She’s threw away my bloody dinner!!!

[GoJetterGirl]

Just a rant,

I had just sat down to dinner, baby kicks off needing a feed and a cuddle, I got him changed and settled and put into bed, and go downstairs to eat my dinner,

And the MIl has thrown it away!!! She bloody threw my dinner away!!!

2 issues here,

1. it would t be so bad if she had actually washed up, I could almost forgive her if she was generally tidying up,

And 2) she has a mouth, why not ask if I was finished, I make it blatantly clear that I was coming back down to eat once baby was settled!! I even put a plate over the plate iykwim, so it stayed at least a fraction warm...

Gah, what did I expect really (you’ll know what I mean if you’ve read my other threads...

You smashed her teapot!! I LOVE a happy ending.

Given that we now understand the OP is around 6 years' old

What can we take from this thread? I think I have gleaned that 6 year olds cannot be trusted with washing up and can in fact exhibit rage to those people who are just hanging around to help

Ha! love teapot karma (but am really sorry that she's not actually stepping up and being a positive help at the moment rather than a grade A arse)

OP a why don't you answer the question of why you put up with her?

The op if i remember has a very poorly child and I think that the grandparents have only made things worse making his illness all about them etc.

Forgive me if I’ve got it wrong, anyway based on ops other threads the MIL is lucky to even be in the house.

How they thought I was going to be able to make myself some lunch with a baby clamped to my breast for hours and hours on end is beyond me.

Absolutely!

I wouldn't even have minded if 'lunch' had just been a cup of tea and some biscuits....(which is what I got for myself at about 4pm)…..it just would have been nice if they'd thought for a moment that maybe sharing 'their' lunch (my food) would be appropriate.

DH was really cross with them later. They just said 'oh well, we just didn't think'

Also loving the teapot karma :)

I think the tea pot probably jumped to get away from her.

She sounds awful op.
I would be furious if I came down hungry from settling a child to find my dinner gone!

Thesearepearls how exactly is it helping to throw someone's dinner in the bon?
Even if you did think they'd finished (and it's obvious that a parent interrupted by a crying infant hasnt) how is it helping to scrape a plate clean without washing it up?

That would have given me the rage, hangry is a thing! Glad your replacement dinner was nicer anyway. Whilst I don't approve of smashing personal belongings, I'd say in this case it's justified. Your in laws are horrors and you're a saint to have her in your house.

@greatduckcookery my guess (and apologies OP) would be that OP is just trying to make do and it was me I'd wonder - is going NC with IL (given that its not always a straight forward process) likely to make life easier in the short term.

What a bloody cheek! Did she do it for spite? Tell her to get her arse back in kitchen and clean up! And while she is there tell her to make you dinner!

Of course it was spite! OP, I am amazed that you have allowed them in your house. Does your DS want them there, is that why?

You haven't mentioned the full circumstances so I won't, but I remember your previous threads and personally I wouldn't have blamed you for braining her with the sodding teapot.

You know that later on, she will be weeping and wailing about how you tried to help but you were an utter bitch to her (and she will say this no matter what you do) so you might as well make it true. One more wrong move, give her both barrels and make her leave. She is utter poison.

@Worridmum I suggest you look up the OPs previous threads. OPs son is very poorly with cancer which I believe is terminal (correct me if I'm wrong). PILs have been nothing but a nightmare since the diagnosis, trying to insist on second opinions, trying to barge in and be there at hospital appointments, making their grandsons illness all about them ("How do we tell out friends that our grandson has cancer?") and have generally been all-round selfish twats about it all.

So I'd say a smashed teapot is the least she deserves.

Thesearepearls and worridmum as OP mentions, there is a backstory. Her PILs are incredibly nasty and have been treating OP and her husband appallingly. Their behaviour would be awful anyway, but it's made a million times worse by the fact that the OP's child has terminal cancer.

Oh such a shame about the accident with the tea pot she sounds even worse than my ILs, and that’s saying something.

I was invited over for dinner when I was alone with twin babies ‘so you don’t eat dinner on your own’. Sat down, 1 baby started crying, trapped wind. ILs ate their food and cleared off to other rooms. I settled DD, ate my food (cold by now) dinner on my own and went home. They were annoyed because I didn’t stay for the evening before walking home.

Ah cross-posted with Aint :) and yes I wouldn't normally advocate damaging someone's property but this sounds like a genuine accident and even if not, it's hard to sympathise with the MIL after she has deliberately made OP's life even more difficult.

I find it mind-boggling how anyone can behave this way. You'd think they'd want to do anything to make their grandchild and his parents' lives a little easier. Even if they don't get along any decent person would try and put that aside given the circumstances.

Having said that when my mum phoned her parents to tell them my cancer had spread and was incurable they told her not to bother phoning if she only had bad news at least they've just been completely unsupportive rather than actively trying to make things worse! Sadly these situations sometimes bring out the worst in people.

Whoa leslie that is awful, awful behaviour - were they always insensitive twats? As ever, wishing you the best!

Thank you myrtle but I didn't mean to hijack OP's thread. Just empathising a little.

@Leslie what stage are you at? If you don't mind me asking

I don't mind you asking, but I really didn't mean to crash this thread so will PM you.

Leslie that is shocking.

Treat her exactly like the idiot she's choosing to be. For next time she's there (if there has to be a next time), get a big bright block of post-its - the biggest size ones you can find - and slap an extremely patronising note on EVERYTHING. "This is GJG's meal - it is NOT finished, DO NOT touch"; "This is a vase in use - DO NOT remove flowers and drink water"; "This very small person is a baby - DO NOT get alarmed that he/she does not speak when spoken to"; "Window: Open to make the room cooler; close to make it less cool". Use the whole block!

If (when) she asks why you've done it, innocently reply that you fully understand she has great difficulty in understanding some basic things and you really want to practically support her in her needs. If she replies with anything other than a genuinely sincere "Thank you for your thoughtfulness" (highly unlikely), burst into exaggerated tears and bluster between snotty sobs that you're so worried about her, that we all get old and lose our mental faculties and then plead with her to let you accompany her to the GP for a formal diagnosis and the help that she now clearly needs in these, her twilight years....

OP's MIL and FIL are so much worse. I don't know how anyone could be so cruel and heartless!

WeBuilt

I've always wondered what Phoebe wrote on the note in the MY SANDWICH episode of Friends. Perhaps that would be appropriate here!