Demonisation of formula!!!

[Summertimehaze]

Don’t know if anyone watched the Dispatches programme last night on breastfeeding? The more I think about that programme the more annoyed I’m getting!!! The demonisation of formula really doesn’t help mothers who struggle to breastfeed and have to start using formula or even as a top up!! Most mothers want to do what’s right for their babies and know that breast is best. But some mums just can’t do it and so formula literally becomes a lifesaver. I’m sick of seeing mums feel so guilty about it and letting their children bloody starve because they surely can’t give them the evil formula!!!!!! The programme basically tells a new mum that it’s really tough to breastfeed, there is no support, they will be judged BUT formula is not an option!!! Grrrrrrrrr 😡. AIBU

I don't actually find sterilising that bad although admittedly am not sterilising multiple bottles throughout the day.

I didn’t sterilise until after 6 months but when I did I just find it too bad either. Mam do self sterilising dummies and bottles even that can go in microwave.

didn’t *

I can’t comment for a newborn though but I can’t say I’d have found it harder than breastfeeding. I agree with posters further up that support is paramount. I was breastfeeding ds then stood cooking dinner and then breastfeeding him again and when I sat down to eat it he would want fed again. It was relentless. Relatives would come over with no casseroles and wouldn’t have a clue what to do with ds, they would just look at me.

I watched it. If the statistics at the beginning showing the majority of people believe formula is the same as breast milk are correct then more education is required in the UK.

I know several people who have stopped bf due to comments in public. It’s not acceptable that this happens to even one mother and baby.

I do believe all formula advertising should be banned and the NHS should not market any formula in any hospital (they were still recommending and had formula on display only 2 years ago in the hospital I was in). The fact companies are allowed to advertise 6 month plus milk shows the government does not take this seriously.

The UK does need to look at why out breastfeeding rates are one of the worst in the world and what impact it has on health. (It may transpire there is no impact on health). I don’t know how much independent research has been done as it’s probably seen as a woman and child issue. Formula companies research will be biased and there’s no money to be made is 98% of women breastfeed.

snuggybuggy I learnt to feed standing up and walking around and could feed whilst playing something with a toddler or bathing them. I used to feed whilst pushing a trolley round the supermarket because it didn't seem to matter how recently I'd fed, DS was always ravenous in Tesco!

I think sterilising and making up feeds takes less time though.

Sterilizing wasn't any trouble, I just used to give my bottles a quick scrub round with the brush in hot washing up water, put them in the dishwasher & then fill the steriliser, had plenty of bottles & because then it was ok to make bottles & put in the fridge, used to make a steriliser full every morning & evening, took 5 minutes to make 6 bottles, then 10 seconds in microwave, good shake when I needed one.

I agree @harrietm87. I watched the programme too, despite worrying I'd find it difficult viewing. I'm one of the many people who was desperate to breastfeed and sadly it just didn't work out for. We live in a postcode that's relatively well-served so I had input in the first 8 weeks from the NHS (health visitor and weekly breastfeeding clinic) and I also sought fortnightly support from La Leche League and a cranial osteopath. My son never got the hang of latching and no one was ever able to really tell me why. I chose to express and 9 months in I'm still doing this and topping up with formula when I can't express enough. I was mindful that the very poor breastfeeding rate that was quoted doesn't differentiate all the people who wanted to breastfeed but couldn't. Perhaps further research needs to look at this.

I felt a bit sad that the programme showed her expressing for 3 seconds but then didn't refer to how this can be a viable method for those who want to breastfeed but are unable to. (Don't get me wrong, it's tricking hard work and I've been tempted to stop many, many times and wouldn't judge a single person that didn't do this). I did however also realise that this was only a 30 minute programme looking at one very specific aspect of feeding. Really it needed to be an hour to have any impact. As a Nestlé boycotter I was also pleased to see they got Baby Milk Action involves, albeit very briefly.

Personally I thought it was a good overview of a programme but was too short to really go into topics at depth.
I don't think it demonised ff in fact throughout it stated that women should be supported and they stated it wasn't about judging choice.
For many non parents it would have challenged conceptions they may have had and the main message was that society needed a kick up the bum!

Stating the differences between breast milk and formula is a fact which cannot be changed and its about giving people better information so that they can choose what's best for them.

Some areas it could have gone into more detail about ff but I definitely found it an eye opener how many people here knew there was no difference between new born milk and follow on?!

I think it had an important message that no mother should be judged by society and that you can't just expect something to change because they say breast is best without the support. I wonder if a lot of people's comments maybe because they feel like they were if they chose to ff or even received comments.

Advice to midwives is that nobody should feel judged in reality that's easier said than done. Personally I would just like to see a shift in society attitude to all mothers for a bit more understanding...

I am planning on giving bf a go and I know that I'm lucky as Scotland heath trusts still have funding so there is support groups etc if I can do it then great but if I can't then I'm happy to ff.

People always end up contradicting themselves - either BFing is the harder option and ffing is the easier way. Or else they couldn't be bothered with all the sterilising and making up bottles and BFing is so much easier

Personally, having combi fed from five days to a year - the making bottles and sterilising don't take very long at all. I boiled a full kettle after our first breastfeed of the day and made a cuppa then. Water left for half an hour whilst I got DD washed and up. 3-4 small bottles made up and put in fridge (time taken approx 2 minutes?!). In the evening whichever of us was washing up washed the bottles first in the hottest water, rinsed and into microwave steriliser, where they stayed until morning. It added a few minutes onto washing up which was happening anyway.

Not difficult. Not time consuming. And crucially could be done by someone other than me!

Harriet saying you can't tell the difference and my kids are fine aren't non points because they're fact.The vast maj of kids have formula and are fine. As far as Im aware no poster has x Ray vision and can see the insides of my children. How on earth can anybody state that my dc are blighted inside because I didn't bf for 4 and a half more months. What is wrong with them inside now they are teens exactly and how can you attribute it directly to those 4 months without breastmilk? Are you saying any 4 months of less than ideal parenting choices permanently leaves detrimental damage inside each and every child?

And re SIDS sorry but it is not unreasonable as a non smoking,non co sleeping,dummy using,non over heating,laying on the back ff mother not to lose any sleep over it. The figures are tiny even before you factor in the above. But the poster who raised that issue doesn't care about that do they,they just want to scare monger.

Sorry to disappoint but when you get to the teen years you realise what a crock of shite the whole bfing scaremongering thing is. Over the years I have probably worried infinitely more about a whole range of other far more worthy parenting choices daily.Real things that really do warrant worry.I find it incredibly sad the huge amount of unnecessary pressure a small number of people want to put on new mothers even before you factor in the fact there is no support to enable many to bf.

By all means shout for more support for those that both want and need it but stat twisting,stat inflating and guilt mongering no thanks unless of course you think we should have this attitude with all parenting choices ideals.

@ferntwist the reducing SIDS risk thing with BFing? Trouble is, the Baby Friendly Initiative bans the use of dummies, even though it's been shown that dummy use has more of a protective effect than BFing. As does very simple things like baby on their back next to but not in the same bed, on a new mattress for each baby and not having clothes/toys/bedding they can pull over their heads.

The SIDS risk thing with BFing terrified me when we had to start using formula to save DD's life when my milk failed to arrive for weeks but it turned out the risks were absolutely tiny and many other things played a larger part.

My friend whose pregnant at the moment made the comment that she won’t be breastfeeding because ‘it ruins your boobs.’ I think that’s a common misconception about breastfeeding that does prevail no matter how vain it may sound. She also said her and her siblings were all formula fed and it didn’t do them any harm. She then insinuates that it’s for earth mother hippies.

‘And re SIDS sorry but it is not unreasonable as a non smoking,non co sleeping,dummy using,non over heating,laying on the back ff mother not to lose any sleep over it. The figures are tiny even before you factor in the above. But the poster who raised that issue doesn't care about that do they,they just want to scare monger.’

^ this

Riding me too with my dd. I got obsessed about it and I'm pretty sure it contributed to my PND along with the bfing failure.I look back now and I realise how stupid I was- the figures are so small,it's thankfully rare and none of the risk factors applied to us not even the ones I didn't list such as low birth weight or prem. We did everything right bar bfing. Yet the focus for some posters apparently needs to be on breast feeding.

Sometimes wish I could write a letter to myself as a new mother.

mummabubs you ARE breastfeeding (or combo feeding) the stays are those who receive breastmilk (from source, exclusively,, partially or expressed) and those who receive formula exclusively. It's 2 boxes. Breastfeeding doesn't have to mean from the breast, just that the child is in receipt of some quantity of breastmilk.

And crucially could be done by someone other than me!

I think that is the absolute best bit about formula feeding. When mum is exhausted, unwell, touched out or (shock horror) wants time away from baby, SOMEONE ELSE can feed them. I didn't have that choice with DS. I had to feed despite weeks of less than 3 hours sleep in 24hours, despite nursing aversion, when I had norovirus, when I was touched out. I couldn't leave him for more than 45minutes for almost 6 months. At 6 months we went out for dinner, were out less than 2 hours and came home to a screaming, seemingly starving (but not starving enough to take the bottle) baby.b

We have very weird reactions to feeding babies and breasts in the UK. The ‘seen and not heard’ mentality along with being shamed for ‘exposing’ yourself is oh so British and shame is a very powerful form of social control.

There is a lot of misogyny related to pregnancy/ early motherhood. Breastfeeding yuck how dare you do it in public, cover up woman so the foul bloke sat opposite eating his cake isn't put off by the sight of you. If you want to deny this then find any tabloid newspaper story about Breastfeeding and read the utterly revolting comments.

So FF instead ah no hang on that makes you a shit mum, why even have a baby if you cba to breastfeed/ want to (or need to) go back to work/ have a life of your own? Modern women are selfish dont you know. Again read the comments about related articles.

In terms of why it matters so much, I'm generally pretty strong but having my first baby seriously knocked me for 6. This is a common experience - I wasn't as sensible or rational as usual and had PND. So the guilt stuff really really affected me at the time. 10 years later I don't really understand it even myself.

Breastmilk is best, I don't even need evidence to know that because it just must be true. What is staggering to me is that it is possible to raise happy, healthy babies on powder from a tin. But it is and the impact of this is much lower than I'd expect personally.

I also don't agree that women should breastfeed if they can er no it is up to the individual woman what she does with her breasts.

Ifeel I take my hat off to you. I found the touched out thing as bad as the pain and the worry about weight loss. Think it gets swished under the carpet at times. Sometimes I think if there is any more research it should be on how much stress is ok for mothers and babies during this time. Sadly I don't remember anything nice during that time,in all the photos we look half dead. This blooming babymoon gazing into the eyes of my much longed for babies never really happened,quite the reverse. The mewling made me long to run for the hills.

Lots of negative stuff here about mental health and breastfeeding- which I do respect.

However, my story is the opposite.

My birth was horrible. Emergency section. Nightmares and flashbacks for months. Partner called the GP about my mental state at one point.

Breastfeeding got me through. After the clusterfuck of a birth, what I saw as my appalling behaviour during and just after the birth and god knows what else, I was bloody determined to get one thing right and that was breastfeeding. I pissed off my inlaws with my refusal to do anything else in the first month. No regrets. Getting from one feed to the next was my only goal- keep me going, kept me sane and I later found out that breastfeeding does cause endorphins to be released in the mothers brain.

It can help.

I did all that and then some. Not sure where my endorphins disappeared to as I sure as hell didn't feel any.

I'm not proud to admit this but I haven't found cluster feeding a bonding experience at all, it's more like being stuck on dialysis all evening.

That's really good to hear flowers and I'm really glad it worked for you after such a horrible birth experience. Really it's just the same point though isn't it but a positive story rather than a negative one. Mental health in the post partum period is more fragile for many than at other times and that breastfeeding can have an impact on it.

My breastfeeding didn’t work out with ds1.
I’m hoping things will be different this time.
But I have to say I really was not offended by this programme. I don’t think it set out to demonise women, it raised the issues of the lack of support for women and the way society views breastfeeding as barriers making it difficult.
If anything it was supportive of women, saying that of they choose to breastfeed they should have lots of support and the right not to be judged.
As for the facts about all of the things that breastmilk contains that formula doesn’t, well these are just facts. You shouldn’t take offence to the truth. I know that breastmilk is superior nutritionally to formula and it’s why I wanted to breastfeed in the first place.
But just because it didn’t work out i can’t take offence to the fact that breastmilk is better. It’s just fact.
The good news is formula whilst not as good, is good enough for babies still to thrive so I’m not going to get too upset about it and hopefully things will be easier with second baby and I can successfully breastfeed. But then again with the inadequate support the show highlights, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s all a huge struggle. Once again.

After the clusterfuck of a birth, what I saw as my appalling behaviour during and just after the birth and god knows what else, I was bloody determined to get one thing right and that was breastfeeding.

That sounds exactly like me. And I think that's why I continued despite the significant negative impact on my mental health.

Bfing releases endorphins in most women but in a small number it causes something called DMER, which is the exact opposite. I strongly suspect it's something I had. But due to bfing being heralded as the holy grail of motherhood it isn't widely recognised.