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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think adults sharing rooms with their grown children is odd?

89 replies

Gravitatewhere12 · 01/08/2018 22:54

My colleague booked a holiday today for her, her husband and their 32 year old daughter. She was annoyed because the hotel she wanted didn’t have any rooms for three adults. It turns out the three of them always share a room. They always go on expensive, long haul holidays, seem to go business class (said just to demonstrate that they don’t share the room because they can afford nothing else).

My friend’s boyfriend goes away with his parents every year and they share a room too. She’s been invited but declined, largely because they were expecting her to share the room with them too.

AIBU to think it’s really odd for grown adults to be sharing rooms with their parents on holiday?

OP posts:

BillywigSting · 01/08/2018 23:01

I think if I was going away with just my mum (which I would be happy to do, we have a lovely relationship) I wouldn't be put out sharing a room but if I was going away with her and my ds and /or dp I would expect to share with them.

Likewise if my parents were still together and we went somewhere as a family I'd expect them to share and to have my own room (I'd also be willing to pay this)

A few years ago my nana on my dad's side died and myself, my dad and my mum all travelled to her country for her funeral.

We stayed at my grandads house and I shared with my mum and my dad shared with his brother because they were divorced at that point and it was a matter of space.

So I think in short, if travelling with still married parents and money/space isn't an issue then yes it is a bit strange but there are circumstances where it becomes perfectly reasonable.

Storm4star · 01/08/2018 23:02

We have done it to save on cost but if I could afford separate rooms, or we rent an apartment and there’s a sofa bed in the living room, then no we wouldn’t share. My son snores like a demon so I try to avoid sharing with him whenever possible!

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 01/08/2018 23:02

I have with my dad was only me and him staying with family abroad and then in a hotel we shared a room

I wouldn’t with my dad and his wife though (she isn’t my mum)

Don’t think it’s that odd on holiday

KC225 · 01/08/2018 23:04

I have never heard of that. Does your colleagues daughter have any additional needs? Does she need help in the morning or evening? Seems really odd.

The boyfriend who expects his girlfriend to share a room with his parents needs kicking to the kerb. In would assume he is too weak to end it and is suggesting the room share so she will dump him.

thenightsky · 01/08/2018 23:05

It works out better value. 25 year old DS often comes with me and DH and normally has a pull out sofa bed in our room. We are only there to sleep so I don't see the issue.

Original poster

Gravitatewhere12 · 01/08/2018 23:05

I don’t think it’s odd when travelling with one parent, but it must be so crowded with three of them all sharing such a small space with no privacy.

OP posts:

DramaAlpaca · 01/08/2018 23:06

It depends. If DH goes away with one of our adult sons they share a hotel room as they don't mind. If I go away with one of the boys we book separate rooms. If I went away with my mother we'd have separate rooms, we'd want to kill each other if we shared.

claraschu · 01/08/2018 23:06

We often share with our grown kids. It is fine. Obviously parents aren't having sex in the room with their children. What's the problem; why is it odd?

CherryPavlova · 01/08/2018 23:06

We’ve shared with young adult children in a suite with sofa bed or mezzanine. My (single) sister has been away with our mother and shared.
Each to their own arrangements, I guess.

SunflowerJo08 · 01/08/2018 23:06

I think if it essential due to space then yes, but really it just seems like penny pinching. I could put up with my mum but my dad's snoring is horrendous.

That said, if I had to share a room for whatever reason with my 89 year old granny, I'd find this comforting!

I definitely would not want to sleep in the same room as my partner's parents, with my partner. That's just mega odd!

Original poster

Gravitatewhere12 · 01/08/2018 23:08

I have never heard of that. Does your colleagues daughter have any additional needs? Does she need help in the morning or evening? Seems really odd.

No, daughter is a partner in a law firm. Really clever, really nice, absolutely loaded, pays for most of the holidays too. She still lives at home in her parents’ two bedroom although every few months goes and views £1million+ homes.

OP posts:

FissionChips · 01/08/2018 23:10

YANBU, it’s werid.

Godotsarrived · 01/08/2018 23:14

Very odd. I’d hate it

ferrier · 01/08/2018 23:16

It's that or get two rooms for double the cost.

Johnnyfinland · 01/08/2018 23:17

I wouldn’t share with both my parents out of choice mainly because my dad snores like a warthog but my mum sometimes visits me alone and my flat is so small she has to sleep in bed with me. We have a close relationship so it feels like having a sleepover with a friend as we end up staying up chatting but I would give her a room to herself if I had one!

JumblieGirl · 01/08/2018 23:17

I’ve shared a room with adult DS when youth hosteling or staying in cheap hotels. Penny pinching it may be, but it’s cheap and easy. Plus he doesn’t snore.We’ve shared a tent at festivals a lot too.
English people are weird about that sort of thing though.

Johnnyfinland · 01/08/2018 23:19

To add, I don’t think it’s weird, no, although asking non-family members like the son’s girlfriend to share as well is weird. I doubt they’re all spooning in the bed, THAT would be weird

Emmageddon · 01/08/2018 23:21

It's not weird if it's to save money. It is weird if adult kids insist on sharing with mum and dad because they want to and don't need to.

WonderfulWonders · 01/08/2018 23:23

Very odd.

I stopped sharing with my DCs once they got to 12. It's the bathrooms more than the actual room!

Grrrrinch · 01/08/2018 23:32

Agree with ferrier

Adult (19) DC shares with us.

We go long haul 3-4 times per year and it's definitely a cost thing for us, we pay for DC full holiday cost, meals, excursions and spending money as they're at uni. Holiday cost would double for an extra room.

Space isn't an issue, rooms are massive in USA, UAE, we had beach villa in Maldives and a bungalow in Cuba.

If they want their own room, they can pay themselves!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 01/08/2018 23:32

My parents were these people! I hated teenage holidays as, being the only girl, I was expected to share with my parents while my brothers had their own room. It'd have continued indefinitely if I'd not been quite clear I didn't feel comfortable.

GabsAlot · 01/08/2018 23:37

i stayed with my parents when i was 19-in fairness they were paying for everything although it was croweded

Rebecca36 · 01/08/2018 23:43

It may seem strange to some but there are such things as 'Family Rooms' where children have a bed in an alcove or behind a curtain. I stayed in such.

Clairetree1 · 01/08/2018 23:45

it slashes the cost

and mostly we camp, so share a VERY small space

Petalflowers · 01/08/2018 23:46

For one or two nights, I wouldn’t think it was weird. For longer, maybe.

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