Am I overly precious?

[Nubbin]

Dd - bridesmaid next weekend with Dn for a mutual relative - bride picked dresses - we paid. Not my taste but fine. I told sil we had got some ballet pumps for dd to go with it asked if she wanted some for dn - said no would do own thing. Now sil has convinced mil that both will wear same shoes with a 1.5 inch heel and ankle strap. Dd hasn't worn heels before - I think it is unnecessary and she is only 7 so not awesome for dancing and playing post wedding - basically will be useless. Dn little older and used to heels.

I just said wear different shoes - they will still have the same dress and look fine - apparently I am massively overly precious. Really not sure if Iabu or not!

I'm with you, if you have to pay for them then say no. If she's paying you could compromise and have her wear them for the wedding and swap into the flats after?

Surely she can change shoes in time for the dancing side of things?

I'd let them buy them for the photos and take your own ballet style ones to change into.

Is SIL the bride? If not, then why is it any of her business what shoes your DD wears?

Shoes aside, it’s beyond me how any couple getting married would not pay for the bridesmaids’ dresses.

I’m not overly precious about clothes but hate to see young girls in heels. I would just refuse.

Why the hell do children need heels?

Why are you the precious one?

Of course a 7 year old child shouldn't be forced to wear heels. Why don't they just bind her feet while they're at it.

Won’t really hurt her to wear them to the ceremony/photos then change into the flats for later. She can have a little practice in the wedding shoes before the day.

I don't like young girls to wear heels, but 1.5" isn't really a high heel, it's barely a rise. Is it a think heel that she would be able to manage for the ceremony and pictures? After that she can change into her ballet flats.

Fuck all to do with SIL

YANBU

No way would my 7 year old be wearing heels, end of discussion.

Sil not bride - we are the closer family connection. Bride has made no demands apart from the dress. Shoes are £30 - for me to pay. She could wear them for the ceremony- tonight she looked like bambi on ice I may be underestimating the heel. She would get used by the time of the wedding so she wouldn't look silly - I guess I am just questioning if she should get used - she is 7. I only had 1 bm when I got married - is matchy matchy needed? Dd won't feel odd if I say no.

I would not be happy about 7yo wearing heels.

No way would my dd be wearing heels. What does the bride say?

I wouldn't put my 7 yo in heels!

7 year old in a 10.5 inch heel is not a small heel for them.

I'd not let her wear them.

I would not do it. I think they look weird and ugly on little girls anyway.

It’s not the bride demanding it and even if it were I would set her straight (I would also not be paying for the privilege of being her bridesmaid).

That it’s SIL makes the whole thing bizarre and you just need to be firm with her.

Bm don't wear matching shoes and no way would I put a 7 year old in heels

YANBU. I wouldn't want a seven year old in heals (unless they desperately wanted to be and were used to heals). I guess it would be OK to walk down the aisle in the heals then change into flats but why should you have to buy another pair of shoes anyway?

I would get her flats. She would have a rubbish time if her feet ended up sore or she hurt her ankle because she can't walk in them. I would go for comfort. Also it's not precious to have a child in flat safe shoes.

Is a 1.5 inch heel actually a heel though?

And I say that as someone who dislikes heels on children!

I’m actually in the same situation! 5 year old Dd is flower girl at a wedding and we were instructed on the dress but told we could get whatever shoes we wanted. Got lovely ballet flats Dd adored until bride showed up one day with little heeled shoes for her to wear. Dd was over the moon in love with them but honestly I feel a bit seeing her totter around in heels. She’ll wear them for the ceremony and the flats for reception.

Nope. You've already got the shoes, use them.