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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think friend should tidy up?

105 replies

sunrainandemmerdale · 01/08/2018 19:30

I live a few minutes from city centre and I was away last weekend.
My friend was going to town for some drinks with her boyfriend and the hotel was going to be over £100.
I offered her to stay at my house and said she could stay in the spare room.
Got back on Monday and the place was a mess.
She filled my kitchen sink full of water and left the dishes in (all dirty and water nearly over the top)
My sofa had all the throws off and thrown on the floor.
My kitchen table had all the ornaments /flowers/candles thrown all over the floor.
One curtain was open and One was closed.
My bedroom (not spare room) there was no sheets on my bed and quilt cover was off.
They were in my washer (not switched on) and glasses and 2 cans of lager were left on my dressing table .
So angry

OP posts:
Crystalblue13 · 01/08/2018 20:10

That is disgusting! I would have to say something and I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that anymore

ny20005 · 01/08/2018 20:14

Wow ! Not much of a friend

sunrainandemmerdale · 01/08/2018 20:15

Never again ..she gets that drunk she could burn the place down.
Silly me,as soon as I offered her to stay I knew I shouldn't have.

OP posts:
InfiniteVariety · 01/08/2018 20:15

It's very disrespectful to sleep in your bed when you had expressly said she could stay in the spare room. This invasion of private space alone would give me the rage, but along with all the rest of the mess, I would not be able to say nothing

Jjjjigoo · 01/08/2018 20:17

I don't think i could stay friends with someone who disrespected me like that.

pippety · 01/08/2018 20:17

I couldn’t stay friends with someone like that OP - she has shown you a ridiculous lack of respect and personally I’d tell her where to go. Presumably this wasn’t totally out of character?

Inertia · 01/08/2018 20:18

Completely disrespectful- I would find it difficult to remain friends with someone who behaved like this.

chipsandgin · 01/08/2018 20:18

Nope, not a friend - whenever I stay at any friends houses in their absence I leave it cleaner, tidier and with flowers/wine and a thank you card! That is seriously revolting and she clearly has no respect for you and no shame - you should say something (an email along the lines of your OP saying it upset you, although I quite like shockers one liner), I would!

Creatureofthenight · 01/08/2018 20:21

Dirty ungrateful pisstaker. I know you said you don’t like confrontation but she needs to know that this is unacceptable.

Rebecca36 · 01/08/2018 20:28

That was definitely bad! Extremely inconsiderate. Was she drunk? I can't think of any other explanation and it's still not an excuse.

Don't be so quick to offer her a bed for the night in future!

disappearingninepatch · 01/08/2018 20:28

Shocker's reply and next time, invite chipsandgin to stay instead.

DickTERFin · 01/08/2018 20:30

Call her on it, but be prepared for her to throw a shit fit. I speak from experience. People who feel entitled to treat others stuff in that way, usually also feel entitled to not get called on their crap.

I once let an ex flatmate use my room for the weekend because I was going to be away and she had friends staying. I asked that she changed the bedding for when I got back and showed her where my spare set was.

On return, not only had she not changed the bedding, which by the way was covered in blood and cum stains, she had put a couple of candles on my tv without a stand and one had melted through the top and the other had dripped down onto the screen. She had broken and ornament and spilled food all over the carpet and used my towel to try and mop it up.

She wasn't there when I got back and didn't turn up for a couple of days but when she did, I went ape shit at her. Rather than apologising and offering to pay for the damage, she had a hysterical meltdown and accused me of deliberately ruining her holiday Hmm and trying to come between her and her boyfriend. Double Hmm.

She was a) a disgustingly dirty cowbag (don't ask me what I found when I had to clear her room after she did a midnight flit without paying rent) and b) utterly, utterly selfish and didn't care one jot about the upset she caused me, not just by the destruction of my stuff but also the breach of trust. If your friend is even a bit like her, be prepared for this to be the end of your friendship which will be a blessing even if it doesn't feel like it at first.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 01/08/2018 20:30

Dirty minger! And not much of a bloody friend.

IceCreamFace · 01/08/2018 20:39

YANBU. I wouldn't leave a room in that state if I'd paid to be there let alone a friend's place I was staying in as a favour!

Whereismumhiding2 · 01/08/2018 20:46

Shock what a horrible person she is OP. That is minging. Never ever do her any favour again, she's a dirty entitled CF. I would have the rage too about her sleeping and more in my bed when I'd said spare bed. And leaves their own washing up and mess around.

I would text her the reply PP put earlier.

LoveInTokyo · 01/08/2018 20:47

Totally unacceptable. She should have left your home in the condition she found it in, ideally with a bottle of wine or something to say thank you.

Leeds2 · 01/08/2018 20:47

Well, she wouldn't be staying in my home ever again. And odds on that she will ask if she can!
I do actually think you should call her out on it. Although I have to say that I know I probably wouldn't.

BlueBug45 · 01/08/2018 20:50

OP hope you took pics. See if she apologises and ensure other people know that she has an issue cleaning and tidying up after herself. They can then decide from themselves if they ever want her as a house guest as you clearly won't.

CandleWithHair · 01/08/2018 20:53

@sunrainandemmerdale from your replies it doesn’t sound like you’re going to say anything to your friend? You really should, even if you’re not going to let her stay again she needs to understand how disrespectful she’s been

KC225 · 01/08/2018 20:53

I would call her out on it. Also like shockers response. Without being sexist, could she have possibly left earlier and the boyfriend left the place like that?

Did she leave you any flowers? A bottle of something by way of a thank you.

PositivelyPERF · 01/08/2018 20:55

That’s so vile, especially the spitting in the sink, that I’d actually suspect it was deliberate. The comment about tidying up, sounds sarcastic and challenging.

PatheticNurse · 01/08/2018 20:57

First thing I thought was had you been burgled... and did you take photo's

LeftRightCentre · 01/08/2018 21:05

Dirty mare! But if you won't tell her she'll continue finding this acceptable. You say you won't let her stay again, but I'll bet she'll ask!

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 01/08/2018 21:05

Boak!

How clean is her oen house?

Lynne1Cat · 01/08/2018 21:08

If that were me, she'd be my EX friend by now

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