irrelevant details, fed up, is it just me?

[JoanFrenulum]

With DH mostly. I ask him to do a thing, I don't want a blow-by-blow account of exactly how he's doing the thing. I just asked him to sort out seats on a flight so that he, I and DD are all sat together. So he gave me this stream of consciousness through the entire process, down to telling me how he's deciding between calling customer service on the phone or on Skype. I DON'T FUCKING CARE. AIBU? I asked him to do it because I had loads of other things to take care of; if I'd wanted to know about all the details I would have done it myself.

I stayed nice but am boiling inside. Or, also today, over lunch with relatives he treated us all to a blow-by-blow account in real time of him figuring out when his next colonoscopy is, right down to looking up the time difference between time zones. NOBODY CARES WHEN YOU ARE GETTING YOUR ARSE INSPECTED. SPECIALLY NOT AT LUNCH ON HOLIDAY.

He's basically a pretty good bloke. How do I say "For the love of god spare me the liveblog" without sounding like a bitch?

OK maybe I am being a bit U but I need to vent somewhere or I'll say something mean IRL, and I really truly don't know how to ask him to tone down the granularity of the commentary without sounding mean.

Mine does this about work all the time. Long and involved telling of who he rang, what was said, what he did about x problem. I've never met any of the people, probably never will and I'm not technical so have no idea what he's on about usually.Mostly I just nod along as I know it's his way of decompressing from the day but occasionally (usually when I've had a bad day at work) it boils me inside.

Getting in the car with my Mum this morning, first things she said was ....Diana (neighbours) had her air conditioning units serviced this morning...

Why oh why is that interesting to me?

I told her she is over invested in what her neighbours are doing. She got a bit uppity and said she had nothing else going on. Not my problem Mum, you choose to vegetate at home all day.

Also, people who will pretty much repeat to you verbatim what somebody in the same room has just said, whom you very clearly heard the first time. Why?!?!?!?!

I have an uncle who will tell you a joke (usually not at all funny, but fair enough - humour is subjective) and you laugh politely. At which point, he takes the laughter as you wanting to hear the exact same joke again!! And on the odd occasion that it IS a funny (I think) joke, it's because I told it to him literally a few minutes before!!

“Darling, I trust your judgement, just put it in the diary when you’re done”.

(I’m now going to chew off my own feet in a quiet room just so I don’t have to listen to you any more:

This reminds me of one of my favourite parts in Still Game.

@ShinyPink - I recalled this scene much earlier on in the thread. But maybe I gave so much boring and irrelevant background waffle that you zoned out and missed it

I also love Victor's highly-effective way of shutting Jack down sometimes even before he's about to start rambling (or possibly say something embarrassing). Jack might be only two words into his intended monologue, when Victor lifts his hand and says "That's plenty, Jack!"

DH does this. His worst habit is the need to build a dramatic climax over a non-event especially when I am in a rush. We had a very snappy row outside one morning because of his incessant need to do this.

He'd gone out to get something one of the DS's needed for school. Returned and he started his tale with the nearest shop not having it. So I just ushered the boys to the car as it was very tight for time. He got all cross that I hadn't listened to the end of the story as he'd got it from another shop. It's like he's a walking click bait ad!

My mother is world class at this. She does it becaus she likes to fill every space with chat or political debate rather than hear you tell her anything deep or worrying; and because she likes to monopolise the conversation and the attention of everyone in earshot.
She tells me the events of telly we watched together, and of programmes I haven't watched. She insists on telling me what's in the paper; asking if I have read it constantly. How could I have read it, when she has had her mitts on it since the moment I bought it?
She complains about people I don't know. She retells stories I've told her, and woe betide me if I dare correct her.
And, and, she knows she's doing it! Because I once had a complete tolerance fail and started barking "Upshot?" Like a deranged Paxman, and she gave man a very cool look and said "No, you have to hear the whole saga".
Her sons-in-law retreat to other rooms during her visits.

It's like he's a walking click bait ad!

I don't bother to sugar coat it plus I lose my diplomacy skills when I'm getting irritated.

I just tell them straight; 'get to the f.cking point.'

Oh god, my dh does this. Like others, I can start to feel panicky wondering if it will ever end so now I just snap "too much detail, get to the point" and he calls me rude boy but does at least get to the point.

Also have an older friend whose neighbours I've never met yet feel I know deeply. She is lonely, I get that but fuck me, it's dull. Am minded of this scene

DH's best Big Reveal was another shopping one (the hunter-gatherer instinct is strong in him). He'd been shopping and was Very Pleased with Himself. He'd remembered something we really needed but kept forgetting. Asked me to guess. I had no idea what the mystery item was, so he took it from the bag with a flourish and a "Ta-Da!". A light bulb shot out and smashed into pieces.

FrayedHem so funny. I bet he was crestfallen.

@FrayedHem

I'll bet that completely took the shine off it for him.... (they call me The Coat-Getter)

There's an inherent selfishness about it though, isn't there? I mean, dh and my friend fully expect me to stand there giving undivided attention for a monologue that could be wrapped up in seconds were I giving it. So I wander off doing what needs doing and they follow me around talking at me. It's not a conversation, they just want someone to talk at I find it bloody rude now I come to think of it. The % of words I manage to sneak in is woefully low

He saw the funny side. It was a non-standard light bulb that we'd needed for months and months so it just seemed even more hilarious and just very typical of how things goes Chez les Frayz. If anyone smashes anything it's known as "having a light bulb moment" now.

FrayedHem how many more months was it before a replacement for the replacement was remembered? I bet it was ages

To add to the picture, he was on his knees. I dunno why but this made it even funnier to me. Like the world's shittiest proposal.

Unperturbed my brave warrior returned to wilds of Tesco the following day and retrieved 2!

Yes @pippylou!! less words bored now is my new life motto.

Mine can't help but include an introduction to everything he's about to say e.g. "I have a suggestion" then pauses for acknowledgement before continuing with said suggestion. For the love of god just bloody say it in the first place, I'm right here and we're mid conversation! I now ignore it and do a raised eyebrow blank stare until he continues..

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll His poor ego shattered like a light bulb to the laminate...

@itwaseverthus it's a tricky one isn't it. My dad was really intolerant of what he considered to be "yammering on" despite being a man of many, many words himself. I hated how that made me feel so I really try not to be critical about it. But there is a point where it can get quite draining when it isn't a reciprocal conversation, just a torrent of words.

I'm sorry I've come late to this thread. DH broadcasts on 'DH FM' constantly, I cannot bear it.

He does it because his DM does it, I suppose it's an anxiety thing. I've taken to ignoring him when he starts, and explaining why; it's really poor behaviour and very annoying for everyone around him.

For my Mum I think it partly from being very self absorbed and having the belief that she should be allowed to hold court, added to fuck all else in her life - despite many attempts from me to encourage hobbies, other things to do etc.

The absolutely worst part is the repeating (not age related, she's always done it).
A Mumsnetter referred to it on here a while ago as Tales of the Expected.

I think I've said this before on another thread, we used to Skype regularly before she moved nearer to me. These would be marathons and I would go away from the PC for a pee and smoke half a fag and she wouldn't notice I was gone. Honestly I would come back and she would still be in full flow.

None of us are exempt, friends, family, strangers, shop staff, vet, Dr, all get the same treatment.
If anyone dares to change the subject, she brings it back round to what she was talking about and yammers on some more. Exhausting.

I've posted this before, but MIL is a 'running commentator' from the second she awakes we don't stay there anymore

Come on, oven, hurry up, I know the vicar's using all the electricity but I've set the rats in the basement to work on their bikes and you should be heating up faster than this AH c'mon kettle, work a bit harder, Mrs Thingumy down the road can't be using all the electricity now, can she, unless I forgot to put money in the meter what meter etc etc ad infinitum

I suppose it stops her talking about Brexit.