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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think adults sharing rooms with their grown children is odd?

89 replies

Gravitatewhere12 · 01/08/2018 22:54

My colleague booked a holiday today for her, her husband and their 32 year old daughter. She was annoyed because the hotel she wanted didn’t have any rooms for three adults. It turns out the three of them always share a room. They always go on expensive, long haul holidays, seem to go business class (said just to demonstrate that they don’t share the room because they can afford nothing else).

My friend’s boyfriend goes away with his parents every year and they share a room too. She’s been invited but declined, largely because they were expecting her to share the room with them too.

AIBU to think it’s really odd for grown adults to be sharing rooms with their parents on holiday?

OP posts:

DiegoMadonna · 02/08/2018 01:42

Yeah, it's just somewhere to sleep usually. So why waste money on two rooms if you can get just one? I think the British are more private (even with their own family members) than people from a lot of other countries, so I guess that's why a lot of people on here think it's weird.

To me it's no big deal. Sharing a bedroom and bathroom with your kids (no matter what the age) for a few days, so what? They're my kids!

EmmaGrundyForPM · 02/08/2018 01:45

I went abroad with my mum for 4 nights last year and we shared a room to save money. It was fine.

DH and DS (aged 21) went to the States for a week.last year to visit Dh's parents and shared a hotel room to save money. I went away in the UK with ds this year and he insisted on separate rooms as he wasn't happy to share with me. Which was fine.

I certainly wouldn't want ds in the same room as us though on a 2 week holiday. That would feel weird.

BackToTheFuschia7 · 02/08/2018 01:48

Wouldn’t bother me. You’re out and about in the day and usually only go to the room to sleep.

littleFearOfHumans · 02/08/2018 01:50

I wouldn't like it but don't think it's odd. Each to their own, eh?

Maybe they couldn't afford business flights and long haul and 2 rooms.

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 02/08/2018 01:57

OkPedro Why would you NOT want to have sex with your DH while in a 2 week holiday?

If we want a romantic sex-having holiday we go away alone. When we go away and share with other people it's not a romantic sex-having holiday. It's sightseeing and eating out and fun excursions and just enjoying each other's company.

Also, now don't tell anyone, but we don't always wait until we're on holiday to have sex - we sometimes have it at home! I know - aren't we terrible?

FarFlungFairy · 02/08/2018 01:59

Different families are comfortable with different arrangements, it’s a bit shit to judge and call people ‘odd’ because they do something different to you.

Copperbonnet · 02/08/2018 01:59

I don’t think that it’s particularly odd to share as a money saving effort.

I think it’s weird to share if you also could afford business class flights. Why wouldn’t you just have two adjoining rooms?

I traveled abroad to a wedding recently with my parents. I’m pretty sure they’d have been horrified at the suggestion we share a room.

OkPedro · 02/08/2018 02:02

mydirtylittlesecret
My dc are 9 and 6, I'll take any opportunity for uninterrupted sex!

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 02/08/2018 02:27

OkPedro Yeah, with dc that young you're pretty much screwed - or rather, not screwed.

If it helps, things should start to improve in around another 10 years or so and it's true what they say, it really is like riding a bike, you don't forget how to do it!

TeeniefaeTroon · 02/08/2018 05:45

My sister and I shared a room with my parents after we went to see a show together. It was cheaper.

We had a great laugh after a few drinks, felt like we were the Waltons. "Goodnight John Boy" "Goodnight Mary Ellen" 😂😂
We are 41 and 46 😁

WonderfulWonders · 02/08/2018 06:04

To the PP who didn't share with DC after they were 12 - really?

Yup really

My eldest two are a year apart so it was easier to put them in separate rooms. Plus holidays for me are about relaxing. We all have our own bedrooms and bathrooms at home so i want a similar set up when I'm away.

HRTpatch · 02/08/2018 06:21

Same here wonderful.
Even on trips with friends I don't share a room. I like my own bathroom and space. Never done a family room either.

Oysterbabe · 02/08/2018 06:45

I wouldn't do it unless I had to.

JellyBears · 02/08/2018 06:47

I’m in my thirty’s and I go away with my mum and we share a room.

Whatsnewwithyou · 02/08/2018 06:51

I share with my dad to save money - sometimes we even sleep in the same bed when there's no choice.

We have also shares a room (though not a bed) with my DH as well. DH finds it weird...but not weird enough to shell out for an extra room for me and him!

QuitMoaning · 02/08/2018 07:01

I go away with my dad every year and we normally share a room but never a bed. I would find that wrong.

I would never want to be sharing with a couple (eg my dad and his wife) nor would I want another adult to be in same room as me and my partner.

WhiteCat1704 · 02/08/2018 07:02

I find it very wierd. I wouldn't share with my parents if you payed me...
Also even toddler DS gets his own room as we all sleep much much better

hendricksy · 02/08/2018 07:02

I don't even want to share a room with my young children , the rooms are just too small to be on top of each other , plus we all have our own bathrooms at home so want at least two when we are away .
If it works for the then why not ?

bimbobaggins · 02/08/2018 07:05

We did this when we were late teens with my dad, hated it .

NerrSnerr · 02/08/2018 07:07

I used to hate sharing with my mum as a teen. I was the youngest of three children so always had to share with someone and I really hated it, I needed space. Now I'm in my 30s I won't share with anyone apart from my husband and preschool children, I'm not sure how old they'll be when we insist on their own room on holiday!

madeyemoodysmum · 02/08/2018 07:08

How do you know it's not about the money. Just because YOU think they can Afford it doesn't mean they can afford or want to spend the extra.

They could be tight fisted or genuinely can't come up with the extra cash

longwayoff · 02/08/2018 07:12

No I don't think it remotely odd, 2 or 3 low cost nights away with your family. Are you feeling ok?

ApolloandDaphne · 02/08/2018 07:13

My DH and I have often shared rooms on holiday with our adult DDs, mostly when we go to America. They get to choose between 2 rooms in cheap hotels or share a room in plush hotels. They like a bit of luxury so always choose to share. Now DD1 has a partner so they have a room to themselves if we travel together. DD1 (20) still happily shares with us sometimes. I like sharing with them. It's lots of fun.

Watda · 02/08/2018 07:17

I’d definitely draw the line at sharing a room with my DP and his parents. However, I’m happy to share with my DM.

Haberpop · 02/08/2018 07:18

My daughter gets married next week, the night before the wedding we are spending the night together at the venue she is getting married at. This is a one off, usually when I travel with one of the (grown up) kids we have our own rooms.

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