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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think adults sharing rooms with their grown children is odd?

89 replies

Gravitatewhere12 · 01/08/2018 22:54

My colleague booked a holiday today for her, her husband and their 32 year old daughter. She was annoyed because the hotel she wanted didn’t have any rooms for three adults. It turns out the three of them always share a room. They always go on expensive, long haul holidays, seem to go business class (said just to demonstrate that they don’t share the room because they can afford nothing else).

My friend’s boyfriend goes away with his parents every year and they share a room too. She’s been invited but declined, largely because they were expecting her to share the room with them too.

AIBU to think it’s really odd for grown adults to be sharing rooms with their parents on holiday?

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 01/08/2018 23:47

I see nothing odd in it as long as the room is set up so that there is some privacy.

DS2 (adult) and I shared a room last year when we went to Disneyland (CA). At $600+ per night 2 rooms just wasn't in the budget!

But the rooms are set up with a separate (and roomy) shower area with a locking door so there was no problem in each of us having privacy for showering, dressing, etc.

MiggledyHiggins · 01/08/2018 23:52

No way. I'd share with my mum or sis on a girlie holiday, I've shared with my brother in a twin room when we were getting a flight at something like 5am and got a room close to the airport.

But travelling as a couple, we will have our own room thanks!

An aunt I no longer holiday with is great for dictating to everyone who should sleep where and share with whom. Always split up by sex as well. Just because you've no interest in getting the ride on holiday doesn't mean that the rest of us feel the same!

LellyMcKelly · 01/08/2018 23:53

It wouldn’t phase me for a night or two, but if it was for 2 weeks I’d want a separate room...in a separate house...in a separate country!

famousfour · 01/08/2018 23:53

Not weird no. Except for the one about sharing with partners parents. Would draw a line there. Especially travelling as three you can probably get one really nice big room as opposed to two small ones. Wouldn't share with my dad though - his snoring is hideous!

Dayas · 01/08/2018 23:54

Yep its weird. I'd share with my mum no problem but not with my dad (he snores) but no way both of them together.

Plus...if I'm going on a nice holiday in a fancy holiday with DH I don't want to share with my parents I WANT TO HAVE SEX. And I'm assuming my parents would want to as well.

Dayas · 01/08/2018 23:54

Fancy hotel*

DiegoMadonna · 01/08/2018 23:57

It's cheaper and if they don't have an issue doing it then why not?

LockedOutOfMN · 02/08/2018 00:02

I share with my mum and also with mum and dad if it's just the 3 of us travelling; I much prefer that to having a room by myself (lonely).

pieceofpurplesky · 02/08/2018 00:03

But there is no partner going for those saying it's weird ... it's just the daughter and her parents. I don't find it strange at all. To the PP who didn't share with DC after they were 12 - really? Currently sharing with DS (14) in holiday. Would have no qualms sharing with parents at all.

NorthernSpirit · 02/08/2018 00:04

Seriously weird. Why would 3 grown adults share a room????? Must be lovely watching each other get dressed / undressed. Serious boundary issues.

Original poster
Gravitatewhere12 · 02/08/2018 00:07

Plus...if I'm going on a nice holiday in a fancy holiday with DH I don't want to share with my parents I WANT TO HAVE SEX. And I'm assuming my parents would want to as well.

I’ve wondered about this with my colleague although obviously I’d never ask her. Surely when you’re away for two weeks in a beautiful country in a lovely hotel you might want a bit of romantic time without your grown daughter in the room?

OP posts:
Myimaginarycathasfleas · 02/08/2018 00:15

Not odd for members of the same family to share, very odd to expect a non family member to do so. Me and my two adult DC (DD and DS) shared a room on a trip to London recently. We all had our own beds, can’t see the problem.

Grrrrinch · 02/08/2018 00:17

This is getting a bit weird now.

After 25 years together, husband and I can manage to keep our hands off each other and not have sex for 2 WHOLE WEEKS whilst dc is in the room...

We go there for sun, family time, food, culture, beaches etc.
Having a shag is not our priority.

Spending time with our much loved, fab company DC is.

Privacy is not a problem either, club lounge it is when someone wants to get ready in peace.

Some of you of giving me the creeps by insinuating that it's odd and a bit sordid.

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 02/08/2018 00:26

This is a very weird conversation !
Surely, we have our kids in our room on holiday because we have to. It’s cheaper and often we can’t leave our kids in a room on their own.
To have grown ups staying in the same room..............
Erm no

beavertown · 02/08/2018 00:45

It is a very common thing in the USA, there many rooms have 2 double beds

Figlessfig · 02/08/2018 00:53

Last time I shared a room on holiday with a DC, said child was 15 months old, and prone to waking in the night.

Sharing a room with an adult DC is downright weird.

ferrier · 02/08/2018 00:57

So you wouldn't share a pod when camping either? And yes to the US. Every hotel I've stayed in has two queen sized beds.

ElementalHalfLife · 02/08/2018 01:01

We share with friends on road trips, we share with DS when he visits and goes traveling with us. It cuts costs. All we're doing in there is sleeping. Average hotel room in NY where we're going with DS in a couple of months is $200 per night, by sharing we save close to $1000. No boundary issues, little known fact, but some hotel rooms these days have these newfangled ensuite bathrooms so we can go in there to get dressed and undressed!
Get your mind out of the creepy gutter and grow up.

HollaHolla · 02/08/2018 01:17

I’m 42 and still sometimes share for an odd night with my parents. I get the small bed for children!! Often Campanile/Ibis do that type of room, which is ideal for when you’re stopping en route somewhere.

MrsEricBana · 02/08/2018 01:17

I think not weird. 2 rooms in a long haul holiday place would massively bump up the cost and maybe they prefer to avoid that and spend the money saved on eating out etc. On our hol recently everyone with one dc seemed to have 3 in a room even if the dc was adult (20s prob not 30s).

Grilledaubergines · 02/08/2018 01:18

Seriously weird. Why would 3 grown adults share a room????? Must be lovely watching each other get dressed / undressed. Serious boundary issues.

Why would you think they watch each other dressing for goodness sake? I’m fairly positive dressing/undressing takes place in the bathroom.

Can’t see any boundaries being crossed.

OkPedro · 02/08/2018 01:26

Why would you NOT want to have sex with your dh while on a 2 week holiday?
Surely its your holiday as well as your adult children's holiday?

ittakes2 · 02/08/2018 01:28

Its not my thing but it is massively cheaper to get only one room rather than 2 in 4-5 star resorts. Being able to afford business class is not the point - they prob prefer to put their cash towards business class and save on room costs.

BigLass9 · 02/08/2018 01:32

It wouldn't bother me I don't think. If it was the only way we could afford it or somebody didn't want to be in own room then I would share. No big deal.

esk1mo · 02/08/2018 01:39

i’ve worked in several hotels and its really common. i’ve never thought it was weird tbh, and no one i worked with ever commented on it. people dont spend that much time in their rooms. they watch a bit of tv at night, get up at 8am for breakfast and go out all day.

i think its quite sweet actually. i’d love to have the chanche to go away with my mum, id happily share a twin room with her.