irrelevant details, fed up, is it just me?

[JoanFrenulum]

With DH mostly. I ask him to do a thing, I don't want a blow-by-blow account of exactly how he's doing the thing. I just asked him to sort out seats on a flight so that he, I and DD are all sat together. So he gave me this stream of consciousness through the entire process, down to telling me how he's deciding between calling customer service on the phone or on Skype. I DON'T FUCKING CARE. AIBU? I asked him to do it because I had loads of other things to take care of; if I'd wanted to know about all the details I would have done it myself.

I stayed nice but am boiling inside. Or, also today, over lunch with relatives he treated us all to a blow-by-blow account in real time of him figuring out when his next colonoscopy is, right down to looking up the time difference between time zones. NOBODY CARES WHEN YOU ARE GETTING YOUR ARSE INSPECTED. SPECIALLY NOT AT LUNCH ON HOLIDAY.

He's basically a pretty good bloke. How do I say "For the love of god spare me the liveblog" without sounding like a bitch?

OK maybe I am being a bit U but I need to vent somewhere or I'll say something mean IRL, and I really truly don't know how to ask him to tone down the granularity of the commentary without sounding mean.

One of my dc's will do this, if i am short on time or rushing to get out of the house, i have tried to get her to get to the point - however all that achieves is a hurt look and then she'll start again from the beginning...argh! I've learnt now to just let it flow over me, 'cos the price of having it told to me twice is too high to pay.

My ex did this and I used to zone out if it was a repeat.He always complained that I never listened to him.

My heart sinks when I ask certain people a simple yes or no question and they start their answer with "Well,...."

Oh, yes! Also, people who will not let you get away however much you make it clear you're in a terrible hurry. A lot of the time, it's not even that they didn't hear what you said, as it becomes their new topic and fuels them with yet more material. They then hold you up by gabbing at great length, often interspersing it with telling you that you'll need to dash (as if YOU'RE the one holding THEM up), but never actually letting you get away:

"I have a dentist's appointment across town in 10 minutes"
"Ooh, there's nothing worse than toothache, is there? I used to go to that dentist, but I moved to the other one - where my niece's friend works as a receptionist - as they never had free appointments on Wednesdays, and that's the easiest day for me as on Monday, I do my big weekly shop - I normally go to Asda, but I've started trying that new Aldi that's just opened on the site of the old fire station. On Tuesdays, I always meet with Barbara for a cup of tea. Well, she likes that fruit tea, but our regular cafe doesn't do it, so we thought we'd try Morrison's cafe. And on Thursdays,..........

"I've just been told that my house is on fire!!!"
"Oh, you'd better get there quick sharpish, then. You know Graham? Graham.... Graham.... I can't remember his last name, but his uncle lives down my road at number 68. No, actually, it might be number 78. Anyway, Graham's just joined the local fire brigade, so it'll probably be him attending. He can't drive the engine yet as he hasn't had the necessary training. I think they use a Dennis fire engine now - I remember they always used to be DAF engines when our Ken worked for them. Mind, he's been retired for 25 years now. He had to retire early on medical grounds. He worked part-time as a security guard for 4 - no, must have been 5 years, because his birthday's in August - before he was able to start drawing his state pension......."

Oh gawd OP, I'm just like your DH! My DH stops me with "this is a boring story" or, delivered very slowly, "aaaand theeeeeennnn?" Sometimes I genuinely bore myself as I'm talking Over the years I think I've gotten better but it still takes conscious effort on my part. So envious of people who can be really succinct like my DH
Think I learned it in part from my mum who's another "my colleague who you don't know's neighbour Nancy - or is it Nina? Oh Nina's a lovely name; maybe your DB should name his baby that. Have you heard the names they're considering?! Why can't they just pick something normal?? I hope this one's less of a picky eater than their others. You kids were never like that, thank goodness. Anyway back to Nancy, the neighbour of my colleague you've never met..." but also it's just a way of processing my thoughts. It took me a while to learn to work through decisions or processes in my mind instead of out loud! Still really bad at it when I'm tired / hungry.

YY to Kevin Turvey! "I heard somebody knocking at my door, so I got up from the table and ran down the hallway - where I keep my front door."

Maybe we should all just adopt the tough-love approach and take a lesson from Judge Rinder.
Every time they deviate from relevant facts: "Booooooo-rinnnnggggg!!!!"
Every time they don't instantly answer your very clear question: "Stooooooo-pidddd!!!!"

Maybe it's the only way they'll learn. The problem is that most of us would never do that, though, as we don't want to upset them - even though they're permanently upsetting us with their endless pointless blethering when we're in a hurry or just need some head-peace.

However unintentional it doubtless is, it's actually a form or mental torture. The worst thing is that, if you could know in advance that they were going to waffle for exactly ten minutes before letting you go on your merry way or telling you what you actually need to know, you could allow for it and keep checking your watch or mentally count down the minutes before regaining your freedom. When it's completely open ended and you have no idea just how long it's going to be, you're just left screaming inside in utter despair.

I worked with someone who would say "with the xyz project, I spoke with ms A and we agreed, PAUSE with the xyz project, I spoke with ms A and we agreed, LONG PAUSE, to send form A&B together.

Any interruptions or she sensed someone wasn't listening properly and she went right back to the beginning. With longer pauses.

Look up Insights personality model on line. He is a blue personality type.

DH can be a total bore too. If I'm feeling patient I adopt a neutral expression, don't answer or interject (it only encourages him) and wait it out. If I'm feeling less patient I wander off or talk over him. Not kind I know but neither is hastening me to my grave with fucking boring shite.

My DH is also like this. He is so good with people and reading other people and their character but he does not stop telling irrelevant details of a story. Even when I'm sitting there rolling my eyes and just about sleeping with boredom.

YY to the PP who asked their DH whether they got bread. This is us. It's a yes or no question! I don't need to know how where or why not!

Last night he was telling me a story and when we eventually got to the end it was actually a really good OMG story but he was too busy telling me irrelevant parts and missing out important parts that we had to go back and fill in the blanks.

About 3 years into our relationship I had a moment where I thought I cannot live like this any longer! I'm very used to it now and just tell him to bloody well get on with it.

He's at a job interview right now that would change our lives if he got it and I warned him before he left to stick to the point and answer the bloody questions!

I love the bones of him and I'm not perfect so I can handle too much chat!

Some hilarious stories here. My dm got longwinded but mostly when she was lonely or a bit nervous.
Dh is always telling me to get to the the point so I will bear all this in mind poor man. Having said that I would love him to talk more sometimes!!

I'm a Prison Officer and I get this all the fucking time.... that's why when I go on holiday I try and get as far away from people as is humanly possible.

Or I'm a miserable cow - could be either really!

Just laughing as I sit here sipping my coffee, lovely stuff, its an organic blend from Peets but we don't get it from Peets we get from Costco where it's so much cheaper than the actual Peets shop, strange that...anyway it's very difficult to find the right balance for some isn't it?

There's taciturnity to the point of mute like my DH.

John called and said Sue had the baby". Turns away and starts watching the news.
Aaand? What's the sex, name, weight, are they both all right? The normal things people ask people who've just had a baby? Not him.

Then there's tongue running on wheels like my mum.

'Sue had the baby, you know. You know Sue, she's - well, you know Jane and Michael Smith that we met in Fort Lauderdale when we went to Florida last time? She's their oldest daughter, not the one who went to live in Australia, that's Julie. Anyway it's a little boy, which is nice, of course a little girl would be nice too maybe they'll try for a girl next time. So she went in one of those birthing pools, we didn't have those when you were born, mind you that's good because when you were born it was February and I wouldn't have wanted to be going swimming in February would I? Birthing pools, ha ha remember that time me and your Dad went to Tenerife and there was that pool in the hotel,? Which reminds me, did I tell you that your Dad lost his keys when we went shopping in Primark? What a bloody performance. So we were in town and your Dad needed a new shirt for Sandra's wedding, Donald's youngest girl, so after we'd been to the bank, Santander not the Halifax because we had to close our account with them after...

My most used phrase is "Annnddd....skip to the end!"

DD2 does it a lot and is quite good humoured when I say I didnt ask for her life story, but my mother is the worst. The whole fixating on whether it was Monday or Tuesday when she went out and saw the person I dont know and couldnt care less about who's daughter had a hysterectomy at the same hospital my dad had his bunion removed..........

I do this.

I find I'm often in two modes, silence or non-stop super-fast rambling. Luckily my friends / partners are either like me, or don't seem to mind.

*I knew someone who used to so this.

I avoided her as much as possible. Or avoided conversation anyway. She also had a tendency to repeat herself. So you got the same fucking monotonous account 3 fucking times if you weren't careful.

Fortunately she was also an oversensitive fucker and took offence very easily over the slightest imagined insults so spent as much time ignoring me as what she did speaking at me.

Couldn't live with it though.*

Frouby this is my Mum exactly.

Endless boring monologues about the neighbours, people I have never met or have no interest in and blow by blow accounts of what she has done.
Then repeated.

Hardly ever asks about my day.
I just sit there on my phone which I know is really rude but because she has no filter she doesn't say anything or doesn't care.

The repeating drives me insane and also hearing the same done to death tales when she tells another poor fucker.

Sorry but if people's start to glaze over and get their phones out it's time to stop.

Oh god I have so many people in my life like this.

My FIL tells me the same irrelevant details of the same long-winded stories over and over. He even says, “I know I’ve told you this before, but ...” and then launches into it all over again 🤦‍♀️

My mum cannot get to the point for Love nor money. I have to say to her “but you haven’t actually answered my question?”

This is DM all over! A monologue that you've heard at least three times before - and have told her that she told you this story already.

TMI

I've just had a friend staying for the weekend who does this and it drove me fucking nuts.
Some people just do not know how to summarise or answer a question directly.

The low point was when she answered her phone and after the call had ended spent 10 minutes giving me details of the health problems of the elderly parents of the friend to whom she had been speaking.

I have not and will not ever meet any of these people.

I let her talk herself into silence and then just said, "Would you like some tea?"

As I get older I have less & less patience with this sort of thing

I have a person in my acquaintance who does something similar but possibly EVEN MORE BORING AND IRRITATING. She just 'can't not talk' in the passenger seat of cars. Unfortunately she has nothing of relevance to say so (I kid you not) gives a running commentary on the road signs and other items 'of interest' on the route, thus:

'50 miles per hour then.... Loose chippings... Oooh, road closures here from 31 July from midnight, eh?... National speed limit... Oh look! Sheep... Keep left at junction... No parking, driveway constantly in use.'

Only the legal requirement to have at least one hand on the steering wheel has stopped me throttling this person.

Haha this thread is making me laugh! I recognize all of this and yes it's tedious.

My father is a waffler, fond of long pauses and monologues. Also does this really fucking annoying thing where he forces you to ask a question in order to lead into the boring monologue.

For example he'll say "I ended up buying one brown shoe today!" or some such fucking moron thing.

Massive pause, expectant smile while he awaits your question that you've now been forced to ask, then when you do, heavy hearted as you know what's coming, he settles down for the long haul, safe in the knowledge that he's only talking because you've asked him to, you see, so he can take as long as he likes boring on about his fucking shoe.

Hebe my dad does this too! No idea why.

We'll be going along, and suddenly it'll be

• AH, WILLIAM STREET.

• FLIGHTS TILING

etc.

It reminds me of when my kids were toddlers and they were learning to read.

My DP does this, I have an invisible remote control i point at him and press fast forward - he gets the hint! Now I’ve started a job working from home though, I don’t talk to anyone all day, so find myself doing the same thing when talking to him in the evenings. The shame!