogs as we can.
I have lost count the number of times that unleashed dogs have run up to our dogs (who are always on the lead, when other dogs are around) Our dogs go absolutely ape shit crazy & I scream to the other dogs owner 'Can you call your dog back please' as we struggle to restrain our dogs, to which the almost all universally say 'Its fine, my dog is really friendly'
I reply 'well ours are not & you should never let an unleashed dog run up to a dog on a lead!!'
This is usually followed by a moan & grumble as they have to come up & physically remove the dog, because it is completely untrained & wont go back to the owner when called.
The owner usually finishes off with a nasty comment like 'if your dogs are that aggressive, then they shouldn't be allowed out!!'
Why should my dogs not be taken on a walk, simply because you cannot be bothered to train your dog!!
Oh it makes my blood boil

I've posted about this before - My girl is no light weight and I've had to bodily pick her up when owners won't call their dogs away. Worst one was when 4 surrounded her! Owner looked at me like I was nuts when I expressed my annoyance to her. I know my dogs tolerance threshold and have trained her for good recall and to not get too far ahead. Plus I pop her lead on as soon as we sight another dog. It's a system that's worked for us for 12yrs.

OP I could have written your post!

Our dog was semi docked at birth and the vet thinks she was done badly because she has a fear of people being round her tail. She detests other dogs coming up to her sniffing her bottom so goes for them. Like yours would never hurt but just a warning snarl.

Other owners are so inept it’s untrue. Just fuck off!

I don’t want my dogs to play with yours. I have my own pack of 3, I don’t need them to socialise. I want them left alone cos I train when we’re out, the naughty one needs it otherwise he tends to piss off hunting. I’m sick of saying that other owners need to keep their untrained mutts away from mine. Mine are extremely well-trained, obedient, don’t leave my side (unless they see a deer!) and don’t harass other dogs. Stupid bouncy mutts can stay away from mine.

This is why I think puppy groups are a terrible idea, they allow dogs to grow up thinking it’s fine to approach all other dogs and play. It really isn’t.

This does my head in. Yes I KNOW he's just playing and I can SEE he's friendly, I'm not stupid. Mine isn't! Mine is friendly right up until he isn't and goes for the throat. Did the muzzle not tip you off?!

My dog IS friendly and DOES want to play - but I understand that not all dogs do (so should he after he nearly got his face ripped off by an Akita!).

I keep him on his lead as his recall is shit and I take the lead from other dog walkers as we pass. If they slow down and their dog approach mine I'll obviously let him say hello to the other dog. If they keep their dog close to them and show no intentions of slowing down I assume there is a reason for it and keep my dog away.

OP- I always remember the story of the nice gentle and well behaved Great Dane who met a chihuahua and pounced and bit its head off. I assume he thought it was a rat.
Maybe you should tell that story to your neighbour!

It's lazy ownership. If another person has made it clear they aren't happy with your dog's behaviour around them or their dog why wouldn't you try to fix that?! 'He's just being friendly' is code for 'I am a weak owner, Please don't ask me to try and assert authority over my own dog because I know I can't' in my experience.

Really winds me up. I have just returned from lunch where a dog took food off my plate. When I shouted the owner turned round and said to me 'oh gosh I am sorry. Let me know if he does it again, if you're not careful he'll have the lot!' And then gave that stupid tinkly laugh that a lot of these types do to try and diffuse the situation. The situation was not diffused.

Also you could try a yellow lead which signifies stay away from my dog. As someone who is quite scared of strange dogs because I am never sure which ones are running toward me because they want to play and which ones are coming in for the kill this is quite good to know (of course the ones running toward me precisely are not on any kind of lead but such is life).

I don't have a dog but these people annoy me. DD doesn't like dogs as she had these sort of dogs run up to her as a toddler. Not every dog or person likes dogs so these people need to train them properly. I think these are the people who don't clear up after their dogs.
I read about a 4 month old dog killed yesterday by an off lead dog. Awful.

YANBU

Our rescue is 3. She’s a friendly, slightly bouncy, gentle girl but she likes her personal space. She doesn’t mind people stroking her when we’re on walks, she adores children and she likes to have a sniff at other well behaved dogs but she HATES being jumped all over by dogs that aren’t on leads. And I can’t blame her. So many times I’ve had to shout to get the other owner to remove their dog from mine. 99% of the time they can’t by calling them back and have to physically remove them which is just plain wrong. If you have to do that, they shouldn’t be off the lead.

Yet, if my dog gets pissed off and sounds off a warning, it’s mine that’s aggressive. It boils my piss.

This is equally bad when dogs jump up all over people, especially young children. It can be terrifying.

I regularly do wildlife walks in an area which is popular with dog walkers. I've lost count the number of times I've had an out-of-control dog jump up while I've been standing looking through my binoculars or using my camera. I've been knocked over a couple of times - once two boxer dogs actually pushed me in the river and all the owner said was "Don't kick my dogs!"

Fortunately, the local bailiff is keen on wildlife and for the last two months there has been a "Dogs must be kept on a lead" sign to protect breeding birds

I don't usually read these threads because I get so angry. My small terrier is 11, very nervous, and on permanent medication for chronic spinal pain after surgery. She has been attacked multiple times, as a puppy and an adult. I keep her on a lead with a bright red slip-cover that says "STAY AWAY", and I do my utmost to avoid passing other dogs at all, let alone get close to an off-lead one. I'll change direction, hide, anything to get away. I don't generally walk where other dogs are able to enjoy being off-lead.

If an off-lead dog does happen to approach she'll bark viciously, and if they get as near as 2 feet away she'll lunge and bite as she believes she will be attacked. If it's a small dog it will get hurt, if it's a big dog it may retaliate and then she gets hurt.

Two cavalier spaniels approached her the other day even though I was busting a gut to steer clear of them by hugging the periphery, they just kept coming. They had the whole pissing field but the owner was so thick and couldn't call them back. Eventually one of them got a bite to the face for his trouble. Same with the cute little lapdog who wanted to play, I warned and warned the owner and desperately moved away but he was so slow I had to pick my dog up so his dog didn't get hurt. I'M TRYING TO AVOID YOU, why can't you see?

Just fuck off, all I want to do is walk my dog and let her have some peace. We're stuck with the pavements because people are too fucking ignorant to call their dog away or clip it on for 30 seconds.

This is why we no longer walk our lovely but anxious dog where there will be other dogs. We're very rural so it's not a problem here, but I feel sad for him that his life experiences are restricted due to stupid owners. He's been attacked multiple times (he's always on his lead) by 'friendly' dogs, so he's now really scared and reacts vocally/snaps.

@gigis

It's lazy ownership. If another person has made it clear they aren't happy with your dog's behaviour around them or their dog why wouldn't you try to fix that?! 'He's just being friendly' is code for 'I am a weak owner.

This - in spades. ^

I really fucking hate this. My dc are nervous around strange dogs and if one more arsehole laughs and says "don't worry they are friendly" I swear It takes so much restraint to to strangle them with their poo sacs.

My DD is terrified of dogs. Absolutely terrified.

We're working really hard on this and it fucks me right off with the 'he's just playing/won't touch you shit.

How the fuck do we know that when your massive labrador is bouncing towards my 4 year old who is now screaming?! Had a massive row with someone in a campsite the other week about this.

The dog owning ranger came over to the won't-touch-you-wanker and tore a strip off him. Told him to look at the site rules and get his dog on a lead. Then gave DD a bag of sweets for being brave.

This annoys me to, generally I find small dog owners think because their dog is small it's okay - in fact I find this worse as they jump and scrabble at the children. We have a husky, she is very friendly but also a pest and would run straight over to other dogs and be ignorant to return to me hence why she is on a lead. She gets really upset and hides when other dogs come (quite often 2 or 3 in a group) and surround her I guess because she is on a lead and can't get away, it must be intimidating! Frustrates me so much when the owners then don't have the control to call them away successfully or stop it in the first place!

We have an 'I need space's lead cover from Yellow Dog. They do various products including tabards for owners.
My dog is old and just doesn't want to be bothered with other dogs. When we see another dog I shorten his long lead, place myself between him and other dog if possible and point to him and say 'Grumpy dog's. Nine times out of ten it works, but you still get the 'He just wants to be friendly' types who don't remove their dog.
As someone else said, if he then snaps the other owner thinks we are in the wrong.

I hate this.

We have a young beagle pup. He's bouncy so he's walked on a harness and training lead precisely so that he can't run up to people and annoy them.

The other week we were at the beach and some muppet came up with two terrier things, not on lead and they both bounded over to ours. Now the beagle is friendly so he had a sniff and all of a sudden this terrier went to bite his neck. I was bloody furious. The guy had no leads with him so couldn't do anything to get them under control apart from yell. The dogs ignored him completely and carried on being stupid and eventually ran off after him.

I don't blame the dogs - they should have been on lead and under control. It's entirely the owners fault and apparently it's not the first time his dogs have gone for others.

I honestly never knew it wasn't a given to put your dog back on the lead when approaching a dog on the lead until we got our own three years ago. We have a very small Working Cocker Spaniel, probably the least bouncy and excitable spaniel you could imagine, all she wants to do is sniff through the woods, she has practically no interest in other dogs and is naturally VERY submissive. I've lost count of the amount of times she's been batted to the floor, rolled over and generally rough housed by "friendly dogs" whose owners seem to think that because of her breed she is just as up for playing as they are. You were well in the right here OP, I have no patience with lazy dog owners now, if your dog hurts mine or won't leave her alone despite my asking, you can bet I'm going to get angry with you.